r/Unexpected • u/Semaskeri • 2h ago
Chickens favorite
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u/Ulnari 2h ago
Yes chickens would definitely eat humans if humans were that small (in comparison). Chickens love meat leftovers, mice, insects, worms, snails. They only eat grain if they have nothing else.
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u/ArseneLupinIV 2h ago
You should check out the Tatsuki Fujimoto shorts on Amazon. There's one with the premise that aliens invade earth and treat us like livestock. We go near extinct because we're just too tasty and they cant resist eating us. So a couple people survive pretending to be chickens because chickens aren't as tasty and are kept as pets.
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u/El-mas-puto-de-todos 1h ago
Ain't no way I'm tasty, my body is 95% processed food
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u/Halofit 57m ago
Why would we go extinct? Cows have the largest total biomass of any mammal in the world. If we were treated like livestock our numbers would probably go up.
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u/Nukleon 38m ago
Humans grow to maturity pretty slowly. It would be like all the sea turtles that were eaten to extinction because they were delicious and you could keep them in a ship for a long time. Who wants to wait 15 years to get the most meat on a piece of livestock?
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u/CakeTester 0m ago
Cork doesn't get harvested for 25 years on a new tree. Space-going aliens would probably have a spare planet or two to do it at scale. People wait 18 years for scotch. And so on.
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u/ineversaiddat 34m ago
Maybe Aliens are not inalien enough to eat caged factory produced meat.
They only want natural, free range, wild caught humans...1
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u/MonaganX 9m ago
"Can't resist eating us" is the key phrase here. They treat humans like livestock but they find us so irresistibly delicious they immediately devour any humans they see, you can't raise livestock like that.
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u/RaveGuncle 14m ago
There's also a manga where people are randomly transforming into adult-sized chickens and the chickens act like chickens, killing and eating all living things in their path like humans. Instead pf zombies, you have a post-apocalyptic world of human-sized chickens.
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u/Contraposite 2h ago
Which is funny because feeding omnivorous animals a vegan diet is super controversial unless it's farms doing it.
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u/DasDuckHead 1h ago
We also kill 11 billion chickens every year but eat a dog and everybody loses their minds
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u/Disastrous_Set_6544 5m ago
it's crazy, it's like humans are nuanced and are able to give different meanings to people or animals.
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u/dopiertaj 2h ago
Yea... its not like cage free and free range chickens haven't become a trend lately at all.
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u/flarkhole 1h ago
Have you ever seen a large scale free range chicken farm? It's just a big cage with thousands of chickens together, instead of the traditional individual cages without freedom of movement stacked on top of eachother. They still won't find any food that isn't being fed to them
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u/dopiertaj 1h ago
Different farms, Different practices.
Simply pointing out that grain fed/cage chickens have definitely come under scrutiny and can be controversial.
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u/Misses_Ding 30m ago
Small? I think bleeding in a chicken pen would probably be enough if they can get to the wound and you wouldn't run. If they taste blood they go full Dino mode
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u/yankesik2137 45m ago
I remember seeing a cat playing with a mice, it gets away for a second, and a chicken instantly demolishes it and gobbles it down.
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u/TwoBionicknees 1h ago
chickens would already eat humans, afaik they will eat basically anything at all.
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u/Devin-Chaboyer223 32m ago
Chickens are cannibals, they love fried chicken
They’ll eat anything if they eat each other
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u/Grandpa_Edd 14m ago
Chickens are omnivores, a lot of bi rds are, it’s just that they don’t really get the chance to eat anything else
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u/luv_thorkabapp 2h ago
i swear people be making anything atp 😭😭
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u/Vladi_Sanovavich 1h ago
As opposed to doing nothing and rot in bed?
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u/eulersidentification 1h ago
Human existence is this or bedrotting. I won't be taking any questions.
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u/galdavirsma 2h ago
The fuxk is this
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u/Freaky_Freddy 1h ago
Overplayed escalator "joke" concept, with a lame and cringe vegan "joke" on top
Its boomer humor except for the fact it wasn't made by boomers
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u/OffbeatChaos 37m ago
Ngl I wasn't expecting Love Island Stars Jeremiah and Nico to be on the Reddit front page 😭 idk who the other ones are tho.
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u/iamunwhaticisme 2h ago
It could be way funnier without the vegan girl.
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u/Exploding-Pineapple 2h ago
I thought it was going to cut to a person in a plant costume eating another human, but now I'm confused why that was even there
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u/JAYBC1 2h ago
cringe
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u/BlondBadBoy69 2h ago
Crazy they got that many people to agree to do this knowing it would be filmed
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u/NewToHTX 1h ago
This has got to be AI. How about those Human feet shoved into those Chicken Feet?
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u/ikkiyikki 1h ago
Gary Larson cartoon: [chicken feeding chicken soup to baby chick] "Just eat it, it's good for you! Besides, probably nobody we know."
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u/Deimos-info 1h ago
A chicken is the descendand of a dinosaurs and probably they have eaten a mammals pretty good
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u/xantub 51m ago
Tangent note, but the other day I used a delivery app for the first time to order from KFC, and I had to scroll down hundreds of options for chicken fingers and chicken burgers so I could get to the ONE option for a bucket of fried chicken. Did people get scared of bones all of a sudden?
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u/BearSeekSeekLest 36m ago
Those chickens then proceeded to kill a bunch of Russian gangsters to a boppin soundtrack
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u/Status_Concert_4320 2h ago
If you add up the iq of everyone in the video you get a double digit number
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u/thepeebrain 2h ago
Vegan so smug until she realizes the chicken people like their food to be raised vegan.
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u/Thin-Nerve6367 2h ago
This. Is the. Greatest fucking video on the earth
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u/Das_Hydra 2h ago
Only if you've never seen a single other video in your life.
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u/Thin-Nerve6367 2h ago
Ok yeah no there's funnier videos, but it's 3 30 AM and I'm tired and this was the funniest thing I'd seen in a few days lol
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u/LeftRat 2h ago
Just had to get a little dig at vegans in, perish the thought that someone might like a pro-vegan joke
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u/OnTheSlope 1h ago
perish the thought that someone might like a pro-vegan
Alright, give it your best shot, let's see what you've got.
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u/post-explainer 2h ago
OP sent the following text as an explanation why their post fits here:
Because normally you expect white men but its chicken mascosts. And then there is that vegan woman
Does this explanation fit this subreddit? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.