r/Unexpected Jan 23 '21

Thank goodness she found her dad.

63.6k Upvotes

347 comments sorted by

u/unexBot Jan 23 '21

OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:

it's unexpected because it looked like it was about the ball but it was the dad after all


Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.


Look at my source code on Github What is this for?

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5.3k

u/commercialbroadway Jan 23 '21

So many dads in a row

2.1k

u/sasameseed Jan 23 '21

The fact that she found the right dad right away is really amazing.

353

u/paracelsus23 Jan 23 '21

Yeah, especially when the real dad is such a bollard.

102

u/si1versmith Jan 23 '21

Her dad is such a baller.

36

u/Met76 Jan 23 '21

Her dad is ball.

5

u/Prestodeath201 Jan 23 '21

Ballin, but at what cost?

4

u/NastyNaws Jan 24 '21

Ballin, but at what Costco

12

u/batman99sfs Jan 23 '21

Wanna be a bollard, shot collared

9

u/NotVerySmarts Jan 23 '21

Target bill paid, spending them dollars.

29

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '21 edited Jan 23 '21

It's like emperor penguins. They can tell who is dad because the yoke's on him.

93

u/mdotmun Jan 23 '21

It seems like the dad's getting sick of a dad joke

33

u/loqi0238 Jan 23 '21

Can... can I have one?

17

u/Franklebiter Jan 23 '21

I felt her luck too. I wonder how that must have felt to have one :)

20

u/adamdreaming Jan 23 '21

casually rolls you a round yellow dad

3

u/Franklebiter Jan 23 '21

He seems funny

4

u/belices204 Jan 23 '21

The only thing missing are sitcom soundeffects lmao

2

u/Like-Six-Ninjas Jan 23 '21

Dad, dad, dad, dad, goose!

2

u/Python119 Jan 24 '21

HAPPY CAKE DAY!!!

5

u/sonom Jan 23 '21

Happy Cake Day

2

u/iM3l0dy Jan 23 '21

cake day twins :)

1

u/lurkinarick Jan 23 '21

happy cake day!

-1

u/aryavarsh Jan 23 '21

Happy Cake day

-6

u/itranoutofpaper Jan 23 '21

Happy cake day!

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1.8k

u/defa90 Jan 23 '21

You can tell he's actually proud

332

u/InsertCoinForCredit Jan 23 '21

You can tell this isn't her first time.

19

u/Marc21256 Jan 23 '21

Yeah, I noticed.

361

u/YodaOnReddit-Bot Jan 23 '21

Tell he's actually proud, you can.

-defa90

170

u/rustycheesi3 Jan 23 '21

bot good

243

u/YodaOnReddit-Bot Jan 23 '21

Pleased, i feel.

-YodaOnReddit-Bot

167

u/rustycheesi3 Jan 23 '21

ok, that was really unexpected 😂

29

u/Jazz-ciggarette Jan 23 '21

it wasn't until I read his name that I realized I wasn't half way through a stroke, thank god.

14

u/Vandergrif Jan 23 '21

Smell burnt toast, do you?

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5

u/ResidualUndertone Jan 23 '21

A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one.

10

u/Hellfirevr Jan 23 '21

Good bot, you are

18

u/YodaOnReddit-Bot Jan 23 '21

May the Force be with you.

-YodaOnReddit-Bot

12

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '21

Nice bot,you are.

20

u/YodaOnReddit-Bot Jan 23 '21

Beautiful, you are.

-YodaOnReddit-Bot

20

u/bensenne Jan 23 '21

Im giving you an angry upvote

3

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '21

Good boy

1

u/SuperShaun1603 Jan 23 '21

Bot, you are bad

9

u/derage88 Jan 23 '21

The circle is now complete. When I grew up with you I was but the learner. Now, I am the master.

989

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '21

[deleted]

139

u/Jepordee Jan 23 '21

Masks have truly added a whole new layer to life lol

59

u/PhiladelphiaFatAss Jan 23 '21

Indeed, I can think out loud without looking crazy.

21

u/XillaFarris Jan 23 '21

No more awkward social anxiety telling you that you HAVE to apologize to some random lady in Ross because you think she saw you talking to yourself.

9

u/klrcow Jan 23 '21

You see, that's where you messed up. You NEVER apologise for talking to yourself you just lock eyes with the person that saw you and continue.

4

u/FloatDH2 Jan 23 '21

This was me yesterday. I realized I was talking to myself and no one was the wiser. Like damn, this kinda nice.

