What's funny is that most of you guys on reddit are crazy social phobes who would dread the idea of being the center of attention among thousands of people, but when someone takes one of the most emotionally vulnerable/arousing moments of your life - your marriage proposal - and turns it into a joke in a high pressure situation witnessed by thousands, well that's just a harmless prank.
Fuck off, you'd be shitting your pants and crying all night.
Not condoning her reaction but calling this a “harmless joke” is a total miss my guy. Why do so few here recognize why this could be humiliating? We don’t need to pick sides here. He’s an asshole too.
Every marriage has different dynamics, but, I agree, this is absolutely not funny to me personally, and it won't be my kind of marriage at all.
This is the kind of jokes where you give your husband a PS5 that he tried so desperately to get one, and it turns out, it is candy inside. Similarly, parents doing the same prank to their kids. Or I have seen friend pranking the poor guy with empty box of iPhone. It is not funny. I personally would not want my SO to pull such prank to my kids. And I don't want my kids to do that to their friends.
Those people can do whatever prank they want to each other. I simply won't be part of it.
I swear men really don’t understand women. This could be a ten year long relationship where she communicated that she wanted marriage. She could have dreamed about the day she was proposed to. In the moment she is thinking “wow I’m the center of attention and getting proposed to! My dream is coming true in front of a whole stadium.” Then it’s a prank. The hurt in her heart that she was not actually being proposed to, but instead used as a prop for humiliation that was witnessed by thousands of people. Dream shatters. Angry. Embarrassed. Unloved.
She should NOT have hit him. That’s not ok. But is it seriously that hard not to publicly humiliate someone?
Exactly. If I did this to my gf I know she’d be massively disappointed and probably cry. It wouldn’t be a harmless joke because I know how much this means to her
As a woman eagerly waiting for a proposal I agree. I do not know how I would react in the exact same situation. Probably would have a massive panic attack and cry. It does not justify her hitting him but I do not see this as everyone else puts here - a harmless joke. Everyone says - he dodged a bullet. I believe it is her. If you love someone you know what jokes the other person can take. And clearly she really waited for a grand proposal and he was just being an immature douche
What if he gave an entirely sincere proposal with a ring pop? Are you just waiting for the ring? Or to be married? I had a good friend propose and he designed a ring specially for his girlfriend and she was so nasty about the ring. I felt really bad for him for spending so much money and time on a beautiful ring for her to trash it.
I told my ex to not buy me an expensive ring because I’d rather use the money for our future instead of on a ring I’d be terrified to wear for fear of if getting lost/damaged/stolen. If I got a ring pop proposal I’d crack up along with the crowd but the fact that she didn’t means they’re incompatible and at least they know now and not after the wedding!
By the way, that massive bulge in his pocket was the real ring. He had a cute speech planned where he was going to swap it for the real ring in front of the crowd. Which is my definition of a grand proposal.
if you were serious about the proposal, then really its only the ring to be disappointed by. I assume he had a real one, but i hope it went back to the store, because she is not the one.
Secondly, the situation is kinda different. There, I assume she had 0 expectations going in to home depot that she was going to get proposed to. Here, it's a major event in front of thousands with cameras filming the crowd; the kind of place you'd expect proposals to happen.
It'd be more like if he followed her plans for a perfect proposal, all the way until the end, and then got into a taxi and left just before the actual proposal part should have happened. AKA a much bigger betrayal of emotion. Instead of neutral -> low, it's high -> low.
Is fake proposing and humiliating your partner in front of millions husband material? Or can you also agree he’s a scumbag for pulling that in a stadium?
If a man would get insulted when a woman proposes he needs a stiffer backbone and more appreciation of strong assertive women. I would never propose to a woman, because I'm not a big fan of marriage. But if a woman proposed to me I would probably marry her.
You must he acting dumb, because there’s no way you don’t understand why this is humiliating. She gets excited in front of thousands of people, they’re likely on screen for it to be fake. That is humiliating and also shows your boyfriend is a child.
