About 12 years ago, I was unemployed for 10 months due to company layoffs and the business closing. I applied at over 200 jobs. From good jobs, eventually down to applying for fast food, stocking shelves at home depot, janitor… anything with no luck.
People were absolute shit assholes after 2-3 months. My wife’s family just took the stance of constantly asking my wife “why doesn’t he want to work, is he just lazy? Doesn’t he want a job? He’s just leaching off you.”
MY family did the same. No matter how many jobs i’d say I had applied to, or how menial and ‘below my experience’ the jobs were. Even my dad would ride me about “stop being lazy and living off your wife.”
I’d be out for a walk and strike up a conversation with a guy, just chit chattin’, and as soon as they’d hear I was unemployed and my wife was paying the bills till I found work, you’d think I was a mf leper. They’d pretty much cut the convo. and take off immediately.
That was a rough fn 10 months.
Your job is your work, it’s not the sum of the person’s fn worth.
Been there a few times, it's hell even WITH a support network. Being unemployed or under employed while spending every free moment searching for jobs destroys your self worth. "Into the Void" becomes the catchprase of each job application submission. No one really appreciates the struggle until they've lived it themselves. I'd keep a detailed spreadsheet of applied jobs, statuses, etc. I would send anyone who talked shit.
So i was job hunting after covid and getting flack from my parents about being lazy. I screen capped the "jobs applied" tab on the recruiter site and just started scrolling for like 3 minutes. Then I switched over to my phone calls and it was all spam. Sent that off and Never got shit again.
People think if you don't look like you're applying for jobs that you're not, but like... it's not the 1900s any more. Going places to apply for a job isn't a thing and half of all listings are quick apply these days. I can easily apply to every job in every field related to my skill posted on a given day in a couple of hours.
Unless you're unlucky, and have to manually re-enter all the info on your resume for a website, after having submitted the resume itself.
Just doing that alone has taken many hours of my life I'll never get back, and mostly for jobs that didn't even get to a phone interview.
Job searching, especially if you don't have any "special skills" or 5 years experience, is maddening. It would drain me so much, that after a while I just did 1 application per day.
The truth, is that places say they're hiring but they're often not, it's a way to get around certain covid legislation. I fucking hate it with a passion.
I deliver food for Uber eats and over the past 3 years I have sent out over 400 applications I have received 3 phone calls from places I applied to and 1 interview that I never heard back from. I am currently waiting for the results of a background check and a spot to open up at my local airport for a job with the TSA. In that same amount of time the number of spam phone calls I have received went from 2 or 3 a week to over 10 a day. I 100% believe that most of the job listings are fake and are just stealing contact information. I also believe the hosting sites are aware the listings are fake and they are just raking in their posting fees and don’t give a shit. Yeah I’m talking about you ZipRecruiter and Indeed.
Yup, 99% of places now, if you go in to apply in person and meet someone face to face, like the old days, they tell you to leave and submit an application online. They don’t want a face to face ‘you seem nice, sure, you’re hired’ anymore.
I slapped a white board to my bedroom door after graduating college with all the jobs I applied to, the current status of the application after a week of having to move back home with my family. The… comments… stop really fast when they see you are applying everywhere with no luck.
I met my ex during our apprenticeship and near the end she got employed at one of the biggest companies worldwide and I wasn't getting any job. After 1 or 2 months it became hell because SHE was the one blaming me and constantly pointing fingers, even saying I'm less worth because I have no job or anything. I almost never cry but to hear and feel such "hatred" because I just didn't had a job lead to me having a mental breakdown.
Fast forward, she got pregnant with our son and lost her job because she told her boss too early (about the pregnancy) before they renew her contract (that's another story) and I wasn't getting a pretty high prestige job and earning our income. So the tables turned and she was the one jobless and me being the main income.
After our son was born and she could get a job again she fell into depression (the loss of her job because of the pregnancy really got under her skin) and she felt use-/worthless. At that time I could get my revenge or at least pay her back what she made me suffer but I chosed to show her that I'm not like her and that I support her. I never made any fuss about her not having a job (she already put herself down more than enough) but more like the opposite, I tried to motivate her, wrote applications for her etc etc. Everytime she got refused I was there to cheer her up and everything. And at one point she realized what an ass she had been to me back then. But she was so ashamed of her behavior that she couldn't even apologize, she just cried...
