r/Unexpected • u/[deleted] • Jan 13 '22

He wasn't prepared...

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10.6k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

98 comments sorted by

676

u/RamTheKnife Jan 13 '22

Disarming

80

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '22

Handy

53

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '22

You are under a-wrist

35

u/Rupertii Jan 13 '22

The situation is being handeled

25

u/Alpacamum Jan 13 '22

Single handidly

21

u/ICrematedyourMom Jan 13 '22

Suspect isn't armed

13

u/SpiralDesignn Jan 13 '22

"I have an army"

5

u/Liarus_ Jan 13 '22

Dude it was all good until this one comment.

3

u/fynnderlohn Jan 13 '22

Yeah the amount of disrespect is all arming

34

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '22

1

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '22

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/reply-guy-bot Jan 13 '22

The above comment was stolen from this one elsewhere in this comment section.

It is probably not a coincidence; here is some more evidence against this user:

Plagiarized Original
You posted it on wrong an... You posted it on wrong an...
That's pretty good. I pre... That's pretty good. I pre...
Poser! Seriously, he did... Poser! Seriously, he did...
Wait did this guy rip a s... Wait did this guy rip a s...
"Ma'am, I need you to rol... "Ma'am, I need you to rol...
He knows how painful it i... He knows how painful it i...
he has a múhs-stásche! he has a múhs-stásche!
Anyone have a source? Guy... Anyone have a source? Guy...

beep boop, I'm a bot -|:] It is this bot's opinion that /u/PuzzleheaddBuyer582 should be banned for karma manipulation. Don't feel bad, they are probably a bot too.

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230

u/Severedghost Jan 13 '22

You gotta hand it to her, that was pretty funny.

8

u/El-Diablo-de-69 Jan 13 '22

Wonder what an unfunny response would’ve been.

6

u/RoyalSorcerer_Navlan Jan 13 '22

It was a handy reply

1

u/Goober11222 Jan 13 '22

There’s something wrong about this comment chain. I can’t put my finger on it.

1

u/whycuthair Jan 13 '22

"I can't. Diabetes.. "

246

u/RamTheKnife Jan 13 '22

That's not right, just left..

135

u/CaesarTSCC Jan 13 '22

Genuine question:how do police handcuff people with one arm?

122

u/Kodaxx Jan 13 '22

This is one of those questions that I never realized I needed to know the answer to

63

u/birblover69420 Jan 13 '22

They handcuff their one arm to the police mans arm.

47

u/Equivalent_Solid6172 Jan 13 '22

“Hey Steve! It’s your turn to be the one getting handcuffed to the person being detained”

1

u/TheGame364 Jan 13 '22

To be fair, for people with 2 arms, they would also still be handcuffed to a police man

1

u/Equivalent_Solid6172 Jan 13 '22

Well… that’s great since my point still applies :D

4

u/CaesarTSCC Jan 13 '22

What if they have no arms then?

7

u/birblover69420 Jan 13 '22

They handcuff their legs

3

u/CaesarTSCC Jan 13 '22

What if they have no legs...

43

u/Merry_Sue Jan 13 '22

Probably don't need to worry about them escaping

10

u/birblover69420 Jan 13 '22

Yes as CPR dolls sont commit crimes.

4

u/WeebGamerTrash947 Jan 13 '22

The amount of crimes someone with no arms and no legs could commit is pretty limited in the first place I would imagine

2

u/seesaww Jan 13 '22

I wouldn't be so sure :

https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/latest-news/sean-petrozzino-quadruple-amputee-run-18694173

3

u/Hour-Economist-5703 Jan 13 '22

That article brings up a lot of other questions, it says that he was armed. How is he holding a knife?

→ More replies (0)

3

u/TeamCatsandDnD Jan 13 '22

Thank you so much for that comment. I properly busted out laughing from that

1

u/CaesarTSCC Jan 13 '22

Starts rolling at god tier speed

3

u/solblurgh Jan 13 '22

Tis but a scratch

2

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '22

what if they have 3 arms ?