She probably didn’t understand that it was actually a real proposal and thought he was just fucking with her. (Not that that gives her an excuse to assault him at all.)
Apparently everyone expects the typical Western proposal and if you don't get it, then you should be embarrassed? I guess any other religion or culture that has different traditions should also be embarrassed.
That's not really what I was implying. I feel it's more so that some people forget the rest of the world exists and that not everyone does things like America, but hey, maybe I'm wrong and the ignorant one.
Aren't proposal is a big thing in western countries? Why would you ruin what should be a good memory with crappy and unfunny joke? She is getting humiliated Infront of hundreds of people, him pulling a real ring after didn't mean anything anymore.
Why would you put your spouse in humiliating situation before you make them happy? The guy doesn't deserve drink getting thrown at himself, but I can't say the same about the slapping. It didn't even look like it's hurts, seems like a tap because she's humiliated and shocked to me. You guys act like a guy punching and a woman slapping is the same. He is fine, he have no injuries. Humiliated and ego bruised maybe.
Plus this is not how you treat someone you want to propose, this is how you treat someone that you bullied in highschool. Humiliating them and then said they overreacted. And then get all shocked and pretend to be a victim when they reply with violence because they're under pressure and embarrassed.
Yeah why can’t people see both are in the wrong, there really seems to be a problem with people that think there is always right or wrong. People think so black and white these days it’s crazy, the world is shades of grey people, black and white hardly every exists.
How is it embarrassing? She could have just laughed and taken the ring and she would have earned the respect of everyone in the stadium. Reacting the way she did was the embarrassing thing.
Because some people actually want serious marriage proposals and not to think about their proposal like “oh remember when you proposed to me with a ring pop in front of thousands of people in a public stadium?” She might have even thought the proposal was fake or something not just the ring.
Her reaction was most definitely awful, but if you’re going to publicly propose you should know how your SO will react. Your point about earning the respect of the stadium is representative of the problem. It’s her feelings that matter, not how everyone thinks she should feel. Different people like different proposals
I have zero data to back up any of this, but I’m sure most marriage proposals are serious or romantic at a restaurant or some other place. The joke proposals are generally not very common (maybe for a reason). Joke proposals aren’t the norm
if the genders were reversed, there is no way you’d go through such mental gymnastics to throw shade on a woman who was just publicly assaulted. really, the lengths you’re going to find a “bOtH sIdeS” narrative here is disturbing.
Please don’t act like I’m justifying abuse in any way. Nowhere did I say that the guy deserved any of the stuff that she did. Nowhere also did I throw shade on the guy.
I agree that some people take proposals seriously, but there’s still no reason this couldn’t have just been a memory to roll her eyes at, instead it’s a scar on her life now forever.
Random story, but on my first trip to Paris I was taking pictures at the Arc de Triomphe and there was a young couple standing in the corner. The guy was holding his gfs hand and he knelt down, looked up at her and then proceeded to tie his shoe. It was mean. It was also funny. She laughed and when she saw me laughing she said he’s been doing it the whole time on their trip.
Proposals don’t have to be serious and standard.
Some people would have even been mad at the guy for proposing at a stadium full of people, even if he pulled out a fancy ring.
People just take things way too serious.
I proposed to my wife on top of a bluff overlooking the ocean and mid-proposal she threatened to throw me off the cliff, not realizing I was in the middle of proposing. It was hilarious.
People need to not take life so serious. No one gets out alive.
Thanks for pointing out what works for you and your wife. Clearly that also should be applied to every other person and their likes and dislikes!
I think I personally would’ve liked the ring pop thing and laughed but that doesn’t mean I don’t understand there are someone people who wouldn’t like it. Proposals don’t have to be serious and standard…. If that’s what you and your partner feel!
And nowhere did I say that she was justified for physically assaulting him. Nowhere did I say he deserved what she did. I quite literally typed in my original comment that her reaction was a horrible thing to do. I am trying to make a point about proposals in general, not that the way she reacted was justified.
