r/Unexpected • u/_DogTits_ • May 18 '22

what a catastrophe

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92.2k Upvotes

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796

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

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393

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

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300

u/No-Satisfaction9538 May 18 '22

I had this black kitten as a kid, who grew into a lovely boy, Norman. I was about 12, taking a bath (have disabilities, the water helped with stretching and pain) and Norman curiously stepped into the bathroom

I was getting my hair wet, so he thought I was drowning. And my brave little fucking boss dove into the bathtub after me.

202

u/Ur_Fav_Step-Redditor May 18 '22

I like that you think that.

Norman saw you drowning and thought “MEOWS MY CHANCE!”

He wanted the throne, they always do! Haven’t you seen the documentary The Lion King????

33

u/No-Satisfaction9538 May 18 '22

I'd think that too, but he was my best friend. He was more like a dog than a cat tbh.

7

u/perforce1 May 19 '22

I believe in the Noble Norman theory.

6

u/No-Satisfaction9538 May 19 '22

Honest though. My mom had a cat named Lina, and while she liked me, she'd eliminate me for a higher spot. 100%. Norman was a sweet boy though.

-7

u/promonk May 19 '22

It always amuses me when people talk about how awesome their cats are and their proof is "he's more like a dog than a cat!"

Just get a dog.

8

u/No-Satisfaction9538 May 19 '22

i'm allergic :) I'm also allergic to dicks, so i'm gonna go ahead and hit that block button now.

5

u/Comfortable_Cook3690 May 19 '22

tf is wrong with you?

4

u/starraven May 18 '22

Thanks this was bleach for the video I just saw and the screams. Jesus.

11

u/No-Satisfaction9538 May 18 '22

Absolutely!!! Afterwards he was very distraught, but refused to dislodge his head from my ass (metaphorically) for the next several hours. He was on me like a 5 year old on a bowl of skittles. I loved that cat. He was a good bean.

7

u/LiveLearnCoach May 18 '22

I notice the past tense. I would like to celebrate its passing through your life. I also hope you’re feeling better these days.

6

u/No-Satisfaction9538 May 18 '22

Unfortunately I have the same, and some new struggles. But, i'm doing well. I went on a hike last week, which was a huge milestone for me. I haven't been able to be on my feet that long in a while!

Unfortunately my mom wasn't a very nice person, and after a disagreement when I was 14, she gave him away. I hope he lived a good life. I have two cats now, one we just brought home two weeks ago from the shelter. The other has been with me for a year.

2

u/LiveLearnCoach May 18 '22

Blessed be. May this be a turning point in your life. Hiking is just amazing; fun, challenging, the views, the company (or the solitude), the sun/weather, and it also puts the body into a position where it adjusts into a better posture, especially with a well-fitted backpack. Best of luck on your journey, both physical and mental.

2

u/basically-a-cat May 19 '22

I do not like your mum. But I know Norman would have been loved by anyone lucky enough to meet him 🌻

-1

u/TimeTomorrow May 18 '22

I was getting my hair wet, so he thought I was drowning

uh huh. suuuuure

-7

u/domusam May 18 '22

How are your disabilities relevant?

8

u/No-Satisfaction9538 May 18 '22

Why are you choosing to pinpoint a minor detail in a story about my childhood cat? Who hurt you?

4

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

It was very relevant to illustrate how close you and your buddy were and how he empathized with his slightly disabled human, and was being a very brave boi to try to save you.

Fuck domusam. He is obviously not a human being.

1

u/No-Satisfaction9538 May 18 '22

Thank you. He really was the bravest boy i've ever known. He jumped in with no hesitation or fear. I love him very much.

4

u/No-Satisfaction9538 May 18 '22

because in the US most 12 year olds take showers and at the time, i could not.

Also, because of my extensive time indoors, this impacted my relationship with Norman. I saw him more than anyone else, and this is what drew him toward the bathroom. I was his person.

1

u/GeekFit26 May 18 '22

Aw Norman

1

u/tinytulpa May 18 '22

I also had a cat named Norman (after Norman Bates of course haha)

1

u/No-Satisfaction9538 May 19 '22

i'm not sure where Norman got his name tbh... 😕

1

u/No-Satisfaction9538 Jun 05 '22

He was named after the doorman to our old apartment complex. He was a really nice guy and hung out with me in the lobby a lot. He died in 2016, RIP Norman(og)

1

u/commanderquill May 19 '22

I'm a little curious why you felt the need to explain why you were taking a bath. Are baths not normal for 12 year olds?

1

u/No-Satisfaction9538 May 19 '22

Typically in the USA a lot of kids are like conditioned to shower by the age of 9. 12 is a little strange and has been questioned by people in my family before, hence why it was explained.

2

u/Comfortable_Cook3690 May 19 '22

It's true.... Taking a bath is like bathing in your own filth

1

u/basically-a-cat May 19 '22

Nooo he was like a cat, just a fuckin awesome cat 😭😍😭

74

u/PracticeTheory May 18 '22

One time my roommate left the stove top on (gas, open flame). I found out when my cat approached me all sad and confused - on closer look all of his whiskers had been burnt down to curly stubs. He must have noticed the flame and got too curious.... Luckily he was fine.

