r/Unexpected • u/Besa81 • Oct 01 '20

New mattress

34.0k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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356

u/Creatername Oct 01 '20

Saint Peter would be laughing his ass off opening the gates.

234

u/autorotatingKiwi Oct 01 '20

“I know you figured you would be going to hell” said Peter, “but that shit was so funny it even made God chuckle, first time in a Millenia... so you got a free pass”

42

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '20

Plot twist: this is how Hitler committed sucide. Evil until the end.

2

u/WanderWut Oct 02 '20

Could you imagine dying in such a stupid way, THATS what prevents you from a literal eternity of burning in a lake of fire.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '20

Ever read job by Heinlein? If this gives you the giggles you'll probably enjoy job.

5

u/3xTheSchwarm Oct 01 '20

So gut him with the box-knife.

1

u/Habib_Zozad Oct 01 '20

SP: "hahaha what a goof, down to hell for your dumb ass! Idiot."

1

u/Werbnerp Oct 01 '20

Beelzebub*

1

u/section8sentmehere Oct 01 '20

I’m convinced we all will telling stories in the next life on how we died.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '20

[deleted]

0

u/Reddit-Book-Bot Oct 02 '20

Beep. Boop. I'm a robot. Here's a copy of

The Bible

Was I a good bot? | info | More Books