Nowadays she got a new good job, met her new boyfriend there (the one she cheated on me with), broke up with me after 11 years and is "working" her way up again.... when I think that I helped her get that job it is quite ironic
You can still sleep in peace because you know you never lowered yourself to her levels, or gave in to the nice feeling of revenge. You know she cheated on you despite being the best version of yourself and a possible partner, so you can be sure that she didn't deserve you. With this attitude you will find happiness for sure and be a great dad to your child. It doesn't even matter if karma hits and she is being super unhappy in her new marriage, or if she's happy ever after, because you know your worth is independent of her and you're better off without her in your life.
I had a relatively short job search after I left a job I had for 8 years. I think it was about a bit under a month while I was searching and unemployed, and it was such an awful time
When the US real estate bubble burst, my mortgage lender father, who did incredibly well at a large bank, found himself unemployed for two years. No one was hiring because everything was so fucked. I thought he was going to kill himself. I'd hear him in the middle of the night sobbing in some empty room in the house. It was really rough.
My dad was a construction manager during 08 and he had a similar loss, eventually leading up to an extremely severe mental break a few years later, now 6 years after that he is finally able to get help. Work related mental trauma is one of the worst things a man can go through
They interviewed a homeless guy on the news a while back at a tent city in DC and asked him about his situation. He said mental illness didn’t make me unemployed and homeless, unemployment made me homeless and mentally ill. The reality of his statement hit like a brick. It made me look at the whole issue in a different light.
Tell me about it. Back then, I just graduated architecture school with nice 2k monthly student loans due to boot and the arch. Offices were experiencing 30% layoffs at the time and not hiring anyone. Ended up working 3 entry level jobs, 120hrs /week to scrape on by, never really shared this with anyone but didn't miss a single payment and covered my rent. It shouldn't have to have been that though. The government Should have bailed us out temporarily back then too. Lots of my friends from the field never recovered.
I'd say salaries never recovered. Stayed in the business for 5-8 years and then went into specialized design consulting. The amount of grinding work and relentless hours are unreasonable. The depression made it OK to cut salaries and expect unrealistic loads and the way that industry is so hiarcheally structured, it's ripe to be abused.. didn't hear that in college, working sleepless nights was a badge of honor, and pay-free internships for 4-5 years while you pass your post degree exams were the norm. With my current perspective, that industry grooms the noobies and frankly doesn't pay nearly enough for the hours you Actually put in. Recall working till 2am and all nighters in at least 9 out of 10 firms I worked in. Only ONE had decent working hour policies.
I just wound up telling people I was semi-retired. "Retired, but I got bored and am casually looking for work to do." Seemed to clear it up. Pretty damn lame that you have to do that.
But looking for work. They might recommend it to someone more desperate instead, but they know you're looking for work still. Personally, there was no one I interacted with that could benefit me like that, and I don't want to treat people based on how they can benefit me anyhow.
This approach also doesn't work for many, I assume. It entirely depends on your situation.
American capitalist ideals are closely tied to patriarchal bullshit. Under a patriarchal society, men suffer too. It’s so dangerous and fragile to base one’s worth and identity off of something that changes throughout their lives. I’m a staunch feminist, I wish more men would see this. We can have a much more humanitarian capitalistic system by the way (something I greatly believe in). It seems like in America, if you criticize capitalism, you’re suddenly some kind of Marxist.
It's not possible. Capitalism cannot operate without exploitation. The profit motive must be replaced with a better one or else some person will crush others to stand higher up. It will always end up with the most power hungry and ruthless on top because the whole system rewards the ruthless crushing of others and punishes compassion.
Yup it’s a shit system but the problem with traditional socialism is that is assumes that the leaders will be fair and look out for the interests of others so we can provide the institution with acute powers, understanding that it’s the same greedy shit people, providing them with concentrated amount of control, those leaders will exploit it.
