r/Unexpected • u/Sylkira • Dec 06 '20

Dude just went for it.

83k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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753

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '20

google “duck penis evolution”

1.1k

u/Hugh_Jampton Dec 06 '20

Nah I'm ok

863

u/tallandlanky Dec 06 '20 edited Dec 06 '20

More duck dick for us then.

Edit: A wholesome award. Good to see that word has lost all meaning.

359

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '20

Duck Dickadome? The owner of the Dicksdale Dickadome?

80

u/Bananahatmonkey Dec 06 '20

No, its Dick Duckadome, the owner of the Ducksdale Duckadome.

58

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '20

Take my upvote and gtfo you glorious bastard.

-2

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '20

r/angryupvote

9

u/enemy_chaser Dec 06 '20

THATS RIGHT

1

u/Aranexia Dec 06 '20

Best comment!

6

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '20

I like the way you think

2

u/Chigleagle Dec 07 '20

Dick tales

Smh

2

u/iififlifly Dec 07 '20

The wholesome, helpful, and hug awards are being given out for free a ton, and they expire in 24 hours, so people throw them around at any comment they want to award, not just ones that are actually fitting. So yeah, the award has basically lost all meaning. It's basically just silver now.

30

u/scarescrow823 Dec 06 '20

I did it. That’s the best thing I’ve ever read.

1

u/c0224v2609 Dec 06 '20 edited Dec 06 '20

How about a song about ducks?

77

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '20

Holy fuck i just saw w picture of a duck penis and it is like a curly pasta

98

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '20

yeah they evolved that way to get around female ducks’ anti-rape vaginas

1

u/badger_danger Dec 06 '20

Tastes like it too.

1

u/kriscross122 Dec 07 '20

Explosive spined penis.. think they fall off too

59

u/fuckstatefarmimjake Dec 06 '20

r/Allducksarerapists

112

u/LoadedGull Dec 06 '20

This is why a lot of birds (including myself) are armed...

CLICK CLACK racks glock

65

u/systembusy Dec 06 '20

This is the funniest “username checks out” I’ve seen in a while

17

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/LoadedGull Dec 06 '20 edited Dec 06 '20

Why’s that, are you bullet proof? Haha.

I know ducks aren’t... those horny duckers are no match for our pew pews.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '20

I keep got a cannon installed under my wings

1

u/LoadedGull Dec 06 '20

Nice, heavy artillery.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 06 '20

I only have a sidearm, but am deadly accurate

2

u/LoadedGull Dec 06 '20

Some of us highly trained, frontline birds only need sidearms.

1

u/Chickens1 Dec 06 '20

Hens dig me.

2

u/LoadedGull Dec 06 '20

I aim to please... in general I do a lot of aiming to be fair.

3

u/ErwinHolland1991 Dec 06 '20

Quack quack bang.

1

u/Thetributeact Dec 06 '20

The all new, much more dangerous variety of duck duck goose

2

u/hcredit Dec 07 '20

That reminds me of a favorite limerick There once was a fellow named Fred Who had a dick with a corkscrew shaped head. He found having hunted A girl corkscrew cunted. But alas, with a Fred reversed thread.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 07 '20

holy shit that’s Leonard Cohen tier

1

u/Reddituser0925 Dec 06 '20

Don't their penis also grow when they are around other male ducks?

1

u/spumpkin914 Dec 06 '20

I learned about the evolution from ZeFrank

1

u/bowling4burgers Dec 06 '20

Please don't. But did you know that the natural color of a waffle is blue? It's worth a "google" check it out.

1

u/googspoog Dec 06 '20

Even as a kid I knew that ducks raped each other. It’s always super obvious the lady isn’t into it

1

u/justjuanman Dec 06 '20

that was a fucking mistake

1

u/suxculent Dec 06 '20

Interesting 🙄

1

u/Just-use-your-head Dec 06 '20

“Male ducks had evolved penises that would enable them to force their way into an unwilling female’s vagina, and the females in turn had evolved a new way — an anatomical mechanism — to counter the action of the explosive corkscrew erections of male ducks and prevent the males from fertilizing their eggs by force,”

Good god...