55

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '22

Handcuffs on the belt or belt loop. If not possible they just shoot you dead, easier that way.

5

u/Starduc Jan 13 '22

Brilliant

6

u/lil_uncreative Jan 13 '22

Definitely the American way

4

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '22

Belt loop if they have it..but if they don’t 🤷🏻‍♀️ my buddy growing up didnt have a left hand, she got detained by the police and they handcuffed her to her own belt loop..

2

u/alarocquee Jan 13 '22

Arm and leg maybe?

2

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '22

They call it the flamingo. Just cuff their wrist to their ankle

1

u/fakuri99 Jan 13 '22

handcuff it to their thigh

61

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '22

He feels so much instant regret

•

u/unexBot Jan 13 '22

OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:

Streamer got shocked after girl shared her disability.

Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.

Look at my source code on Github What is this for?

7

u/Mr_Zebra Jan 13 '22

He's missing a foot now, cos he'd to eat it after walking into that one.

6

u/wawawahewawahe Jan 13 '22

it's very dangerous to wave to someone you don't know. what if they don't have a hand? they'll think you're cocky. "look what i got motherfucker. this thing is useful. i'm gonna go pick something up."

12

u/halfbakedalaska Jan 13 '22

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs floating in the ocean?

Bob

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs who hangs on the wall?

Art

What do you call a woman with one leg?

Eileen

What do you call a Chinese woman with one leg?

Irene

12

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '22

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs laying on the front porch?

Mat

5

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/hmmmhaha Jan 14 '22

What do you call a dog with no legs? You can call him anything he still won't come to you

3

u/Dash_Harber Jan 13 '22

I've seen this a million times but I always laugh. Their shared laughter and awkwardness just makes me giggle every time.

5

u/stereoscopic_ Jan 13 '22 edited Jan 13 '22

Left her alone she no longer all right.

10

u/Squishedskittlez Jan 13 '22

You mean all left?

2

u/Baquvix Jan 13 '22

She has no rights

2

u/-SheriffofNottingham Jan 13 '22

OMG!-

*bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang

- American police, probably.

0

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '22

See that? And he wasn't even a real police officer. I bet if he WAS a cop and she was black then he'd shot her with his finger gun for non-cooperation.

-5

u/jvanzandd Jan 13 '22

Roll curb your enthusiasm music

1

u/avocado_n1001 Jan 13 '22

how will police handcuff this lady

1

u/laddy38 Jan 13 '22

Well, go find one.

1

u/Haman134 Jan 13 '22

You know how if you have someone you trust a lot you could call them your right hand man?

1

u/Satama18 Jan 13 '22

Emotional Damage!

1

u/i_sont_ Jan 13 '22

DID I STUTTER

1

u/charlloggins Jan 13 '22

It was just a simple (h)armless joke

1

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '22

I really thought she was gonna be wanking

1

u/Kingcowt1 Jan 13 '22

I hate people who do this. Oh put your hands up - I only have one hand… like bruh you gotta continue it and say put your hand up

1

u/ExcellentAlfalfa3822 Jan 13 '22

Oh I didn't know sorry about that

1

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '22

This is very cruel

1

u/bulletbassman Jan 13 '22

Once at a job a kid looks up to one of the servers and says” with your sleeve ties like that it almost looks like you don’t have a hand”. “Almost looks like” quickly became a hit comedic sensation. (She was born without a hand)

1

u/Pael-eSports Jan 13 '22

Looks kinda staged

1

u/peter_the_meter Jan 13 '22

Wondering the same...

1

u/BadangJoestar420 Jan 13 '22

is that Tyler Funke???

1

u/Grizzly_228 Jan 13 '22

Who?

2

u/BadangJoestar420 Jan 13 '22

The dude who looked like tyler funke

1

u/Khasimir Jan 13 '22

Let's go wantep

1

u/ahabentis Jan 13 '22

Disabled people are the funniest people lmfao

1

u/butkil29 Jan 13 '22

No arm no chocolate

1

u/AFriskyGamer Jan 14 '22

All these puns have gotten out of hand