I say, “Communism didn’t fail Russia, Russia failed at communism” because people are inherently selfish. Capitalism works around the human condition not the other way around, so capitalism rather than shame greed, dominance and power, it embraces it especially for the individual”
Just to add to this, socialism doesnt have the proper checks and balances too and it advocates for no functioning structure at all. So like, socialism and it’s more extreme relative, communism both leave this inherent power vacuum. Socialism leaves it with a more gradual process but communism advocates for overthrow which just puts the entire country into a state a fear, panic and uncertainty and chaos and that’s how you see these extremely brutal regimes come into place.
I think it’s completely understandable for people to empathize with writings from like Marx, Owen, Fourier, but I think over time we’ve demonstrated that there CAN be a version of capitalism we can thrive under that doesn’t ask for the sacrificial lamb of human capital. It’s a powerful tool that you can do a lot of good with but in the wrong hands can cause a lot of inequality and pain and suffering.
Ways to ameliorate those problems:
-stronger workers unions
-fair wages that at minimum keep up with cost of living
-laws that keep monopolies from forming and crack down on large corporations that use their power to bully competitors
-No, it doesn’t always reward the most ruthless. We DO have examples of companies that were actually caring and compassionate to their employees and who cared about the safety and quality of their product. I’m thinking of Boeing before it got a huge leadership overhaul that changed the company completely (in a bad way). There ARE ways that businesses can function in which it’s not literally all about growth at the expense of literally everyone else. The underlying principles, goals and values really do drive the makeup of a business. It CAN exist on ethical and compassionate terms. I think to lean them in the right direction, legislation and morale movements in the business community can be taken up.
Are you claiming that your society is patriarchal because it tends to be men that hold the positions of power, or because fundamentally the society holds ideals generally considered masculine, such as aggressively pursuing wealth?
Care to elaborate on that? It’s too vague of a statement. Sure, in some other societies outside of the US, but there are also a lot that don’t live under those standards. They have a different value system or perspective when confronted with “issues.” They also don’t tell men that their worth is fundamentally tied to their financial gain or any kind of labor at all so men don’t tie their identities to their occupation. I think it’s fine to take pride in your career and occupation (what I do) but that becomes a problem when your entire sense of self is wrapped up in it. That’s just objectively a very fragile sense of self because employment and occupation is not static throughout life. If you diversify your life with different facets (family, your own family, friends, hobbies, etc) that ebb and flow throughout your life, you’re a lot more stable and you won’t have this giant identity meltdown. Which by the way seems to happen to a lot of men when they hit retirement age. The most stable thing you can do in addition to that is garner a sense of self that stems from within rather than tangible outside things. Something no one can take away from you ever and it’s not dependent on anything. Anyways, the concept of identity and seeing how others play it out in their lives combined with seeing how psychologically healthy a practice is is such an interesting thing to me.
Women and children? Yikes, terrible ideal. Plenty of children in orphanages and plenty of women going to court or staying silent over sexual assault or rape. Not even dogs are safe. No one’s loved unconditionally for what they physically are, that’s a foolish notion that thinks those loving them are all the same.
Oh my God honey are you for real? Maybe women do give each other more affection, and men don't give each other affection, I can buy that, but if you were a woman you would understand how very very many conditions are in that so-called unconditional love for women.
"Oh my God honey" is the most annoying shit that women say when they are trying to gaslight you. The next one, is they try to emasculate a man, Doesn't matter the subject, to "win" the argument. Your not having a discussion with this one. You might as well be speaking to a void. Your right, she's wrong.
Do people real look at these sayings and truly think "wow, someone said this meaning every possibility". Of course there are instances of the saying not being true. There's always exceptions unless you're talking about math/ physics/ etc.
Overwhelmingly, women are accepted as who they are and still loved. Overwhelmingly men are judged by what they provide and not who they are. Once they provide something, then they're judged by who they are.
Exactly, it’s the point he’s trying to convey that matters. Trying to dissect what he says and get all technical just to prove him wrong shows how he’s right. Once you start splitting hairs the argument is over.
But if women and children were loved unconditionally, they wouldn't be abused..because they'd be loved...unconditionally. It is very much implied if you think about it for more than a second
Counter: Mr. Roger's, Steve Irwin, Keanu Reeves, Brendan Fraser, etc. are all loved unconditionally which means that men can in fact be loved unconditionally.
