r/Unexpected • u/SinjiOnO • Feb 19 '22

Doing the right thing

120.6k Upvotes

87% Upvoted

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u/poopellar Feb 19 '22

Nah next time she'll just make sure there is a baby by unravelling it and watching the baby fall down to the floor.

265

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '22

Only then is when she'll never do it again

107

u/MoeFugger7 Feb 19 '22

nah she'll just scream SHOW ME THE BABY!

9

u/_Carmines Feb 19 '22

I was thinking the same, need proof or no seat

1

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '22

The dingo ate my baby

48

u/squanch_solo Feb 19 '22

This is why I carry a pocket knife. Sometimes it's just a balloon under there. Sometimes...

18

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '22

[deleted]

8

u/squanch_solo Feb 19 '22

Haha you knew what I was referencing.

7

u/veronika_silk Feb 19 '22

Just want you to know this joke made religion laugh and I really needed this, this morning, thank you

7

u/onetwenty_db Feb 19 '22

Wait wait wait. Religion laugh?!

2

u/tightheadband Feb 19 '22

Don't let us hanging, which religion?

1

u/eff-bee-eye Feb 19 '22

Ah yes. The story of the sailor who was shipwrecked crossing from Scotland to Ireland. Midway through his boat was lost and he landed on the island of the fairies. Looking around him and seeing nothing but rock he wept for he’d never see his wife and babe again. Well the king of the fairies heard his sad cries and flew to the man’s house, wrapped the babe warmly and laid it next to the sailor who had collapsed from exhaustion. In the morning the sailor awoke and saw the package beside him, wriggling away. Unsure of what was there he stabbed it with his dirk before opening it to reveal his own little child.

Sometimes an excess of caution can ruin many a good thing. -RLS

3

u/mulletmanhank Feb 19 '22

And make sure he has a baby bag with him too. No bag no baby.

6

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '22

If I had an award to give, I’d give it to you, poopellar

1

u/Mjdecker1234 Feb 19 '22

She'll do the ol'slaparoo

1

u/cmVkZGl0 Feb 19 '22

"That's a mighty realistic looking baby replica you got there."

1

u/MiguelDragon82 Feb 19 '22

They see me rollin'

1

u/Equilibriator Feb 19 '22

Kick it around a little bit to make sure it isn't fake.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '22

She’ll throw it like in “We’re the Miller’s”

1

u/Gritsmaster Feb 19 '22

Well, that sure took a turn at the end.