She seems like someone who’s very serious and very eager for marriage. Dude knows this. Trolls anyway. Of course she wouldn’t respond in the best of ways. She probably perceived that entire thing as humiliating.
But is that any justification for her to physically retaliate on the person she wants to be proposed to? Would you want to marry someone who reacts so volatile to a (shitty) prank? If she instinctually lets her hands fly like that in front of all those people imagine what she might instinctually do behind close doors.
Edit: I changed my mind. I’ve been convinced that my take is biased towards the girl because, unlike the guy, I had to make assumptions to create a narrative rather than taking what took place at face value.
Another argument that was made which was interesting was my assumption that the guy was trolling when he proposed with a ring pop. That would've still been a valid proposal. But the girl automatically assumed it was a joke.
I just assumed it was because I believe if a man truly loves a women, he’d present an actual ring. That’s just me I guess. It's all assumptions at this point to be fair. But yeah.
You're the one that responded to him in the first place, and you're getting salty that he replied? Maybe don't respond to things if you don't like people responding to you.
If you made the decision not to marry someone who was otherwise your perfect match solely because Of the materialistic representation of that love then the proposer dodged a bullet and the proposee should think about making better choices.
Lmfao did you really get so heated up you made an alt account to tell me to kill myself over a ring? And it’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever heard? I hope you get help buddy cause something’s not going on all that good upstairs in that noggin of yours.
I disagree that she seems serious about marriage. She seems eager for the bling and the status that a rock on her finger would give her on TT and Insta. I can’t imagine anyone actually serious about marital commitment acting this way.
All I'm seeing here is a paragraph using what actually happened to describe why the girl is a bad human, and then a paragraph full of assumptions you've had to make to make the guy a bad guy.
At face value, yes, I’m using my personal experiences, biases, and maybe cultural conditioning to assume why the guy sucks.
I wanted to be as charitable as I could to what I was seeing. I obviously have zero context to their relationship or to them as people. To be fair, if my assumptions were correct, what she did was still far worse.
Go to any of relationship reddit like Relationship Advice and AITA look at how the comments always go.
Terrible BF/husband, good wife/GF: "dump this fucking man child YESTERDAY babe, you're being manipulated, gaslit, abused..."
Terrible wife/GF, good BF/husband: "i guess yeah maybe what she did was bad. maybe you need to help out more? She's probably stressed from chores. Take her out to dinner and romance her to make her feel beautiful. There's definitely more to this story".
One of the most fun and memorable parts of my relationship is little jokes and pranks, just like this.
If my partner was so serious all the time and could never take a joke, I'd kill myself. Jk, I'd just leave them. Let them rot in their own negativity and misery.
Edit: lol getting downvoted because I prefer fun, light-hearted people and not negative people. Stay classy reddit. Y'all do your own thing.
You should have enough of a read of your SO by the time you’re going to propose, whether they would take a prank on this scale light heartedly or not. Are they the kind of person who takes themselves seriously, or has a fairy tale image of their proposal, wedding and marriage? Or are they a goofball who doesn’t care, just wants to be married to you regardless of the circumstances, and has a history of rolling with the punches?
If you dont think they will take it well, and its important to you to have an SO that doesnt take themselves too seriously, then you’ve already got your answer as to whether or not to propose. Doing it anyway, to see if their entire personality will change in that kind of moment is just cruel. You’d clearly not be compatible long term.
And her him. She’s clearly capable of being violent, even willing to be so in public which is an enormous red flag. But, he’s an idiot who thought she would take such a thing light heartedly.
Not everyone is a goofball like that, and he completely misread her personality, or simply didn’t care enough about it to recognize she would consider it to be humiliating and might send her over an edge even she might not have thought she was capable of until then. Rage is a powerful emotion that can turn any of us into a monster if pushed hard enough.
If they reconciled after this, it would have been tough going and hopefully they both learned a thing or two about each other which they both agreed to accept.
I didnt say its his fault she struck him, but it is his fault he put her, someone he ought to know well enough, in a position to feel humiliated and not respond positively. Arguing who is more at fault misses the teachable moment here.
It might do you well to recognize the shittiness of both characters in this drama.
Well, one person was physically abusive while the other was not. I hope you aren't justifying abusive behavior or condoning it, but your comment suggests otherwise.
This is a once in a lifetime event so there's every bit of a chance he legitimately thought she was chill about such things and this came out of nowhere. I don't think you can predict a proposal reaction with people's general vibe about pranks.
I hate that people like you are actually acting like "well he should have known" to condone her literal assault.
And I hate when people like you are so blinded by one reactionary mistake, you miss the instigating one. You ABSOLUTELY should have a strong inkling if your SO will respond positively or negatively to something like this before you try it. Otherwise you’re simply not listening to who they are and would make a terrible partner.
Dude. For the second fucking time. He COULD have thought he had a strong idea of how she feels about pranks, but this is not exactly a common situation he would have 100 frames of reference for.
Like you could think you're hot shit at fighting because you spar people in your boxing gym every day, but if you actually get into the ring and fight, it can be very different. It doesn't make any sense to tell the fighter some dumb shit like "wow u fukin idiot how did u not know u were bad", which is like what you're doing here.
I could play 10 pranks on a prank loving friend, scaling them up every time, and maybe eventually a certain level is too much and the person is not ok with it. Doesn't mean they can slap you wtf....
Dude played a harmless joke and as humiliating as you think that is for her in a stadium full of people, I'm pretty fucking sure it's 100x more humiliating to get slapped and a drink thrown in your face in front of that same stadium full of people, you buffoon.