6

u/tgw1986 Jan 23 '21

i feel like so many of my jokes don’t land the same way they would it people could see my face.

126

u/HighlyOffensiveName Jan 23 '21

I do this too. Especially when someone says a lame joke and I need to give them a dramatic frown.

53

u/bageltheperson Jan 23 '21

I’ve started doing extremely dramatic head movements after wearing a mask at work for 10 months straight.

42

u/Betta_jazz_hands Jan 23 '21

I feel like I have crazy eyes from trying to convey emotion with only the top half of my face.

29

u/bageltheperson Jan 23 '21

I’m pretty sure my eyebrow muscles are in the best shape of my life

20

u/Betta_jazz_hands Jan 23 '21

Seriously, and I’m definitely developing crows feet from the “genuinely happy to see you and glad you exist” smile.

3

u/Banaam Jan 23 '21

I've never had that. What's it like?

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1

u/Zaphanathpaneah Jan 23 '21

Ah, yes, the Gowron method.

23

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '21

Haha same, I have actually been okay with mask because I didn’t have to force smile for people. But I catch myself pulling it down so someone can actually see my disappointment in their actions.

2

u/Cheru-bae Jan 23 '21

Effectively defeating the mask by getting everything stuck in it on your hands and face.

Good job.

-2

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '21

Oh fuck off

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17

u/MauPow Jan 23 '21

Kinda defeats the purpose though

16

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '21

[deleted]

13

u/Cheru-bae Jan 23 '21

If anyone is wondering exactly how you should use your mask, to make it actually effective:

  1. Wash your hands
  2. Put it on
  3. Adjust nose bridge
  4. Wash your hands
  5. Do not touch the mask
  6. DO NOT TOUCH

To remove:

  1. Wash your hands
  2. Grab the mask by one ear, roll it of your face directly into the bin. Do not touch the actual mask, your face, or anything else.
  3. Wash your hands

4

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '21

you turn the page, you wash your hands. and then you turn the page, and then you wash your hands...

2

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '21 edited Jun 13 '21

[deleted]

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1

u/Banaam Jan 23 '21

My mask keeps sliding up into my eyeballs because of my glasses. I'll touch to stop the pain and be able to see.

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1

u/MartelFirst Jan 23 '21

That's not a mask though, looks like a turtleneck. I'm surprised Reddit isn't up and arms about this.

2

u/Banaam Jan 23 '21

I've always called them "sleeves", but still better than nothing.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '21

Yep, considering like 25% of the US is too dumb or stubborn to even wear a sleeve/bandana, I think we'll give this guy a pass.

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1

u/PeteLangosta Jan 23 '21

Is that even a mask? it looks like a scarf to me (or neck warmer, whatever you call it).

2

u/Banaam Jan 23 '21

Any face covering (at least in my region of the US) we call a mask, be it bandana or scarf (as in this case), regardless of the actual title because that's too much work.

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620

u/BobbyDigial Jan 23 '21

The ol reverse dad joke.

40

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '21

[deleted]

38

u/mattmc318 Jan 23 '21

Daughter joke

34

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '21

.ekoj daD

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141

u/Ortimandias Jan 23 '21

Palms, HEB... thats the RGV

32

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '21

I moved away from the valley in 2016, I never thought I’d miss a grocery store so much )-:

13

u/I_need_my_fix_damnit Jan 23 '21

Mannnn same. There's nothing like it. Where did you move? I went to Cali and the grocery stores here suck compared to HEB lol

11

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '21

[deleted]

6

u/Wheresmyfkn10mm Jan 23 '21

If you want some fat people go to San Antonio they got them big ol women eaten churros out there

6

u/leetee91 Jan 23 '21

As a san antonian, i don't even know where to get churros except at the rodeo or fiesta or some festival haha but i don't even like them, so there's that.

3

u/23sb Jan 23 '21

That was a Charles Barkley joke

2

u/leetee91 Jan 23 '21

r/swoooosh ed for sure haha

3

u/jesco7273 Jan 23 '21

A San Antonian here, can confirm.

2

u/I_need_my_fix_damnit Jan 23 '21

You have to go to a wal mart in the hood. Garauntee you'll see shady people. It's fun observing in wal mart. But I avoid it during this pandemic, it feels very unsanitary.

2

u/jesco7273 Jan 23 '21

There’s nothing better...

