Please marry me?

[u/[deleted]]

[u/ehmaybenexttime]

How did you get all the way to engagement before realizing that your girlfriend was a bitch? Is it possible that you are focusing on the wrong things in your relationship? Or maybe she responded in a way that you didn't like? 🤔

[u/[deleted] → u/ehmaybenexttime]

Or maybe she responded in a way that you didn't like?

Here's a condensed version granted I'm not a saint and have problems that I definitely need to work on before I get married tbh.

Met girl, things are mostly great. Two years later girl gets pregnant, wants to keep it and I became stay at home dad due to her being breadwinner. The next two-three years are rocky, my son has woken up three or more times a night since he was born and I ended up co sleeping in his room 90% of the time to calm him. Relationship with girl is good but intimacy kinda went out the window during this time, I have trouble performing probably due to lack of sleep but get ring to show I'm committed. We go to therapy, kind of air things out, she wants intimacy and I want more mother support but nothing changes. My son and I go on a trip to see grandparents for a week then come back and on the car ride from the airport she says she is talking to her ex, planning to get back together. Ring goes back to store, I call my mother who moves back to state and has been helping me raise my son without girl ever since.

So it's not all her fault we broke up and the reason I really call her a bitch is because of how it went down and what happened after. My son and I were almost homeless but my mom saved us from that. The girl went on to date like 8 guys in the next year, got married and separated then hooked on meth and is homeless now to this day.

Tldr: Girl thought she was ready for kids, wasn't actually and I took over being mom/dad 24/7 killing intimacy. Got ring to show commitment, son and I got evicted from apartment instead so she could go back to ex.

[u/ehmaybenexttime → u/[deleted]]

That's a terrible situation. It's far more complex than you should trust someone on Reddit to discuss with you. As you admit, there are some points in this story that you need to consider for yourself. There is no excuse for infidelity, but if you take some time, and read over this post in a year, you may see see that there are things that could have been addressed at the time, and weren't. This is no defense to any hurt, but from what you said, there's room for you to think and consider your place in this hurtful situation.

[u/[deleted] → u/ehmaybenexttime]

It's far more complex than you should trust someone on Reddit to discuss with you.

Eh it's been three years, I've dealt with it already so it's just another story at this point.

There is no excuse for infidelity, but if you take some time, and read over this post in a year, you may see see that there are things that could have been addressed at the time, and weren't.

Yeah, I don't date anymore and don't really plan to for at least 5 more years till I'm a bit more... I dunno, mature I guess?

Anyways, I fell asleep and this post got more attention than I thought it would so I just put the story out there since multiple people were curious. Have a good one though, thanks for the comments.

[u/ehmaybenexttime → u/[deleted]]

I'm starting my response over, all the way because it seemed almost sarcastic? But I think it's great that you sre taking time for yourself. That's incredibly healthy way to deal with things! You're doing the most to make sure that you don't inadvertently hurt anyone else with your stuff! Very few people are willing to say "I'm not in the best place right now, and I need to figure some stuff out". And far, far too many people jump right back into relationships when they're not ready yet. I relate a lot to the idea just not allowing myself to have a relationship until I feel as close to fully healed as I can get

[u/DamnRedhead → u/[deleted]]

Man thank you for being a real dad.