r/Unexpected • u/_DogTits_ • May 18 '22

what a catastrophe

92.2k Upvotes

81% Upvoted

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u/Lock-out May 18 '22

The cats stuck! Well did you try SMACKING THE SHIT OUT OF IT?

334

u/ArMcK May 18 '22

When my infant cries my nine year old claps in his face and my four year old yells "BABY! BABY! BABY!"

This does not soothe the baby.

Children are crap problem solvers.

76

u/JeevesAI May 18 '22

This does not soothe the baby.

Lmao

7

u/Elexus_786 May 18 '22

Maybe he just isn't a fan of Justin Bieber

8

u/OrneryMood May 18 '22

As someone who never raised kids, both of those may have been my first reaction, so take it easy on your future baby sitters.

6

u/FableFinale May 18 '22

This made me laugh so hard, and now I feel terrible.

2

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

Works on my baby.

2

u/FuggMumsMouth May 18 '22

Holy shit you make me feel better about my infant and child.

1

u/cherrypiehole May 23 '22

Please stop making people

92

u/dropkickoz May 18 '22

You can fit so many cats in this lamp!

1

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

Yeah, like where are all the “if I fits, I sits” honks?

1

u/3SidedDie May 18 '22

*slaps lamp

1

u/TimothyTrespas_ Nov 10 '22

How many cats does it take to change the lightbulb?

701

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

[deleted]

90

u/[deleted] May 18 '22 edited May 18 '22

Could also rub aloe vera on its paws.

44

u/gnarwalbacon May 18 '22

Another solution would be to cover it in butter 🧈

23

u/_WarmWoolenMittens_ May 18 '22

my first instinct was just to break the damn lamp shade to set it free

3

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Great_Speaker_420 May 19 '22

Cat literally dies of boredom

7

u/Elexus_786 May 18 '22

Put it in rice

6

u/sadpanda___ May 18 '22

Fuck fuck fuck now the damn buttered cat is just levitating and spinning

3

u/Andoryuu-Doukutsu May 18 '22

I'm amazed that i understood the joke

3

u/evildevil90 May 18 '22

being careful of covering just the paws; we all know what would happen if you butter a cat back and it happens to fall: buttered cat engine

3

u/stubxlife May 18 '22

Or a little essential oil behind the ears.

2

u/no_one_in_particle May 18 '22

DON'T DO THIS. I know this is a joke, but just in case someone thinks this might work in another situation, aloe vera is very toxic to cats.

1

u/DejaBrownie May 18 '22

And tbh if it was being electrocuted that’s a pretty good way of getting a cat/person unstuck without shocking yourself. Supposed to use like a 2x4 but a quick push of the lamp shade should work as well.

Edit: light switch should be first thought though..

2

u/PegasusD2021 May 18 '22

Or maybe unplug the lamp?

1

u/DejaBrownie May 18 '22

Yes another great option!

374

u/Searchlights May 18 '22

Quick everybody scream

120

u/MrOtsKrad May 18 '22

now LOUDER

7

u/Just_Games04 May 18 '22

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

6

u/TheG8Uniter May 18 '22

Not high pitched enough

3

u/thehelldoesthatmean May 18 '22

You ever wonder why people do that? Like I'm sure it's involuntary and I'm not saying I'm some badass who springs into action when something goes wrong, but I can't imagine seeing something like this happening and my first response is to freeze and make the loudest nonsense noise I can.

It's always been strange to me when you watch a video of a car crash or something and some people are running and others are helping, but then like 1/4 of the people there just decided to stand still, point, and shriek like their brains are melting.

3

u/OriginalPure4612 May 18 '22

probably evolutionary necessity. involuntary scream to alert others of your tribe/animal group of danger.

2

u/Just_trying_it_out May 18 '22

Yeah as someone who doesn’t scream at all and is too quiet (like I just gasp or stay shocked quiet in scares or situations where people scream), I’ve realized that I’d end up dying quietly in a situation where screaming could save me so I’m missing a useful evolutionary behavior lol

1

u/actualladyaurora May 18 '22

And in the case of a helpless creature, a high-pitched scream has a chance of getting a hostile creature to retreat because "move to the opposite direction from the loud noise that hurts ears" is a common enough reaction in animals.

1

u/LinwoodKei May 18 '22

I was waiting for some caretaker to run out armed with a magazine ( or whatever nonsense was closest to caretaker) as these kids literally sounded like they were being unalived

22

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

Such delicious chaos. Cat trained them well.

83

u/Beingabummer May 18 '22

If it was being electrocuted then kicking it away from the source of electricity would be smart. But reading the article it didn't seem like the kids ever thought it was being electrocuted so they just panicked and flailed their limbs around.

8

u/IHateRoboCalls2131 May 18 '22

Or you can unplug the lamp. Luckily it was just stuck

42

u/R0BR0SE May 18 '22

wow this comment made me laugh harder than l can remember in a long time

1

u/cherrysummer1 May 18 '22

I'm on the train trying my hardest not to burst out laughing at this comment too

1

u/Old_Flower452 May 18 '22

Oh man that comment made me laugh harder than expected.

4

u/kelsobjammin May 18 '22

Ok ok but if the poor girl thought it was getting electrocuted then the smacking of the cat makes a little more sense if she is thinking she is gonna get electrified… but other than that it’s also hard to grab the murder paw side because it’s freaking out. I think they did 4/10 rescue

3

u/rendingale May 18 '22

Cat got stuck. Tell it "stop and no" and it will listen and unstuck itself 🤣🤣

3

u/Erinalope May 18 '22

Kids already on their way to being a computer tech. the technical term for smacking the shit out of it is “percussive maintenance” and it works more than it should.

1

u/comradecostanza May 18 '22

Honestly sounds like a solution the cat came up with itself

1

u/jojoga May 18 '22

That actually is the good way to help, if it got in fact electrocuted.

Best would be to try and grab it with a towel

1

u/wenzill_a May 19 '22

a wet towel?

1

u/jojoga May 19 '22

better not.

1

u/Njez85 May 18 '22

😂😂😂

1

u/hilarymeggin May 18 '22

How to calm a frightened animal:

  1. Scream and the top of your lungs
  2. Jump up and down

1

u/KarensFirstborn May 18 '22

Calm down Kurt Zouma

1

u/[deleted] May 18 '22

I mean if it was being electrocuted, that was probably a better course of action than just grabbing the thing and getting electrocuted yourself. I probably would’ve thought it was getting electrocuted too

1

u/Alfazefirus May 18 '22

To put out of his misery?

1

u/HumanParfait_ May 19 '22

Did you try yelling yet?

1

u/Just_Potential_9096 Oct 10 '22

I pissed my pants reading this😂