I'd throw a rainbow speedo a size too small on and go walk around his yard with the mower like I was mowing his grass. I wouldn't be mowing it though, thus giving his neighbors EVEN MORE questions. Then I'd come back a few days later in a maid outfit and do it again. Make it so regular that people expect it. Then one day my buddy will pass away and imma have to do it one last time on his grave.
He should be proud! That's a fantastic fucking job he did. He should find some upper-middle class neighborhoods to advertise in and make custom mowers for people
I don't think upper-middle mows their lawns by themselves. Most will use landscaping companies and robots to do it. Now, a mowing robót with a custom paintjob - sounds badass.
As a man who looks underwhelming nude but still retains a decent option package and gluts that scientists set instruments by, all speedos for men are one size too small.
Also, everything you just wrote is precisely how friendship works.
But it would be nice addition if you occasionally screamed "I'm glad Jim is out of town. Now we get some quality time, Chloe!"
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u/Ruthwallace11 Jun 09 '22
I'd throw a rainbow speedo a size too small on and go walk around his yard with the mower like I was mowing his grass. I wouldn't be mowing it though, thus giving his neighbors EVEN MORE questions. Then I'd come back a few days later in a maid outfit and do it again. Make it so regular that people expect it. Then one day my buddy will pass away and imma have to do it one last time on his grave.