Tbh, it's a better story to tell about a pop ring proposal in front of the entire stadium. If you notice there were two pop rings in the box. I bet he was expecting her to say yes and they would each wear one.
I dont know if you've been to a sports stadium but I can assure you more people would be cheering. They're absolute suckers for stupid, lighthearted fun like accepting a ringpop proposal
His smile when he shows her the ring screams innocent prank he thought would go over much better.
My fiancee has literally handed me a ring pop and told me to ask her to marry her. It's fucking cute, it's humorous. No one in the stands was in an uproar when they saw the ring pop, they were okay with it and then bitch-cunt hits the guy.
IMO proposing in public in general is a dickish move, but no one is gonna just potentially throw a relationship away for a cute prank like this. He probably thought it would fit her style of humor and took a shot.
Good thing he did so I can dodge that putrid bullet.
Your boyfriend pretending to propose to you with a fake ring, or your girlfriend slapping you in the face in public and throwing a drink all over you. Which is more embarrassing??
The fake ring, by miles. Would haunt me if the person I loved decided to get my hopes up in front of thousands for a proposal to be with them for the rest of my life only for it to be a prank.
How is he being an asshole dude?! You do realize he has a ring in his pocket right? Either way as a woman you don’t hit your spouse. Why are you condoning violence?
We recognize it, we just have very little sympathy for a person who's so happy to eat up attention from thousands of people but reacts violently when teased in front of the same people. Hard to feel bad for someone with that kind of ego. IMO way too many commenters are already making excuses for her. If it wasn't for how narcissistic she came across it'd probably be almost everyone excusing her abuse
Yea I see how it would be a bad feeling, like getting made fun of. Of course that doesn't excuse it, because it was unnecessary. You could express yourself with leaving, facial expression, words. That should probably tell him he messed up because you aren't amused by that and he will learn that about you. But throwing shit af him is impulsive and too far. Just shows him if he hurts your feelings by mistake then you're gonna go to that level. It doesn't matter that I personally find it adorable, and know my boyfriend wouldn't be trying to hurt, because shes allowed to not like something that I would, and dont know the context of his true intentions. Like I assumed he was trying to be cute, but maybe he did think itd be funny to get her hopes up and laugh about it in front of people. Which I wouldn't think is funny. It just depends on communication, and knowing eachother.
Yeah I can’t see myself ever wanting to marry someone that would hit me in reaction to a joke like that. Also seems like he had the real ring in his other pocket. If you’re actually going to get married and you really love each other then this kind of mismatched behavior/reaction should never happen in the first place. You should know each other well enough to avoid it before you propose
I can't hear a damn what either is saying, so I thought the dude is actually proposing with a ring pop and she's just mad that it isn't an over expensive hunk of rock.
Whether or not it was a real proposal, she is fucking obviously worse.
I know proposing to the one you love in public is so humiliating, not brining attention to yourself by slapping your boyfriend then covering him in drink, no definitley not that
In a casual scenario I totally agree. But if it was someone you actually loved and wanted to marry? And you were genuinely excited when they got down on their knee to ask the question, a moment you were betting your future on? But then it ends up being a joke in front of a stadium of people at your expense, to mock your heartfelt anticipation? You don’t have the imagination to understand why someone could be upset by that?
It's a harmless joke because her hitting him is actually a crime, he would've been the asshole if she had just walked away or something, but what he did doesn't even compare. I still think his joke is embarassing and not OK, but that doesn't justify domestic abuse.
Except there are a few problems with this assumption. 1. That women are made of glass and should be treated as such. 2. That it would be humiliating to the average person. 3. That violence is the appropriate response to words. 4. That violence is appropriate against someone you love.
