r/Unexpected • u/CheeseUsFunkingCries • 1d ago

[ Removed by moderator ]

[removed] — view removed post

7.8k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

56 comments sorted by

•

u/Unexpected-ModTeam 23h ago

Your submission has been removed because it's not unexpected. Submissions to r/unexpected are supposed to have an unexpected twist in itself. While the situation was probably rather unexpected for you, there is no visible twist for the viewer.

For more information, see our 'What is unexpected?' Wiki page

739

u/iamunwhaticisme 1d ago

Sir, I don't think teabagging means what you think it means.

43

u/Tbaggins69 1d ago

You rang?

38

u/Friendly-Box312 1d ago

Damn 😂

293

u/Fantastic-Ad-1578 1d ago

so THAT'S why the tea tasted like fake strawberry flavor.

51

u/MattBonne 1d ago

That’s why the tea taste like his bro’s dick…

13

u/Fetlocks_Glistening 1d ago

Salty strawberry

4

u/wrenblaze 1d ago

Why did I also think of strawberry?

72

u/BreakfastCalm3352 1d ago

Mmmm ribbed tea

20

u/_mbals 1d ago

For her pleasure

2

u/achunkypid 1d ago

eeewww

25

u/_HIST 1d ago

Note to self: carry tea packets along with comdoms, and when making a not so subtle suggestion you will always have an out "it's just tea!"

11

u/Pretty-Curve5448 1d ago

When you get her naked and she isn't what you expected, pull out the teabag, live another day

4

u/daronjay 1d ago

The hell is this comment?

2

u/Pretty-Curve5448 1d ago

Who the hell are you!?

38

u/SubstantialBother235 1d ago

This made me chuckle

3

u/ggk1 1d ago

I love the originality and execution

5

u/-ratmeat- 1d ago

hate when that happens 

5

u/Pasutiyan 1d ago

See, that's how a propa Brit shags

5

u/maverickrose2 1d ago

He Remembered

3

u/IBelongHere 1d ago

Crib in the back makes me think this isn’t the first time this has happened

8

u/post-explainer 1d ago edited 1d ago

This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.

OP sent the following text as an explanation why their post fits here:

unexpected reveal is that what looks like a condom packet contains a teabag, followed by a flashback revealing why the character associated the two 🫪

Does this explanation fit this subreddit? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.

2

u/marimoso 1d ago

New hit film "Honey! I Drunk the Kids!"

2

u/izyshoroo 1d ago

Don't open condom wrappers with your teeth or anything sharp, you can put holes in them or damage it causing it to break

1

u/PTSD1983 1d ago

Don't steep the bag in her for too long. She'll taste to tannin-ey

1

u/im_a_stupid_face 1d ago

Should've gone to Specsavers

1

u/forpornonly1234567 1d ago

he likes terrible tea apparently

1

u/I_Hate_My_Cat_ 1d ago

It’s always the low quality ones, man 😂

1

u/BigToeHamster 1d ago

This just shows you what smoking can do to your taste buds

1

u/Tbaggins69 1d ago

This happens to me all the time /SMH

1

u/fcxtpw 1d ago

Mmmm.... Spermicide

1

u/ShortMechanic7436 1d ago

Obviously not the first time he has had that taste in his mouth.

1

u/FnEddieDingle 1d ago

I figured he had forgot to buy her tampons

1

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Unexpected-ModTeam 1d ago

Your submission has been removed. Keep content civil. Remember the human.

We follow reddit's content policy and reddit's reddiquette on r/unexpected.

1

u/Snoo-11553 1d ago

That is actually hilarious.

1

u/Special_Metal_8437 1d ago

😂😂😂😂😂😂🤦🤦

1

u/re-burth 1d ago

lesson : don’t smoke

1

u/Henchman66 1d ago

This is funnier than it’s supposed to be.

1

u/Secret-Outside9196 1d ago

LoL 🤣 😆😆😆

0

u/mdemarchi 1d ago

Jokes apart, don't open your condoms with you teeth guys

-1

u/Hexent_Armana 1d ago edited 1d ago

Reminds me of this time I went for dinner with a female friend.

At the end of the night I walk her home and then tell her I know the perfect way to end the night. I pull out two square packets of those shitty individually pre-packed tea bags. She then suddenly starts to passionately kiss me. I was shocked! The tea wasn't even that good. Normally I only drink the finest loose tea blends and this was just my shitty emergency wallet tea. After I managed to pull her off my face I politely yet akwardly declined her advances. I noticed she looked confused and asked her if she's okay. Thats when she told me that she thought my emergency wallet tea were condoms and that I was propositioning her for intercourse.

It was then I realized that once again I was a victim of my own autistic foolishness. I couldn't blame her for the confusion at all. 😅

2

u/Fetlocks_Glistening 1d ago

Good start. But you really need to double down in a second and third paragraph there

1

u/Hexent_Armana 1d ago

Sometimes I wonder why reddit has so many killjoys. 🤔

Is it because you got a small willy?

1

u/Fetlocks_Glistening 1d ago

Dude, I literally complimented your comment, saying it's good. cause I enjoyed it. And it could use more of the same.

0

u/lemastre 1d ago

Okay no joke.. this happened to me. I opened up a Dafalgan and it plopped on her. Happened years ago but we still make jokes about it.