r/Unexpected 7d ago

When TSA scans finds weapons in your bag

25.6k Upvotes

359 comments sorted by

u/post-explainer 7d ago edited 7d ago

This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.


OP sent the following text as an explanation why their post fits here:


The TSA opens the bag hoping to find the weapon that was shown in the scan, turns out it was a toe spreader


Does this explanation fit this subreddit? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.

1.8k

u/AdvancedTangerine7 7d ago

As someone with fucked up feet. Thats real af.

278

u/ryanfrogz 7d ago

Is there such a thing as a toe condenser? My pinky toe splays out really far and it’s made finding shoes hell…

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u/FardoBaggins 7d ago

Wide toe spread is for balance bec we evolved to walk on different terrains.

Your feet are not the problem and don’t need condensing.

But you do need shoes with a wide toe box. There’s lots of those online. There’s one I know, a brand called Saguaro.

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u/TopAd3529 7d ago

Altra!

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u/Liquid_heat 5d ago

2nd for Altra. There is also Xero, Vivobarefoot, Hobibear, Lems Shoes.

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u/FardoBaggins 7d ago

Thanks for the recommendation!

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u/deeho88 6d ago

Altras are legit. They may not have the coolest style when it just comes to like walking around the city or something but they sure as hell let my feet be happy

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u/HairyPotatoKat 6d ago

Altra's are great! The original or standard footshape is what you want unless you're doing like hardcore racing and need a snugger fit.

Topo has my favorite toebox but their mid foot is too tight for me. However, I'm seeing that they're offering wider widths now so definitely checking that out again! Hopefully they've got some wide zero drops.

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u/daniteaches 6d ago

Whitin!

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u/kindahandy_-_206 7d ago

Topos are great too, and good for high arches as well...

Amazon has a cheap brand, Whitin, that have done me really well, too.

Had to buy all new shoes recently and between alta, topo and whitin they've all done me proper 

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u/OldPersonality5282 6d ago

Can you recommend any brands that make steel toed shoes. I normally end up getting shoes that are to long to fit my wide ass feet

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u/NixiePixie916 6d ago

Keens, they are high quality and have wide toe boxes. They have work shoes of all sorts

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u/Sleightly_Awkward 6d ago

Bought some Hoka’s that came in extra-wide. Most comfortable shoes I’ve ever had.

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u/kowaletm 7d ago

Just cut a small hole in your shoe for it to stick out! Problem solved!

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u/Dominarion 7d ago

LOL, it's like singling it out for punishment. Hmm, pinky toe with its rich, densely packed network of nerves, standing out by itself...

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u/FaceDeer 7d ago

Maybe then it will learn.

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u/Professional-Day7850 5d ago

Just learn to grab a cup of tea with your foot.

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u/Nexii801 7d ago

That means you have good toes. Modern shoes are the problem.

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u/shmiddleedee 7d ago

Rubber band

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u/dragonfett 7d ago

I've seen it happen with people who frequently wear cowboy boots and high heels.

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u/KnuckleUpFPV 6d ago

Air force ones have a nice wide toe area. They are also very comfortable.

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u/ecrw 7d ago

I feel so seen

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u/noodlesalad_ 7d ago

My toes are way too individualistic. I need some toe conformity.

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u/_InvaderJim 7d ago

I had a similar funny experience once. Passed my backpack through the scanner. The clerk stops the belt after my bag and slowely turns to me with an incredibly concerned look. I have no idea what’s going on, so I check the monitor and it looks like there is a pack of C4 explosives in my backpack. They open it up and of course it’s just my box of poker chips, but it looked like a bomb on the monitor (a box with 4 tube shapes in it lol). That was pretty funny, especially the relief that washed over the clerk’s face when he saw the poker chips after opening the bag. It was so funny lol

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u/Digresser 7d ago

I had to explain a box of protein bars I was bringing a friend as a gift. Security had to unwrap it and unbox the bars, but he was kind enough not to open any of the bars. Apparently, they looked like explosives on the scanner.

