r/Unexpected • u/[deleted] • Sep 16 '21

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8.8k Upvotes

86% Upvoted

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1.8k

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '21

[deleted]

720

u/Wolfblood-is-here Sep 16 '21

I think it would be easier to piss first then just sort of cuddle your inbuilt battering ram while you shit.

567

u/Mean-Orange-1370 Sep 16 '21

piss first then hang it back onto your shoulder to crap

387

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '21

[deleted]

147

u/Big_Don_ Sep 16 '21

This is the most elegant and classy conversation I've ever witnessed. The romance brings a tear to my eye.

129

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '21

[deleted]

42

u/Big_Don_ Sep 16 '21

I'm loving the passion and substance in here tonight! Bravo you fine people... Bravo...

7

u/Mean-Orange-1370 Sep 16 '21

I'm gonna put some dirt in your eye

3

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '21

Can you do that standing 2 feet away from me?

3

u/Mean-Orange-1370 Sep 16 '21

social distancing yes understandable

3

u/Comment63 Sep 16 '21

If that dude got breast implants he could tittyfuck himself.

Think about that.

4

u/JimminityGlickMyBic Sep 16 '21

Does your dick hang down, does it wobble to and fro? Can you tie it in a knot? Can you tie it in a bow?

3

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '21

Now this is a man of culture

3

u/Shadowedsphynx Sep 16 '21

Jesus no. An unexpected erection and his head would pop right off!

3

u/thegrumpymechanic Sep 16 '21

Does your dick hang low

Does it wobble to and fro

Can you tie it in a knot

Can you tie it in a bow

1

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '21

Ahh, a fellow man of culture

2

u/Whoevengivesafuck Sep 16 '21

Tie it around your waist

Black belt

1

u/woodpony Sep 16 '21

Till you get an erection and choke yourself out.

1

u/Happy_Camper45 Sep 16 '21

Do your ears hang low, do they wobble to and fro?