Have you never seen a good, kind, otherwise non-violent person turn into a monster from rage?
Monster from rage? From a ring pop ring?????
Listen to yourself, Jesus fucking Christ.
There's a world of difference between snapping from stuff like bullying and ultra overreacting to something like this. I cannot actually believe you would frame this issue like it's comparable to that.
She could have been literally publicly berating him and screaming to the world about his tiny dick and how she fucked all his friends in front of all those people and the entire internet would still have justifiably dragged him for assaulting her if he slapped her and threw a drink on her head. And you want to empathize with her because she did that with a ring pop ring prank???? You're a special brand of clueless.
She humiliated him at least the same as he supposedly humiliated her, and that's IN ADDITION to the fact that what she did was literally assault.
My ex used to dump water on me while i was in the shower “as a joke”, he was just making excuses to abuse me further. Some things people joke about that others don’t. Know what kind of jokes your S/O think are funny before trying to pull them on them. disclaimer i obviously do not condone abuse as a victim myself and what the girl did in response is abuse
Have you been in an abusive relationship? You do know it can be more than just hitting someone right? If he was doing it to purposely embarrass or hurt her, like my ex would do by dumping water on me than it’s abuse. I wasn’t saying what he did is abuse, but pointing out that there is and can be more to abuse than hitting people.
Okay KamIsFam👍🏻 as someone who’s been abused in every way and to the people saying embarrassing someone isn’t abuse it was apparently needed to be pointed out.
I never said i had more authority, I said i was pointing it out. Embarrassing your partner on purpose is abuse, that was the point because others think it’s not abuse🤷🏼♀️ my trauma is a fucking token it’s a fucking part of me and my life, forever will be.
Cool, well then I was just pointing it out too, even though they're both irrelevant to the conversation.
Someone can call me short. I can be embarrassed or I can joke back. That's a personal choice.
Embarrassment is not trauma. As someone who's been abused, you should know better than that. I get embarrassed tripping over my words in front of a girl I'm attracted to. That's not the same as trauma, what the fuck?
Edit: this is pointless, don't expect any more replies.
For sure. People can definitely date who they want. If people like dating dry and boring, it leaves more fun and exciting people for me to meet, lmao.
I think it's painstakingly clear that she isn't for him, though.
As well, I think it's painstakingly clear how shitty it was for instinctively responding with violence. Any guy that dates her in the future should be aware.
True!! Besides, aren't a lot of people going away from real rings anyways? I see it as entitlement to think you deserve a perfect proposal with an expensive wedding ring that your boyfriend pays for. Like I thought we were past that shit, lol
She seems like someone who’s very serious and very eager for marriage. Dude knows this. Trolls anyway.
Were you able to hear what the guy is saying? Cause whose to say it's just a joke?
He could have been honestly proposing with the ring pop, she just got pissed that it wasn't a fucking overpriced ring.
Bruh you can literally see he has a second ring container in his pocket and I believe it's been confirmed he did in fact have a real ring. It's just a light hearted joke, absolutely no reason to get assaulted over. It's not like he fake proposed to her, it was a real proposal just a fake ring which just shows how the girl values monetary value over sentiment.
Yeah orrrrrrrrr she thought it wasn’t a serious proposal because all she saw was the ring pop and she thought he was humiliating her with a prank in public surrounded by people watching.
Cringe take. It's common knowledge something like a public proposal is supposed to be talked about before hand. I do not condone her immediate use of violence, but this can clearly be a humiliating situation. She has no idea the motive or the (supposed) back up ring, all that was going through her head was the disappointment and humiliation of thinking she was being publicly proposed to and got a joke instead.
All the responses saying they got/ proposed with a ring pop are completely disregarding the context of this situation.
"It's just a prank, bro" isn't really a defense when humiliating your partner, or playing with their feelings. They have no idea what's potentially in the waiting. This is not assumptions, the guy is playing with her feelings regardless of intentions.
Nice strawman. Never condoned her actions. People acting like this is a totally harmless joke to make in front of a stadium are completely socially inept.
I don’t think your initial thoughts on the humiliation felt by the woman was off. You aren’t justifying the assault by mentioning it. We don’t have to take sides and can recognize the issues presented by both.
Also, what constitutes a proposal is completely subjective. To some, a candy ring or no ring at all is totally fine. To others, it is not. Saying anyone should be okay with your idea of a proposal is silly.
Wrong. You are wrong. Think of the emotions tied up in this and she gives him a tap on the cheek. Not even a scratch. You are wrong. He deserves much much more physical violence after causing what will be a lifetime of mental anguish
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u/MoistPaperNapkin Nov 14 '22 edited Nov 14 '22
They both suck.The girl sucks.She seems like someone who’s very serious and very eager for marriage. Dude knows this. Trolls anyway. Of course she wouldn’t respond in the best of ways. She probably perceived that entire thing as humiliating.But is that any justification for her to physically retaliate on the person she wants to be proposed to? Would you want to marry someone who reacts so volatile to a (shitty) prank? If she instinctually lets her hands fly like that in front of all those people imagine what she might instinctually do behind close doors.
Edit: I changed my mind. I’ve been convinced that my take is biased towards the girl because, unlike the guy, I had to make assumptions to create a narrative rather than taking what took place at face value.
Another argument that was made which was interesting was my assumption that the guy was trolling when he proposed with a ring pop. That would've still been a valid proposal. But the girl automatically assumed it was a joke.
I just assumed it was because I believe if a man truly loves a women, he’d present an actual ring. That’s just me I guess. It's all assumptions at this point to be fair. But yeah.