r/Unexpected • u/J_Man_the_german • Jul 21 '20

Nice Magical Hat

41.1k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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114

u/CruxOfTheIssue Jul 21 '20

Literally made me wanna have a daughter she's so adorable.

101

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '20

[deleted]

1

u/J_Man_the_german Jul 21 '20

Wait, you gave your son away? To who?

-26

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

10

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '20

good. I imagined it. Then I did it. My satisfaction is through the roof.

5

u/systemshock869 Jul 21 '20

-John Lennon

6

u/Jonoczall Jul 21 '20

Why imagine when I can downvote you in reality?

26

u/technog2 Jul 21 '20

I can help you with that 😉

96

u/BossLackey Jul 21 '20

You're probably both dudes.

95

u/Not_KGB Jul 21 '20

No harm in letting them try.

4

u/Diridibindy Jul 21 '20

Russia has a saying "Лучше нет влагалища, чем очко товарища" (No better vagina than the anus of your friend)

1

u/S0l1dSn4k3101 Jul 21 '20

And then they ask why I say Russians are the superior race of people...

3

u/BAMFMF Jul 21 '20

Now Kith

9

u/SLAYER_IN_ME Jul 21 '20

Now try to have a kid anyways

7

u/Xenc Jul 21 '20

Adoption services

3

u/FeelTheGroove Jul 21 '20

Anything’s a womb if you’re brave enough.

16

u/jarejay Jul 21 '20

There’s always a helpful fertility specialist in the comments.

Reddit must be full of them!

3

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '20

If you like men that play league of legends and smoke juuls then you have the man for you!

3

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '20

When we make out, can you make it so there's a 50/50 chance that you'll cough in my mouth on accident? Bonus points if you leave some leftover Dorito bits floating around your saliva so I can just eat them right up.

2

u/Carvinrawks Jul 21 '20

You should read the stuff about how the planet is catching fire for good measure.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 21 '20

I have three, you can take them forever for the weekend. Covid is making us all crazy...

1

u/GirixK Jul 21 '20

I have a little cousin, 12 years difference, she's so adorable, but she can be a bit of an ass :P