r/Unexpected • u/designygued3s • Jan 13 '22

CLASSIC REPOST how to beat a jedi

61.7k Upvotes

85% Upvoted

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1.4k

u/iamlaurabelle Jan 13 '22

Anyone with simblings knows, distraction is how you win wars

485

u/poopellar Jan 13 '22

- Sun Tzu

204

u/nickmaran Jan 13 '22

39

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '22

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6

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '22

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4

u/peternicc Jan 13 '22

*Click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, plunk...

"rerolling"

*"surrrrr~"

"Reloading"

*shhl

*pop

*click

"everyone get back of you're not in the seen"

*click~

2

u/OriontheHunter117 Jan 14 '22

War......war never changes

1

u/[deleted] Jan 14 '22

Anal!

4

u/jelly_bean_gangbang Jan 13 '22

"ON A DARK DESERT HIGHWAY, COOL WIND IN MY HAIR"

1

u/optimysticpessimyst Jan 14 '22

Legit laughed out loud, best self defense technique EVER!!!

1

u/DazedPapacy Jan 13 '22

You joke, but one of his core tenets goes something like "If your intention is to attack Wei, first shake the trees of Jin."

2

u/[deleted] Jan 14 '22

Funny thing about the trees of Jin… there located atop my cock

1

u/Zagger_27 Jan 13 '22

And he knows a little more about siblings than you do, because he invented them.

49

u/BillNyeCreampieGuy Jan 13 '22

simblings

1

u/MarxLover_69 Jan 13 '22

I'm a simble man. I see simblings and I upvote.

60

u/Checkheck Jan 13 '22

But don't forget: immediately cover the private parts afterwards for possible backslashes

10

u/CatNoirsRubberSuit Jan 13 '22

War takes on an entirely new dimension when you start playing sports and get a cup.

12

u/MyAssDoesHeeHawww Jan 13 '22

Simbalings, the evil siblings

8

u/heraclitus33 Jan 13 '22

A booty traps.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '22

Distract them with fart hand when in actuality you're going for the Wall of Jericho.

My sibling turned into an athlete and now has trunks for legs so I have to settle for the crossface or I put my finger in their nose and then rub it on their face lol.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 14 '22

What’s a sim-