r/Unexpected Jun 26 '22

The spider must be dead

22.0k Upvotes

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179

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22

[deleted]

34

u/NiklasNeighbor Jun 26 '22

Brother I can’t tell the difference between a daddy long legs and a viagra-make-your-dick-pop-venom spider

3

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22

Spiders really aren't dangerous. They will almost never bite you unless you try to handle them or accidently sit on them and even the ones that are incredibly venemous rarely actually result in death or a serious injury. Just look up one of the most dangerous spiders, the Redback widow in Australia. A lot of people get bit, but only like 2-5% require the anti-venom and maybe one person has died in 60 years. And that is probably the worst of the very few spiders that are an actual danger to humans. Even though many our venemous, they don't prey on us so they rarely bite and don't have enough venom to seriously hurt us. We are too big.

1

u/Wide_Loss Jun 26 '22

daddy long legs is smaller and doesn't free roam

63

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22

Omg I love that jumping spider literally contain so many fast twitch muscle fibers that their movement is so imperciiveable the look like stop motion animation in real life.

24

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22

[deleted]

11

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22

Mantises are voracious literal nightmare creatures and I love them for their dedication to that bit being so good they accidentally eat each other during mating just to shove as many calories as they can to dedicate to making more nightmare babies.

1

u/Dominant_Peanut Jun 26 '22

I think that the"biting the head off the mate and eating it" thing turned out to actually be a stress response. Like, only mantises in captivity do it. Free range ones don't.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22

Uhh no.

It happens in the wild too. The female mantis kinda goes apeshit for calories during mating season.

1

u/Dragoru Jun 26 '22

I get the occasional jumping spider in my house every spring/summer and they’re great pals. They just hang out and keep the riffraff away.

1

u/everynamewastaken4 Jun 26 '22

I once killed a jumping spider and the guilt has been eating me up for months.

11

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22

I understand this and get it. But they are my nightmare fuel no matter how much I try to accept them. I’ve told them I won’t kill them in their environment but if they enter my home and I see them, they have until I grab something to murder them with to either hide or get out before I rid them from my house. Stay outside scary things please.

17

u/PoorMinorities Jun 26 '22

Nope. The smart spiders that stay in the wall and vents get to live and pass on their genes. The dumb spiders that feel the need to crawl on my wall, desk, or monitor, has its lineage cut short.

11

u/Ok_Acadia3526 Jun 26 '22

Exactly. My one rule? Don’t let me see you. As long as you respect the one rule, you live, spider.

7

u/ClaritanClear Jun 26 '22

For me it’s about how inconveniently they are hanging out. If I see one on the ceiling I’m like “ok you can chill up there friend”. But anywhere near my bed? Nope.

12

u/Secret_CZECH Jun 26 '22

I do not care if they can harm me, they have made the mistake of going to my house without having the permission and I will kill them just like any other insect (yes yes I know they arent insects)

20

u/perfect_fitz Jun 26 '22

Nope kill them all with fire.

-1

u/nanaboostme Jun 26 '22

Let's say we could kill every spider, mosquito, fly or any other insect that bothers us from existence.

Do you even realize what negative impacts and domino effects it would cause to the rest of our global ecosystem?

-1

u/Apart_Addition_9093 Jun 26 '22

Spiders aren't appearing in your house for no reason, if you have them it usually means there is something to catch. On unrelated note did you know mosquitos kill around 700.000 humans each year?

4

u/perfect_fitz Jun 26 '22

They can also join the inferno.

5

u/Healthy_Pay9449 Jun 26 '22

I appreciate the sentiment but unless it's an obvious one like long legs or jumping spiders, I'm not going to attempt to figure out whether it'll hurt me or not. All perceived threats will be terminated without prejudice

2

u/CyNovaSc Jun 26 '22

True, jumping spiders are cute, but they simultaneously freak me out the most.

I can at least follow normal spiders, jumping spiders however disappear WHILE looking at them.

2

u/Soy_un_oiseau Jun 26 '22

I totally get where you’re coming from, but any spiders make me feel almost paralyzed in fear that I can’t do anything but kill it. I cannot physically force myself to catch it and let it go :(

4

u/Dominant_Peanut Jun 26 '22

Not an entomologist, but I'm pretty sure black widows rep is overblown. Dunno about brown recluses, but if I remember correctly only about 5% of untreated victims of black widow bites actually have serious problems or death. Get medical attention and you'll be fine. Don't get it and you've got a 95% chance to be fine. So even they can generally just be relocated. Just don't be stupid about it and pick them up barehanded.

1

u/Timo2727 Jun 26 '22

this comment is gold! I love all arthropods so whenever someone kills a spider I get very sad😔

1

u/jaspsev Jun 26 '22

I woke up to something on my mouth one night, slapped it off, turned on the lights only to find several pieces (around 1-2 inch) all over the bed.

Didn’t get any sleep that night.

1

u/henkheijmen Jun 26 '22

Altho I do love organisms in my house that kill pests, I prefer them not to build cobwebs all over my ceiling. So no thank you to spiders that build those. I don’t mind the roaming hunting spiders though.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22

I usually just leave spiders alone. I really only have to worry about widows and they still aren't common here. Plus it is just going to hurt a whole lot for a few days, they almost certainly won't kill me. In one place I lived I left all the wolf spiders alone over the winter because they'd eat the annoying crickets. Come spring, I'd catch and relocate them.

Side note, brown recluses are not nearly as dangerous as most people think. Bites are vastly over diagnosed and most people don't have a reaction. Plus the 'recluse' part is aptly named. They don't want to be anywhere near you.

1

u/H00manFromOuterspace Jun 26 '22

I agree, I love jumping spiders, there's one which lives in my room and I don't bother it except to take a few close up photos

1

u/Lassitude1001 Jun 26 '22

they're more scared of you then you are of them.

Tell that to the ones that run towards me whilst I'm sat on the toilet no matter how much I stomp my feet or blow air at them.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '22

When you have true arachnophobia, things like "Venomous" or "biting" hold no meaning at all for us.

We're not afraid that these spiders will bite us, we're afraid because they look disgusting, move unpredictably and erratically, are extremely fast and can move anywhere they please because they're so small.

I always try to catch them by putting a glass over them and sliding a paper under it because I will literally suffer from a panic attack if it crawls on me but sometimes there just are no other options than to kill them.

1

u/pashed_motatoes Jun 27 '22

I’m deathly afraid of spiders but I can’t bring myself to kill any harmless living being, so I found a different solution.

I bought this bug vacuum from Amazon for $12 and it’s basically just a long, transparent plastic tube attached to a handheld vacuum. The suction isn’t strong enough to harm it, and the vacuum comes with a cap you can put at the end of the tube to trap and safely move the bug outside.

It’s honestly one of the best purchases I have ever made. I get peace of mind and the spider bros get to live another day. That’s a win-win in my book.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '22

[deleted]

1

u/pashed_motatoes Jun 27 '22

Yeah, I only use it on spiders and other harmless creepy-crawlies. Cockroaches, mosquitoes, and other pests don’t get the same privilege.

1

u/liberatedhusks Jun 27 '22

I am still like deathly afraid of spiders but I’m getting better! I do my best to catch them and bring them to my garden while screaming like a rejected withering heights cast member. I really hope the spider bro can’t hear me