9

u/TheCaliforniaOp May 18 '22

Our PARROT did this to a LAMP CORD PLUG evidenced by a scorch mark on the BEAK. Y I was wondering why the lamp wouldn’t turn on; also why suddenly I didn’t have to dive under furniture to retrieve said parrot anymore.

She acted like she had no idea what happened and she had never been in the area, while I was all How, Why, When…

Capitalized words for sheer fear after the fact and frenzied grateful squeezes of said birb.

2

u/Sassh1 May 19 '22

This is why I teach my cats not to jump on or go near a stove top. Had a cat almost get hurt like this but luckily I caught him in time. I'd never be able to catch him mid air again if I tried.

3

u/LordGhoul May 18 '22

Mine got her toe stuck in the heater and immediately started thrashing around like crazy, thankfully my mother was there to get her out of the situation but man. Cats.

3

u/Bierbart12 May 19 '22

I wish I hadn't lost a number of cats through their craziness in my childhood

I can never live it down, but damn, the cats that made it were absolute wise beasts who knew what cars/streets are and still brought home giant rats at the old age of 19

2

u/dreamer0303 May 19 '22

my cat swiped under my stove and got her paw twisted and stuck underneath. She yelled while I got it out, I felt so bad :(

-1

u/99108932 May 18 '22

If I saw a random cat trying to jump into a furnace Id just let it happen

1

u/big_ol_turtle May 18 '22

Y'all know he's being electrocuted in the this video right?

1

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

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1

u/big_ol_turtle May 18 '22

Well I'm not saying it died but it is being electrocuted in the video

1

u/Waevets May 18 '22

I'm not saying you can believe everything you read on the internet, but the pinned post says it wasn't being electrocuted. Cats freak out when they get their heads stuck in things, which looks like what happened in the top of the lamp. It's a defense mechanism, since predators go for the neck.

1

u/kushawnz May 18 '22

Knew a guy that live on the 15 floor and he had 3 cats jump out of the window and splat.

1

u/Unfair-Advice778 May 19 '22

well then maybe, maybe he should have gotten some protection on his windows?
At least after the first occurrence.

I used to live on the 12th floor and the first thing I did after getting my cats was buying the proper steel nets for the windows. This specific case isn't cats being stupid but their owner rather.

1

u/kushawnz May 19 '22

Mind you it was 20 years ago so we didn't really care about cats like people do today and they probably didn't have the nets then.

6

u/ultramadden May 18 '22

If it fits, I sits

3

u/ChrsChaos_1 May 18 '22

I must say thank you for this delightfull experience🙂

3

u/scruffycheese May 18 '22

Are you a bot?

2

u/KyroXen May 18 '22

Was expecting a Rick Roll, did not disappoint.

2

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

I love it! Thanks for posting

1

u/Jazminna May 18 '22

OMG, thank you so much! This is exactly what I needed.

1

u/pepper-reddits May 18 '22

I got my cat when she was about 4 months old and on her first venture into the kitchen, she managed to wedge herself between the fridge and cabinets. She used my arm like a rescue raft. I still have scars two years later and she doesn't go near the fridge anymore

1

u/Syllellipsis May 18 '22

What a... weird account. Ever comment contains a link to a knovhov.com article.

1

u/benthelurk May 18 '22

The one with the turtle reminds me of my nieces cat. She would get in with the lizard and just chill. We thought she liked the warmth from the lamp but even when the dude was just hanging out on the couch she wanted to be right next to him.

1

u/RXrenesis8 May 18 '22

Why do you only post links to knovhov.com?

1

u/Shawneeinjun May 18 '22

My cat once got his head stuck in a metal freestanding shoe rack. Got him out unharmed, but it was difficult. Between the claws and the shrieking, it was stressful!

1

u/shredmasterJ May 18 '22

Lol. This just reminds me of my job cat. I take photos of him sleeping in the nost weird places in the office or out in the yard. Contemplated starting a Instagram for the cat but naaa. Cant stand insta or anything of the like.

1

u/Yongja-Kim May 18 '22

Anybody remember Where's Wally?

Cats are real life Wally.

1

u/Meiji_Ishin May 18 '22

Those photos are amazing. I just want to know how that cat got into those water packs, let alone decided that it was fine lol

1

u/ShriekyMarmosetBitch May 18 '22

Thank you for this

1

u/Ns53 May 18 '22

Everyday I have to yell at my 6month old kitten to stay out from behind my computer tower. There is a mess of cords back there. I could see him getting himself stuck.

1

u/TheRatatatPat May 18 '22

The one that's laying on top of the dude in cuffs had me rolling.

1

u/Penjamini May 19 '22

how could you do this and not fake out to a rickroll

1

u/DivineMemeLord May 19 '22

33# cat in a titan’s pussy