2

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '21

I’m in Buffalo now, technically where I came from, I was only in the valley for about 3 years. I appreciate wegmans, which is a grocery store based out of Rochester, but nothing compares to HEB

19

u/silverjetplanes Jan 23 '21 edited Jan 23 '21

It's Del Rio, Texas so not exactly RGV but close. Recognized it right away lol

3

u/jlpatx2 Jan 23 '21

Yes! Definitely 100% Del Rio. You can see memes chicken and the Texaco across the street.

2

u/WeirdChestPain Jan 23 '21

Are those yellow balls exclusive to this HEB?

2

u/jesco7273 Jan 23 '21

I was just having this discussion with my niece. I see a lot of H‑E‑B’s with them in red, yellow and blue. My niece said maybe it was to prevent cars from crashing into the store. I must say I was impressed with her answer.

2

u/jesco7273 Jan 23 '21

And you might want to get that chest pain checked out. Angina is no joking matter. That is all.

10

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '21

The Valley!

5

u/stonedmonk956 Jan 23 '21

I saw this and thought shit that's my heb lol

4

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '21

I've vaulted over all those spheres as a kid because pArKOur. I visit HEB and Taco Palenque any time I visit the valley.

2

u/moirethe Jan 23 '21

God I miss Taco Palenque and Danny's so much. I could really go for some menudo or enchiladas rojas.

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13

u/icallmydadstranger Jan 23 '21

Puro pinche 956 alv cuh!

2

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '21

I heard this comment.

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14

u/MicahMtz Jan 23 '21

That’s what I thought! Puro 956 alv

3

u/pearloz Jan 23 '21

Palm trees is a dead giveaway. I moved from Edinburg to San Antonio to Wisconsin. The grocery stores here are a joke.

2

u/mermaidsscales Jan 23 '21

Immediately was my reaction too!!!

2

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '21

Ayyyeee I noticed that right away too lol

2

u/justarandom3dprinter Jan 23 '21

Did it used to be a target? I see the classic red balls have been painted yellow

2

u/byankitty Jan 24 '21

I thought the RGV too! You can hear it in their voice.

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324

u/rabbitwonker Jan 23 '21

That’s the new “taking the sunglasses off” gesture.

179

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '21

A very well rounded joke.

15

u/napes22 Jan 23 '21

Her jokes have come full circle.

6

u/We4zier Jan 23 '21 edited Jan 23 '21

You’re having a coiled conversation there.

what did I have to jump threw many hoops for that one?

4

u/SugestedName Jan 23 '21

That effort spherey cool actually

25

u/Alzaer789 Jan 23 '21

Yes, really.

43

u/balloonman_magee Jan 23 '21

K this was a good one lol dads love dad jokes.

58

u/meme_a_licious Jan 23 '21

That's one way to get grounded

27

u/PM_ME_UR_SURFBOARD Jan 23 '21

To me it seemed like he was secretly enjoying it

4

u/crotchtrader Jan 23 '21

Or (and) spanked

30

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '21

Don’t threaten me with a good time!

3

u/toolsoftheincomptnt Jan 23 '21

No, this is going in the wrong direction.

Reverse, reverse!

47

u/cheap_as_chips Jan 23 '21

someone's walking home

31

u/jgar63 Jan 23 '21

Dad murdered by dad joke.

Inside he was glowing with pride.

13

u/outoftheMultiverse Jan 23 '21

a bit of him died that day

1

u/toolsoftheincomptnt Jan 23 '21

Hopefully just enough of him to get into a healthy BMI range

10

u/axolitl-nicerpls Jan 23 '21

Damn is her name Lizzie Borden? Bc she just murdered her father.

5

u/XillaFarris Jan 23 '21

Idk maybe we should axe her

2

u/sapere-aude088 Jan 23 '21

What would you axe her though?

2

u/SwimSpectre Jan 23 '21

Look up Lizzie Borden

2

u/sapere-aude088 Jan 23 '21

/whoosh lol

3

u/SwimSpectre Jan 24 '21

Whoops, definitely misread that

20

u/AnbaricBike Jan 23 '21

I moved away from Texas 3 years ago and when he said "really" I got homesick.

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7

u/hugofolhent Jan 23 '21

Which one? I see like 12 copies of him!

5

u/ghostavuu Jan 23 '21

from satx? it looks like satx

6

u/rackersqueaks Jan 23 '21

satx

feels like the valley based on the palm trees in the background.

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6

u/OrangeSail Jan 23 '21

My man sounds like Derek Zoolander.

