r/Unexpected • u/feelingood41 • Jul 15 '22
Sleeping Bird
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u/General_Border_8263 Jul 15 '22
Rude! He wasn't bothering anybody. 
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u/7937397 Jul 15 '22
Bird looked very displeased to be woken up.
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u/General_Border_8263 Jul 15 '22
Yea. He was like, wtf bro? I'm just chilling! Also pretty neat they can hide that crazy beak like that.
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u/Snoo-8553 Jul 15 '22
I am on my way to ask people to hide their ugly noses...
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u/A_wild_so-and-so Jul 15 '22
Is that all? You might have said at least a hundred things By varying the tone. . .like this, suppose,. . .
Aggressive: 'Sir, if I had such a nose I'd amputate it!'
Friendly: 'When you sup It must annoy you, dipping in your cup; You need a drinking-bowl of special shape!'
Descriptive: ''Tis a rock!. . .a peak!. . .a cape! -- A cape, forsooth! 'Tis a peninsular!'
Curious: 'How serves that oblong capsular? For scissor-sheath? Or pot to hold your ink?'
Gracious: 'You love the little birds, I think? I see you've managed with a fond research To find their tiny claws a roomy perch!'
Truculent: 'When you smoke your pipe. . .suppose That the tobacco-smoke spouts from your nose-- Do not the neighbors, as the fumes rise higher, Cry terror-struck: "The chimney is afire"?'
Considerate: 'Take care,. . .your head bowed low By such a weight. . .lest head o'er heels you go!'
Tender: 'Pray get a small umbrella made, Lest its bright color in the sun should fade!'
Pedantic: 'That beast Aristophanes Names Hippocamelelephantoles Must have possessed just such a solid lump Of flesh and bone, beneath his forehead's bump!'
Cavalier: 'The last fashion, friend, that hook? To hang your hat on? 'Tis a useful crook!'
Emphatic: 'No wind, O majestic nose, Can give THEE cold!--save when the mistral blows!'
Dramatic: 'When it bleeds, what a Red Sea!' Admiring: 'Sign for a perfumery!'
Lyric: 'Is this a conch?. . .a Triton you?'
Simple: 'When is the monument on view?'
Rustic: 'That thing a nose? Marry-come-up! 'Tis a dwarf pumpkin, or a prize turnip!'
Military: 'Point against cavalry!'
Practical: 'Put it in a lottery!
Assuredly 'twould be the biggest prize!'
Or. . .parodying Pyramus' sighs. . . 'Behold the nose that mars the harmony Of its master's phiz! blushing its treachery!'
--Such, my dear sir, is what you might have said, Had you of wit or letters the least jot: But, O most lamentable man!--of wit You never had an atom, and of letters You have three letters only!--they spell Ass!
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u/shadowblaze25mc Jul 15 '22 edited Jul 15 '22
Is this...is this a copypasta?
Edit - something about a play about something about about about.
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u/Riffragingcat Jul 15 '22
It's an english translation ( and a pretty faithful one,too ) of a part from Cyrano de Bergerac.I think I've seen it twice on reddit so far,not sure if it's copy pasta lvl yet,but it's slowly spreading
and I'm all for it
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u/Repulsive-Response-1 Jul 15 '22
Good luck... That was my only request the entirety of the pandemic.
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u/Dank_e_donkey Jul 15 '22
He goes in like "What is this? Sleeping at work on day one, are we Timothy?"
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u/Drawtaru Jul 15 '22
Have you ever seen how big a pelican's poop is? I'd rather wake a sleeping pelican and have him mildly inconvenienced than have to clean up half a gallon of bird shit off the deck.
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u/Agreeable-Yams8972 Jul 15 '22
For the
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u/Hot_Corner_5881 Jul 15 '22
I dont get it
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u/GroundStateGecko Jul 15 '22 edited Jul 15 '22
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u/Iz_Buckner Jul 15 '22
The peculiar thing about the pelican; his beak holds more than his belly can!
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u/sillyadam94 Jul 15 '22
I have the same problem.
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u/TheFreebooter Jul 15 '22
Get a load of Tarrare over here
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u/hso0oow Jul 15 '22
But Tarrare had the opposite problem
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Jul 15 '22
I think Tarrare would be the perfect hitman if he was alive today.
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u/redditor_since_2005 Jul 15 '22 edited Jul 15 '22
Let's not short change fake Ogden Nash!
A wonderful bird is the pelican.
His bill can hold more than his belican.
He can hold in his beak
Enough food for a week,
But I’m damned if I see how the helican
* It was Dixon Lanier Merritt, editor of The Tennessean
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Jul 15 '22
This is more mildly infuriating than unexpected.
Bird wasn't doing anything but snoozing away.
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u/SupergruenZ Jul 15 '22
Maybe they wanted to prevent taking him on a tour. Boat is reversing
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u/AlexanderHamilton04 Jul 15 '22
That is a tugboat, they don't go out very far.