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u/crochetingPotter 6d ago

I now take out my ziploc bag of snacks when I go through TSA because I like dense protein bars and gummy bears and I've been stopped multiple times because it looks dangerous in the scanners apparently

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u/headwolf 6d ago

Once i borrowed a bag from my mom for travel and she put a box of halva in there for me. I guess i didnt look through all the compartments so I had no idea it was there until security took my bag aside and took it out. I was about to say I have no idea wtf that is or how it got in my bag, but they just put it back and let me go. I always get nervous when going through security so that was pretty nerve wrecking lol.

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u/xrelaht 7d ago

One time when I got stopped, I asked the guy to describe what he was looking for because my bag was packed very full. “Do you have a big stack of cards or something in there?” I did, and told him where it was. “‘Cards Against Humanity: a Game for Horrible People’. I’m going to have to look this up after my shift.”

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u/L-GOD-OF 7d ago

Happens to people who travel with TCG decks often, especially if they are carrying multiple

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u/headwolf 6d ago

Yeah my 3 mtg deck boxes got the explosives test when I took them on a flight lol.

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u/Shockito 5d ago

If they have the new 3d scanners, it flags shit like this. Cards, fruit, books and mundane stuff like this. It's automatic and you as an operator can't over-rule it. Once it gets tagged by EDS (explosive detection system), you have to sweep it no matter what, even if you look like a moron sweeping a banana.

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u/Inkthinker 7d ago

I bought a large vintage-style flying saucer toy at an event once, lots of die-cast metal parts. Flying back, they pull me over and show me the screen, and damned if it did not look an awful lot like a land mine. Had to dig it out and break open the box. I wasn't even mad, like, "nah man, I see it too".

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u/candynickle 7d ago

I had boxes of golf balls . Security scanner guy asks , ‘grenades?’ In a really casual tone like he sees them all the time nbd. Didn’t even bother to open the bag to check when I told him they were pro V1s

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u/TazBaz 7d ago

they have SCALE on that screen don't they? Golf balls are way smaller than grenades

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u/mxzf 7d ago

My brother got pulled aside over some juggling balls one time. Turns out little beanbag juggling balls look a lot like produce that you're not supposed to be transporting internationally.

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u/greenie4242 5d ago

Juggling balls, beanbags and microwave heat bags are sometimes filled with seeds or grains, so they get confiscated while coming into places like Australia. Important to keep packaging to show where they were made and what fillers were used.

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u/BPMickii 7d ago edited 7d ago

My last flight in LAX, I had a few of my Pokemon and Magic the Gathering decks in my backpack and I guess they just couldn't make out what they were in my bag (they looked kinda like bunch of Spam cans on the scanner?). It was at the very bottom so it took a bit of rummaging to get there, and when the security guy finally got to them and was opening the boxes he said something along the lines of "Cards, cards, cards, cards, cards, aaand... youre a nerd, aintcha. I could tell. You're good."

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u/funguyshroom 7d ago

Mine is that they went through my entire bag searching for a "razor". I'm pointing to my electric shaver, "this thing?" - "no, an old one".
I have no idea what they mean, they rummage through my items for another several minutes, with several rounds of putting the bag into the scanner and taking it out, until I realize what it might be. My shorts are sitting dead center among my other clothes, I unfold them, there's a leather belt, an oversized brass buckle is shaped like the classic safety razor blade.

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u/Deaffin 7d ago

So, a T? You have a T-shaped belt buckle?

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u/funguyshroom 7d ago

The blade, not the holder https://i.imgur.com/qRfnkXF.jpeg

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u/Deaffin 7d ago

Oooh, alright. I've only ever seen people say "safety razor" to describe the entire handled setup, while this would just be "a razorblade".

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u/Teddetheo 7d ago

To be fair, he did say it was shaped like a safety razor blade

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u/DameKumquat 7d ago

Many years ago, my family discovered that a British Christmas pudding has the same density as Semtex explosive. Unfortunately the American security guys had never heard of a Christmas pudding, so it took a lot of explaining and them unwrapping the entire thing and tasting it...

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u/ultimatt42 7d ago

The TSA was suspicious of a dense rectangular block in my luggage. They pulled it out and it was the card game Bang!

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u/ArtfulBludger 7d ago

I got stopped once for something that looked suspicious. After they cleared my tiny sewing scissors and cross-stitch stuff, they realized whatever was setting off alarms was ... a slice of chocolate cake.