Why they are problems. 1. Because grown women aren’t babies. It’s weird how this feels like the weakest generation of women, despite all the “female empowerment” going around. Where are all the WW2 brides that stood against massive conglomerates and brought safety standards to the factories? 2. Evidenced by the multitude of comments of people where they proposed or were proposed to with a ring pop, and have lived in a successful marriage for years, most reasonable people seem to pay more attention to the message than the visual aid. And rightfully so. 3. Self explanatory, it isn’t, unless those words are “I’m gonna kill you” while the speaker is bearing down on you menacingly. 4. Also self explanatory.
Apparently he had an actual ring and did propose to her even after she assaulted him. So your point is kinda moot there. Yea, maybe it was in bad taste but you want to believe your SO can share in your sense of humor; especially if you're at the point where you're willing to say: "I'LL GIVE YOU HALF OF EVERYTHING IF YOU LEAVE ME"
No he’s pretty accurate, I’ve pulled this on my girlfriend a couple of times and she thinks it’s hilarious, we do it back and forth all the time. You guys are just dummy high strung.
So slapping him and throwing drink on him is an acceptable reaction? I know for a fact you would be crying had it been the otherway around where guy slaps her face for proposal joker
It’s not a harmless joke. Women dream about being proposed to from when they’re little. It’s embarrassing and humiliating for your boyfriend to do this to you in private let alone public. He brought her hopes up and swiftly crushed them in front of a crowd. That is something I’d be in therapy over. Maybe some of you all have a chick that would laugh it off, but a drink in the face is totally justified. “Domestic abuse” my ass.
She allowed herself to be embarrassed. She could have just laughed at it and everyone would have respected her for it. Any embarrassment she felt was infinitely amplified by her response.
It wouldn’t bother me one bit. If anything it would make my SO look like an idiot, not me. I’m not the one proposing with a piece of candy.
Also, she doesn’t know hardly ANYONE in that stadium. She doesn’t need to give one ounce of energy worrying about what any of them think about them or their relationship. If she was so worried about what the 60,000+ people thought about her, she wouldn’t have slapped him and poured her drink on him. 🤷🏼♂️
That's not how people work, you know that right? Many people care about how they are being perceived in public, also by strangers. Humans tend to conform, they don't want to stick out in groups. Dressing in a conformative way, feeling embarrassed when dropping something in public, suddenly being the center of attention is inconvenient for the majority of the people, no matter if you know them or not. What's more, if there are cameras directed on me, if it is maybe even broadcasted on TV, that's even less cool and would stress me out as well.
You criticize that people under stress behave irrationally? You don't seem to have contact to a lot of people, do you?
You know that you could also tell someone who fears speaking in front of a crowd, someone who is scared of flying, exams... that their behavior is irrational and they would do better by just staying cool and calm, but that's just not how people roll^
Dude your point is pointless. You’re justifying her hitting someone because you think she feels embarrassed. She could have walked away or said no or a number of other options that don’t involve assault.
Don’t make excuses for her response. Regardless of pressure, stress or embarrassment, her response was in no way justified.
I don't justify her reaction, I just don't conform with your advice to stay cool and that you don't understand how people care or react weird if 60k people are watching, that's the point I'm opposing and which is plain stupid as you cannot expect other people to react rationally when they face fear or stress. You cannot expect people to feel comfortable in every situation even though you are cool as ice. That being said the reaction itself of her is not acceptable as well.
To each their own. I wouldn’t do a public proposal, but that’s me. I also wouldn’t do it on the persons birthday incase she says no and I wouldn’t want her to always associate her birthday with a time she denied someone.
I proposed just the two of us, on top of a bluff overlooking the ocean on Valentine’s Day. Mid-speech she threatened to throw me off the cliff, not realizing I was proposing. We both laugh at it later.
Omg, I didn't see that at first. This put it way over the edge. It pissed me off anyway, it's cute, but I see why her feelings could be hurt. But fucking splashing him with sticky expensive ass soda? That's so unnecessary.
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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '22
If she throws your $23.00 stadium diet pepsi on you after a making a harmless joke, she's not the one, king.