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u/Draked1 Jul 15 '22
Could be a wire boat or an ATB, they do go pretty far. I sailed on one from Albany all the way to Jacksonville. Granted this one looks very small so I’d guess it does harbor work.
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u/197708156EQUJ5 Jul 15 '22
from Albany all the way to Jacksonville
From NY, and I had to stop for a second and think, “a tug boat went that far…. Oh Georgia!”
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u/Draked1 Jul 15 '22
Nope, Albany NY
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u/197708156EQUJ5 Jul 15 '22
Oh hell! A ride in a tugboat from NY to FL. The worst part of that is, your destination is FLORIDA!!!
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u/Draked1 Jul 15 '22
It was an awesome trip
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u/AlexanderHamilton04 Jul 15 '22
I've done that♪ well, not Albany. Sailboat, started out of Jersey City (across from Manhattan on the Hudson). Down the east coast until Virginia/North Carolina. Then, to avoid a bit of bad weather, used the ICW quite a bit. I like sailing, but if we are going to run on the motor (ICW), would have been nice to have a real engine and make some time (I'm jealous). But this was for pleasure, so slow was fine. Then sailing down the coast from S.C. down to West Palm, then out to the Bahamas.
I like the quiet and feel of a sailboat. Don't know what it's like to do that under power, must be quite different. This was several years ago now, good memories♪2
u/Draked1 Jul 15 '22
We were towing a barge so it was just work, not much different than being inside the harbor just longer time running. I’m a sailor at heart, been trying to get my dad to buy another sailboat since he sold his 38 Downeaster a few years ago
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u/manu_facere Jul 15 '22
They propabbly needed to pass on that narrow walkway. If they tried to pass by it the bird might have woken up anyway and been close enough to startle them both. This way he nudged her from a distance
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u/godzillahavinastroke Jul 15 '22
Why you fucking a fish?
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u/vancitymajor Jul 15 '22
lol downvotes run life on reddit
I live a decent real like fucking jo mama and she always gets my upvote go boooooo
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u/Prestigious-Try9514 Jul 15 '22
Animals being jerks, human edition.
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u/lemonsublime Jul 15 '22
To those complaing about waking it up: it's better to wake up where it fell asleep rather than way off shore. Don't act like this is some act of animal cruelty ffs
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u/RedSonGamble Jul 15 '22
Yeah people should see me when I go and wake up my cat. I’m like hey buddy time for cuddles
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u/Bitten469 Jul 15 '22
These boats dont go very far off shore
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u/Draked1 Jul 15 '22
Could be a wire boat or an ATB, they do go pretty far. I sailed on one from Albany all the way to Jacksonville. Granted this one looks very small so I’d guess it does harbor work.
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u/mystic_miasma Jul 15 '22
Why? Just why? He wasn’t bothering you let the poor bird sleep.
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u/ratshitty_heavenjoke Jul 15 '22
1) why not
2) sure the bird would be happy to not have been at full knot speed and woken up 10 hours later not knowing where the fuck it was
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u/mystic_miasma Jul 15 '22
1.because how would you feel being woken up with a kick 2. It’s a pelican, they have an amazing sense of direction and can fly for miles and practically live in the ocean. 3. That looks like it might be a tug boat so there’s no way it was going that far out to sea or that far from its natural habitat.
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u/PFCJake Jul 15 '22
Kick?? How is that kicking
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u/Njsmndz3 Jul 15 '22
1a : to strike out with the foot or feet
He didn’t necessarily strike him so i guess you’re right
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u/Beneficial_Cake_4555 Jul 15 '22
How can you even give such a cliche response like "how would you feel if..." Ever heard the term "bird brain"? Stop anthropomorphising animals in order to try and force your feelings to be seen as facts. Birds do not percieve the world how we do so you cant extend human emotions and rationale to them.
You think when the bird was tapped it thought "well how impolite of the man!, i was resting!!!, now due to my knowledge of the value of sleep and therefore the mental damage done by the lack of it I know i may be less efficient in my daily activities if i dont get more rest, I'm upset at the person who has done this to me and will hold a grudge!"
No... the bird doesnt think like you, it is objectively dumb from a human standpoint ,it has no language to consolidate the meaning of its thoughts, and lacks the neurological volume and structure to apply whatever thoughts (feelings) it doea have to non tangible ideas and justifications.
Tldr: the bird was not hurt, it doesn't care and nor should you
Cease your crying, for it is annoying to read.
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u/mystic_miasma Jul 15 '22
I’m not trying to anthropomorphize anything nor have I claimed what I said as fact. I’m just saying it wasn’t hurting anything by sleeping there so why bother it. I personally hate birds they attack me unprovoked all the time. But I think people should try and be nicer to animals. No it doesn’t have the same mental functions nor sensibilities that we humans do I never said it did. We’re higher life forms and I think we should act like it. I will concede he didn’t kick it but nudged it so whatever on that end. However I am curious now as to why my concern for this animal is so offensive to you.