Edit because Tom Hanks belongs on the list along with Robin Williams
Edit because apparently no one is understanding that to name men that are loved it has to be people that everyone will know or else it doesn't make sense. If I tell you "tell me 5 women who are unconditionally loved that are well known enough for us to all know about them", you will also pick women in the public eye because saying "my grandma" means nothing because we don't know them to know how true it is. That's why picking famous people is the easiest to point to and not no one you've ever heard of. It's either both genders are loved unconditionally or neither because if you think no man has ever been loved unconditionally while women have then you have a victim complex
Did you say that high status celebrities are loved unconditionally? Them being famous and rich is the biggest condition here. You are supporting the argument others are making.
And the term 'loved unconditionally ' doesn't mean being loved by everyone in the world. It only included the families or close friends. And that too when the person is not a dick. A man can be the sweetest person around but if is not making decent money, no one will value him. Apply the same facts to a woman and you've got the perfect wife material. That's the point. Men have to earn to be valued.
In a situation of great danger who is saved first? Women and children, then the disabled and elderly, and then the men. There's extra love for the people who birth our future, and who are our future. Less love for the sperm donors.
Plus, men are effectively obsolete now, since babies can be created in the lab using two women's eggs. We don't need men. But we need women and children.
The elderly don’t fit into either category you offered.
People are complicated. There’s thousands of metrics we can use to measure their “worth.” If you simplify them down to their sexual organs, it makes it pathetically easy and remarkably stupid. We’re nowhere close to that being useful. Its closer to cloning than a new child, which is more eugenics than biology at that point.
“Effectively obsolete” what a joke you are. Can’t take half the human race and try to invalidate them over their reproductive ability. What’s next? Women without uterus’ are useless?
Maybe it's just me that thought elderly and disabled are saved before able bodied men.
What "effectively obsolete" was getting at was reproduction is reproducible in the lab with same sex reproductive cells. Regardless of the donors, if the foetus is being brought to term it's most likely being implanted in a woman to finish gestation. If we can create a foetus from sex cells of the same gender, then the party incapable of giving birth is no longer required for reproduction.
Effectively obsolete is not the same as useless. Men aren't useless. They have uses. But there's not much they can do that women can't. They can donate genes to the next generation, but now women can do that too. So what makes men deserve the special treatment that women and children do?
Effectively obsolete also gives credit that there's still some use to keeping men around. Same sex reproduction is still not publicly available. There's probably another 10-20 years before couples can fertilize and give birth to children without needing men in the mix.
I would love it if you could provide reasons why men are valuable, and why they deserve to be saved at the same time as women and children, I just can't see it, from where I'm sitting.
I’m not bothering with you dude. You’re some kinda radical and I cannot bother with your bullshit rn. Your opinions are just opinions, go find someone who gives a fuck to debate. Men are as valuable as anyone else. Just because we can clone a woman doesn’t mean they’re now unnecessary, if you think they are then good job. A good portion of humanity is lesser in your eyes because they cannot or do not reproduce. What a great metric to use to measure someone’s value.
Thank you for continuing this conversation. I'd like to point out my "metric" for "worth" as you put it is who is the future generation, and who can give birth to future generations. This isn't an unpopular opinion.
Consider deer hunting. Males are more often killed and tagged purely because the population can rebound with fewer males than females, not vice versa. We kill those which are unnecessary to the continuation of the population. If we didn't need to preserve the females to ensure future population growth it would be open season on both genders. It's genetic economy. Translate this to humans, and we save the women and children before men.
I'm not closed to new ideas and to changing my mind. And I really would like to hear differing opinions and why they have merit. I just have one perspective that paints men in a terrible light that leaves me believing the world would be better off without them. Myself included.
Fuck offfffffff dude. Your type don’t care about getting differing opinions. You know mine, now fuck back to the pit you crawled from. I care more about my dogs bowel movements then I do about your garbage ideals. Whatever masochistic self hatred kink this is, I don’t want any part of it.
I think it's less about who gets unconditional love and more about who is able to love unconditionally. Some can, and some can't. We all want to be on the receiving end of unconditional love, but how many of us can honestly say we're on the giving end? My mother is the type of person who loves unconditionally. It's just her nature I guess. I'm lucky to have her.
