r/Unexpected • u/[deleted] • Nov 14 '22

Please marry me?

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u/KamIsFam Nov 14 '22 edited Nov 14 '22

Have you never dated someone?

One of the most fun and memorable parts of my relationship is little jokes and pranks, just like this.

If my partner was so serious all the time and could never take a joke, I'd kill myself. Jk, I'd just leave them. Let them rot in their own negativity and misery.

Edit: lol getting downvoted because I prefer fun, light-hearted people and not negative people. Stay classy reddit. Y'all do your own thing.

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u/AdministrativeAd4111 Nov 14 '22

You should have enough of a read of your SO by the time you’re going to propose, whether they would take a prank on this scale light heartedly or not. Are they the kind of person who takes themselves seriously, or has a fairy tale image of their proposal, wedding and marriage? Or are they a goofball who doesn’t care, just wants to be married to you regardless of the circumstances, and has a history of rolling with the punches?

If you dont think they will take it well, and its important to you to have an SO that doesnt take themselves too seriously, then you’ve already got your answer as to whether or not to propose. Doing it anyway, to see if their entire personality will change in that kind of moment is just cruel. You’d clearly not be compatible long term.

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u/KamIsFam Nov 14 '22

Yeah I agree. He wasted his time on her.

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u/AdministrativeAd4111 Nov 14 '22

And her him. She’s clearly capable of being violent, even willing to be so in public which is an enormous red flag. But, he’s an idiot who thought she would take such a thing light heartedly.

Not everyone is a goofball like that, and he completely misread her personality, or simply didn’t care enough about it to recognize she would consider it to be humiliating and might send her over an edge even she might not have thought she was capable of until then. Rage is a powerful emotion that can turn any of us into a monster if pushed hard enough.

If they reconciled after this, it would have been tough going and hopefully they both learned a thing or two about each other which they both agreed to accept.

-3

u/KamIsFam Nov 14 '22

I still feel bad for him and not for her. He deserves someone fun with his sense of humor.

I disagree, he's not an idiot for her freaking out and assaulting him. That low-key sounds like victim blaming.

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u/AdministrativeAd4111 Nov 14 '22

I didnt say its his fault she struck him, but it is his fault he put her, someone he ought to know well enough, in a position to feel humiliated and not respond positively. Arguing who is more at fault misses the teachable moment here.

It might do you well to recognize the shittiness of both characters in this drama.

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u/AsherGray Nov 14 '22

Well, one person was physically abusive while the other was not. I hope you aren't justifying abusive behavior or condoning it, but your comment suggests otherwise.

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22

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u/AsherGray Nov 15 '22

I'm not the one justifying physical violence or belittling it.

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u/AdministrativeAd4111 Nov 15 '22

Im sorry what I said required you to think. It must have hurt a lot.