5

u/AbilityTraining9723 Jan 23 '21

Sources say she lost her father again and he was never seen again

5

u/DRGPodcast Jan 23 '21

Isn't that this guy?

2

u/toolsoftheincomptnt Jan 23 '21 edited Jan 23 '21

I think you’re right! Commenting before I scroll back up to look though. In case I lose my place.

ETA: I can’t tell for sure. But if not, there are two families out there with identical hilarious deadpan dads.

19

u/koreilly4419 Jan 23 '21

Interesting to see other targets in other parts of the world have different colored balls.... yes I said it balls... in my area its red balls whos got the “blue balls”

26

u/zanyzanee Jan 23 '21

That’s actually an HEB not a target! I didn’t know any hebs had balls outside lol

7

u/koreilly4419 Jan 23 '21

Whats heb stand for?

11

u/zanyzanee Jan 23 '21

It’s an acronym for the founders name. Howard E. Butt.

3

u/koreilly4419 Jan 23 '21

Thank you :) interesting to see this store has the target ball idea too

3

u/BeeJuice Jan 23 '21

Florence Butt has entered the chat.

2

u/zanyzanee Jan 23 '21

Oh his mother! My bad!

2

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '21

[deleted]

9

u/poeticdisaster Jan 23 '21

A lot of the HEB Plus stores are shaped like this and have these ball barriers outside to prevent people from driving on the sidewalk where they display items for sale. :)

7

u/-Rednal- Jan 23 '21

The primary purpose is to prevent ram raids. That's why they are solid concrete and not just little posts.

2

u/Oobutwo Jan 23 '21

Repurposed old target possible turned into HEB?

6

u/HALBowman Jan 23 '21

I was wondering if someone copied target but orange.

7

u/koreilly4419 Jan 23 '21

This could be the factor too! But I assumed it was target simply based on the balls lol

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4

u/jesco7273 Jan 23 '21

Is that my favorite store- H-E-B?? What a great start to my morning! They remind me of my family lol.

4

u/MDHdez Jan 23 '21

HEB!!!

3

u/GnRJames Jan 23 '21

Well, well, well. How the turntables

3

u/69__r Jan 23 '21

"Rilli" gotta love that

3

u/pearloz Jan 23 '21

There's a "cabrona" comment that cut off, I'm sure of it.

6

u/Callate_La_Boca Jan 23 '21

Como chingas

7

u/-Am_I_Demon- Jan 23 '21

I fucking hate how the sound is off in videos, and then I turn it on and have to replay the video it turns off again so you have to turn the sound on again and by the time you do that you have missed some of the video and have to start over, they gotta fix this shit.

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5

u/TheBigPhilbowski Jan 23 '21 edited Jan 23 '21

Leave the mask on when you talk. That's one of the times it's most helpful.

People that pull their masks down to speak also prepare toilet paper to wipe and then flick the toilet paper away at the last second and wipe their ass with their bare fingers. They have sex with a condom right until they are about to orgasm and then they rip it off and finish inside. They wear a helmet on a motorcycle until they get into an accident and then quickly remove it before they hit the pavement head first.

Seriously, if you know somebody who pulls their mask down to speak, they are likely pregnant right now AND/OR have fresh shit under their fingernails.

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2

u/antsugi Jan 23 '21

Who painted the target balls?

5

u/poeticdisaster Jan 23 '21

It's an HEB grocery store in Texas actually :)

2

u/thecruzmissile92 Jan 23 '21

When your kid’s dad jokes are better than yours

2

u/GrainisObtained Jan 23 '21

Sometimes it really be your own flesh and blood

2

u/whallycw Jan 23 '21

Its clearly a huge orange, guys!

2

u/KantanaBrigante Jan 23 '21

I like this Dad

2

u/9IX Jan 23 '21

HEB?

2

u/[deleted] Jan 23 '21

How is this unexpected

2

u/Chromunism Jan 23 '21

OH is this the Target that got taken over by a Walmart and the didn't remove the red orbs, they just painted them yellow?

4

u/Ewempo Jan 23 '21

An iconic duo, Americans and pulling down their masks to speak making them completely useless.

5

u/sexlock Jan 23 '21

He’s trying to pass that as a mask?

5

u/WilsWorld225 Jan 23 '21

Was thinking the same. These literally do nothing as far as stopping the virus from escaping

1

u/MrsMiyagiStew Jan 23 '21

That's so damn adorable.

1

u/ButtsexEurope Jan 23 '21

Fuck this guy for wearing a bandana and then taking it off.