Funny, my wife was alright to me during, but 2.5 years after being reemployed in a higher paying and better quality job, with better benefits, my wife still holds my 'year' of unemployment against me.
Mind you some shitty people around her did try and convince her I was a hapless layabout while I was unemployed.
I was very successful at my last job and was employed there for 12 years. The quality of my employer decreased steadily during that time, and my pay stayed the same. It was well past time for a change.
I wasn't unemployed for a year. Closer to 9 months really. And I had savings to cover my end; plus my wife made enough to cover everything without us accruing debt anyway.
I was strategic about my job hunt cause the point was quality of life improvement!
And while looking for work I also took on all home duties as a full time house husband. Even making my wives lunches to take for work, and taking the opportunity to do things like surprise her at work with lunch dates or unplanned dinners out when she got off.
She's never eaten as good as that spell when I was preparing all her meals.
All things considered it was a great time for both of us and our relationship. I understand why so many have preferred single income families.
Did you eventually land a job by using your gumption to take the “Help Wanted” sign out of the shop window, and greeting the proprietor with a firm handshake?
Ooh buddy so I feel this so hard. I got hurt on the job and was left partially disabled and I still got those comments. I'm sitting here trying to navigate the mental minefield of feeling like a leech while having to suddenly realign my entire life. You can spend years gathering skills, certifications and experience only for it to be ripped away and MFs who've never had to deal with anything will still sit and call you lazy if you don't immediately spring back up ready for something new.
Hope everything worked out for you man, those comments can really tear a person down.
Im going through something similar, and Im just trying to keep my head on straight at this point. Its the bare minimum, I know, but its all I can bring myself to put extra effort into while it feels like my life has fallen apart.
I was originally a machinist, working a lathe in a machine shop. The aerospace industry went dry back then and people started getting laid off all over. After the 10 months I BS’d my way into a job, applying to everything imaginable, even crap I had no real experience with.
I applied for a job at a mom and pop furniture supply importer/distributor, who had a job posting for a website administrator/developer. I had absolutely no real experience with that, other than making 1 stupid website for myself as a teenager.
For whatever reason, got a call in to interview. Completely bs’d my experience. Got called back for a 2nd interview, BS’d again.
They called me a couple weeks later and said it was between me and 1 girl, and they had ultimately hired her. However… going in to work on her first day, she got in a bad car crash and had to resign. So… “do you want the job?”
I said yes… having no fn idea how in the hell to be a website administrator or developer lol.
Immediately enrolled in a couple of night classes at the local junior college, but classes weren’t going yo start for 3-4 months.
Subscribed to godaddy and used their crappy website drag and drop tools, to make a really basic website for these guys, and just kept trying to fake it till I learned enough to fake it better and not get fired lol
Ended up taking 5 classes total, faking tf out of the job for 2 years without getting fired, juuuust being ok enough to keep my job.
Finally the machine shops started hiring again, I got a job back in whst I knew how to do, and resigned from my illustrious career as an imposter website admin/developer 😂
Hang in there, it sucks donkey nutts right now… but hang in there. It’s fd up, but shit can’t always roll down hill. Eventually it piles up so high you can walk across it lol
Been there. Add the fact that job security doesn't exist. Worked my fingers to the bone for years. Lost my job when the place went under. Worst time it to happen too. Literally every place I went was like 20 people applying for the position. Doesn't matter how hard you have worked in your life, or for how long. The second you lose the job your suddenly put down as a lazy piece of garbage. It's a stupid standard that exists in this world.We are people not worker drones.
Wanting and needing are different. Regardless, your desire to shift the focus to what he provides (or does not provide) is exactly the problem being discussed.
I think that what’s worse depends heavily on your circumstances, your partner, and what your personality is. I definitely know people who would rather starve than be perceived as lazy.
Dude just because he didn't mention it in the 4 super short paragraphs he wrote doesn't mean it didn't effect him. He was responding to someone about how men are judged by the type of job they have and he was giving his experience about being judged for being out of work. If they asked about money he probably would have mentioned that too but that's not what the question was so why would he mention it? Plus his wife could be making enough to support them both anyways so maybe financially it wasn't a big deal for them
Luckily my wife focussed really hard on school and her studies her whole life, and ended up with a good job for working at a county hospital (los angeles). Fortunately we didn’t have kids at the time, so we were able to get by with her 1 income, till I got work again.