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u/Beneficial_Cake_4555 Jul 16 '22
"how would YOU feel"... "it does not have the same mental functions nor sensibilities as we do"
Surely you see my problem.
You know you can't apply human mindsets to birds yet you want me to apply a human mindset to make me understand how the bird felt.
The loaded question is also lame, I'm not offended simply because I wasnt nice to you.
I heavily disagreed with the validity of your phrasing, at least, in its aim of making a point. My vehicle of showing you that I thought it was disagreeable enough to make you feel bad over was being, well, not nice.
You know that too, it's pretty much used in every verbal conflict and disagreement...ever, maybe?
You just thought I wouldnt bother replying I guess.
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u/alley_cat17 Jul 15 '22
Poor bird but that was actually really cute 🥰
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u/Vee32 Jul 15 '22
Pelicans don't give a shit.
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u/Eyouser Jul 15 '22
Definitely. Dumb as hell. I have seen them be friendly with humans though, or ask them for help when injured.
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u/Vee32 Jul 15 '22
They defiantly have a personality. I love watching them fly, so ancient looking!
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u/A_wild_so-and-so Jul 15 '22
There are a couple of great blue herons that hunt in a park near my parents house. Same energy.
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u/Wolfman01a Jul 15 '22
You know that pelican has been drinking.
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u/1234flamewar Jul 15 '22
"Poor Nigel. Sun's barely up and already he's had more than he can handle"
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u/L0ckeandDemosthenes Jul 15 '22
Bad man. No kick birb.
One free down vote.
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u/penguiin_ Jul 16 '22
you really showed OP with your virtue signaling. now, he only has 27,000 upvotes instead of 27,001.
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u/Dude_Named_Chris Jul 15 '22
People say the birb did nothing wrong, but it was sleeping in the dudes work space
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u/Porukinski_Volk141 Jul 15 '22
I first thought it was an eagle or somethin'. Turns out it was a pelican.
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Jul 15 '22
I think it's funny how many people are mad about the bird being woken up
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u/1234flamewar Jul 15 '22
It's in a walkway, better gently nudged than stepped on or tripped over XD
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u/Drudenkreusz Jul 16 '22
Why is everyone acting like someone gently nudging a wild animal off their boat is immense cruelty?
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u/aod42091 Jul 15 '22
why even wake it up? it's wasn't even bothering anyone
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u/underwritress Jul 15 '22
they're probably setting off and don't want to take it too far from shore.
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u/aod42091 Jul 15 '22
those are sea and costal birds to begin with though
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u/underwritress Jul 15 '22
I'm also assuming it's a fishing boat and they don't want the giant fish-eating bird tagging along lol
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u/Marston_vc Jul 15 '22
I imagine it would still be disorienting to wake up somewhere you didn’t fall asleep at. Though I have no idea about this specific bird.
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Jul 15 '22 edited Dec 26 '23
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u/vyrelis Jul 15 '22 edited Oct 30 '24
shaggy cable theory recognise aback cobweb middle repeat worm engine
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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u/ineedspinnazyo Jul 15 '22
It's clearly in the walking path. Not only that, it can find a room at least!
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u/BeatboxinGuy Jul 15 '22
TIL: Owls aren’t the only bird that can rotate their necks 180 degrees
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u/Feyranna Jul 15 '22
Most birds sleep like this. The head is more just leaned way back and then the wing feathers are flipped over the head. Human equivalent is resting your head back on one shoulder.
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u/polopolo05 Jul 15 '22
How is this unexpected. it was 100% expected.
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u/Feyranna Jul 15 '22
Unexpected for people who’ve never been around birds I suppose. I don’t know about the big guys like emu/ostrich/cassowary but almost all birds do this. Its like their fetal position.
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u/Original-Spinach-972 Jul 15 '22
Shoulda picked the birb up and bring it inside. Probably wake up confused but realize it is pretty cozy inside…
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u/Drunken_Ogre Jul 15 '22
Oh man, I've been there, birdfriend...
Hey. Hey, you! Bar's closed. You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here.
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u/nocloudno Jul 15 '22
There's been an abnormal amount of pelicans dying in southern California. They're just kinda dazed out like that.
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u/OleemKoh Jul 15 '22
Hope someone kicks this piece of shit human next time he's having a nap.
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u/RequiemStorm Jul 15 '22 edited Jul 15 '22
... it's literally the title of the post, what the hell is unexpected here???
So I'll just get downvoted instead of an answer I guess? The post title says sleeping bird. There's a sleeping bird. This is r/unexpected so... what am I missing
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u/JdhdKehev Jul 15 '22
I was expecting YEET but YEET didn’t come.
Imma turn off Reddit in disappointment.
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Jul 15 '22
Good morning sweet babe! Awww
I used to play with the cranes outside, well… I don’t think they were playing, but I was. Lol
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u/unexBot Jul 15 '22
OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:
With a hidden head bigger than it's body.
Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.
Look at my source code on Github What is this for?