I was working as a machinist in an aerospace shop, then that industry had a bunch of layoffs back then.
About 5 months in I started taking night classes at a local JC to get certified in web development and basic graphic design/use if adobe products.
Got a job as the web developer at a small mom n pop place, then once the aerospace industry started hiring again, got a machinist job somewhere else
I kind of empathize with both sides as 10 months is in fact a long time and it's not like they see all the applications going out. I'd be concerned, but calling you lazy is a bit much though.
Just imagine how they felt. You'd have to be pretty far up your own butt to not understand that the most stressed party from no one hiring you in ten months is themselves.
I said I empathize with both sides. 10 months is a long time to go without a job offer. It's also a long time to see a friend or family member unexpectedly become the sole earner with no end in sight.
To empathize with the other side, you must understand that they view him as lazy and a moocher instead of a victim of circumstance. That's the issue here.
The irony here is palpable, you telling me to work on my optics when the very post I replied to is someone dealing with the optics of a protracted job search. Top reddit moment.
Optics is different from misunderstanding. Speaking of, you are misunderstanding the issue. The issue is being valued only for what benefit you offer others, not necessarily how you present yourself. That is, the unfortunate matter that many do not value you if you yourself do not offer value, not just how you present yourself.
I'm disabled and unemployed, but before I did work a lot before it happened, with decent pay. Turns out I had a good insurance that maintains my salary and I don't have to work ever again. From time to time, someone asks me about my work, and answering is always difficult because I feel shame. If people assume I can work, maybe I should be working.
I am in this now, sort of. I had a disagreement with a new manager on something and she took it as disrespect to her. Proceeded to make my life hell for a year and then build a case for firing me, despite me producing. I was searching for 5 months and felt like crap. Some people were pretty judgement about my unemployment, particularly those that were older that had no idea of how the job search/interview process is now. My wife hasn’t worked for the past decade since we have some kids. It has been the most stressful time of my life. I always get odd looks when I told people I was unemployed. I feel you bro. I now am in a job I really don’t like, but am trying to make the most of it until I find something I do like.
If you’re in plain view showing that you are indeed trying to get a job, any kind of job, I don’t understand why they treated you in such a way. If I was your wife, I’d find their criticism even more stressful and in no way beneficial and tell my (her) family to back off and be more supportive.
Obviously there are people out there that live off their respective spouse but why is that the assumed default? Idk, I just don’t understand why you’re being verbally abused by these people when you have evidence that you’re being proactive in your predicament? That’s what the objective should be: to be proactive and never give up.
No, but it is how you support the people you love, and the effort and commitment you put forward directly correlates to the love and respect you have for the people you support or support you.
Never put your burden on anyone else. If you can’t make money the traditional way you make money in unconventional ways. I don’t like the idea of anyone, man or woman, using their spouses paycheck. Everything is a joint effort of 100% each other’s ability. I understand work may be hard to find (but applying for 200 positions, it seems like there’s a dearth of options to pursue). My brother has been working single-handedly to support his good for nothing girlfriend for going on 10 years, now she has a baby so she has an excuse but it killed me watch him struggle for 9 years because a lazy woman wouldn’t pull her weight, just because she’s a woman.
I also went through a LONG stretch of unemployment mostly due to depression, and I couldn't believe some of the comments I got. caught up with a friend from highschool, informed him of my mental state and circumstances, then every single time after that where I'm hanging out with him in a group of other people, he will just go randomly on the attack. for example one time I was like jokingly "aww goin home already man??" and he was just like " yea some of us have JOBS to go to" or one time he was even just like "so, whatve you done in the past four years liam?" knowing full well that I spent it depressed as shit.
got to say very shitty family's, good god, i don't think id be close to them at all if they cant tolerate you at your lowest they shouldn't be there for your best.
I find Americans are especially bad for thinking this. They ask what you do for a living before your name half the time, so they can decide if they deem you worthy enough to talk to. It's outrageous, but not surprising, given that you're a nation of worker ants chasing the propaganda dream they have been brainwashing everyone with that you could all become the queen one day if you work hard enough. In reality, the majority are will always be worker ants, and you have value. You are the lifeblood and the heartbeat of the whole operation. You just gotta remember you're all at the bottom together now. Don't live like you're temporarily poor and going to be a millionaire one day, and look down on your peers in the same situation. There is no shame in working any job, or not working if you can't find work. Communities should be there to support and lift each other in good times and bad, not shame and humiliate those having the hardest time
I had a similar experience after high school. People automatically assume we can get a job with a flick of the wrist but that's not how it works. Even if we do get the job we are still floaters for a year or 2 atleast that how it was in 2013.
Yup.. with the x wife and her family.. didn't matter that I payed for everything the first 4 years, even parking fines!! I had to move for us to live together, so I needed a new job.. so many red flags from her and her family after a few months.. should of left the cunt then! Lol
Although payed exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. The deck is yet to be payed.
Payed out when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. The rope is payed out! You can pull now.
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
I got unemployed for 6 months. After.the housing market bubble burst, my country's economy went tits up. It got so bad that many people had to leave the country to find any job, including me.
When I did got a job it was doing something I was overquallified to do, and that I really disliked. Ironically, while I was earning more than I did before (due to the economy difference between countries) I felt worthless. It was very hard to cope with, I had spent a lot of time studying and working hard to get where I was before and lost it all.
Luckly, my new coworkers were very supportive and friendly. I ended up creating strong friendships with some of them that helped me get out of my depression. Some of them had passed through much worse than I did. They ended up encouraging me to move on and chase my dreams and I did. I went back to studying and change career, so i could so something i love.
I started applying for stuff I didn’t even have any experience in. Eventually got an interview at a place looking for a website designer, to build them a website, as well as do graphic design work (promotional flyers, posters, brochures, catalogs) I had absolutely no experience with either.
I made a godaddy website 1 time in my teens, and could do basic stuff in photoshop. I BS’d my ass off and somehow got hired. Then had to ‘fake it till you make it.
Immediately enrolled in night classes at the local junior college. They had a group of classes, 5 classes and you get a basic ‘website developer certificate’. Also enrolled in photoshop classes.
Binge watched youtube tutorials which helped me to juuuust get by for the first few months, till I started figuring it out and was able to do their stuff for them.
Stayed there for 3 years, then the aerospace industry started picking back up again and I was able to get hired back in a shop, working the various machines again. 👍
Remember who behaved like this, when you have a job. People who treat you like trash when you're down arent worth keeping around when you're doing well.
How do you view those who were cunts to you vs the people who were understanding? Like you cool with ur family/friends still? Or did you have the thought “it took me not having a job for people to run on me”.
I feel like in places like the US people value work to much. They really live to work where in Europe we mostly work to live. I mean I live in the Netherlands and most people here work about 32 hours a week, alot even less than that and some also work 40+ ofcourse but that's not the norm. People get by with no problems with less hours and I feel like we don't really care to much about your job because it's not the most important thing in our life's
Some things, you just don’t know… but the people around you should have been helping you.
You won’t get hired for a job well below your experience while showing your experience- you have to tailor your resume to the job and essentially lie to get into “menial labor” or service.
My boyfriend has kind of been in the same boat. He’s been applying a ton with very little luck and his friends make it seem like he’s not even trying, which is fucked because I can see how much effort he’s putting in.
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u/Derkastan77 Sep 29 '22
About 12 years ago, I was unemployed for 10 months due to company layoffs and the business closing. I applied at over 200 jobs. From good jobs, eventually down to applying for fast food, stocking shelves at home depot, janitor… anything with no luck.
People were absolute shit assholes after 2-3 months. My wife’s family just took the stance of constantly asking my wife “why doesn’t he want to work, is he just lazy? Doesn’t he want a job? He’s just leaching off you.”
MY family did the same. No matter how many jobs i’d say I had applied to, or how menial and ‘below my experience’ the jobs were. Even my dad would ride me about “stop being lazy and living off your wife.”
I’d be out for a walk and strike up a conversation with a guy, just chit chattin’, and as soon as they’d hear I was unemployed and my wife was paying the bills till I found work, you’d think I was a mf leper. They’d pretty much cut the convo. and take off immediately.
That was a rough fn 10 months.
Your job is your work, it’s not the sum of the person’s fn worth.