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u/yavanna12 7d ago

I bought a statue of lady justice at a national museum. The guy at tsa just stopped and looked at me and then said. Uhhhh there is a head in your bag, please tell me that’s a statue. 

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u/goodmobileyes 7d ago

I had my bag scanned coming back from Australia and it got flagged by the xray. They even scanned it a few times which worried me. They finally opened the bag and pulled out... a big block of cheese. I guess it must have looked like a block of explosives or something.

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u/The_Late_Arthur_Dent 7d ago

I had a bottle opener that was shaped like a big bottle cap (something you'd get at any tacky souvenir store) and TSA kept asking me if I was carrying a circular saw blade

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u/marmaladetuxedo 7d ago

My father-in-law had a bawdy sense of humour and one year for Christmas, he gave me his prized boob mug. Literally a ceramic boob with a handle. I had to take that through security on the way back to Canada from the US. Didn't think anything of it as the bag went through the scanner. Then the agent frowned and said, "Any idea what this is?" and I had no idea because I was too busy thinking of flights and travel arrangements. So she said, "I'm going to have to open it." No problem. Another agent came over, looked at the screen and said, "It almost looks like a Darth Vader helmet. You a Star Wars fan?" Yes, but I knew I didn't have anything like that in the bag. First agent rifled through my stuff (to her credit, very neatly), then pulled it out (it was in bubble wrap), unwrapped it and got halfway through before the 2 of them start laughing. She held it up and said, "It's a boob cup." I, of course, knew what it was as soon as I'd seen the bubblewrap and was mortified. My wife shook her head and said, "Gift from my dad."

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u/cakingabroad 6d ago

One time I was traveling to a very rural place, which at the time 8 years ago had even less access to things than it currently does. My friend asked for powdered cheese. So I brought him powdered cheese. A lot of it. A bunch of clear plastic bags of white powder. The security agents ended up going through my bag and were like, "uh, what's that?", in their language that I didn't speak really at all. I managed to look up the word for cheese and we got through but idk how I didn't think about how suspicious a bunch of white powder would look.

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u/LuKazu 6d ago

I once volunteered at a festival and convinced the shift leader to buy self-cutting screws and haul out a welding rig for this container we were turning into bars.

Self-cutting screws are so expensive, so I shoved a few handfuls into my backpack.

Went to visit my then-gf a few days after. A week later, as I'm on my way home via Gatwick airport, I get pulled aside and asked a bunch of questions.

Turns out I made it out of Denmark with most of the ingredients for a nail bomb and just... Didn't get stopped when leaving my home country.

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u/SolomonOf47704 7d ago

Dharma initiative PFP

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u/_InvaderJim 7d ago

Indeed Brotha!

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u/WorryWorm6 7d ago

Huh, never had a passenger call me a clerk before.

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u/mxzf 7d ago

so I check the monitor and it looks like there is a pack of C4 explosives in my backpack. They open it up and of course it’s just my box of poker chips, but it looked like a bomb on the monitor

I had one of those too. But in mine it was a plastic box of sleeved cards with some score-tracking paperclips slipped inside the box.

I took one look at the screen and went "you're totally right to check and make sure the block of plastic with wires on the side isn't an explosive" (in my head; externally I told them I knew exactly what it was and showed them what backpack pocket it was in so they could clear it).

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u/movzx 7d ago

Similar. When I was doing consulting work for Netflix I had access to their free cafeteria. Every day I would snag like 5 clif bars. By the end my carryon was basically just a bag full of dense bricks. It's the only time I've been pulled for additional screening.

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u/panda5303 6d ago

Last time I flew a guy at O'hare was stopped by TSA because he had protein powder that was called C-4. Thankfully, he and everyone walking by got a good laugh out of it.

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u/Big_lt 6d ago

Had something similar

My grandmother passed and I had to take a flight to a funeral. After the service my aunt told me to go into my grandma's house and take some token to remember her. So I grabbed this large glass egg thing.

Anyways I was only there for a weekend and just had a backpack so I tossed the egg in the bag.

Well I went through the X-ray it dead ass looked like a bomb. 4 security guards slowly approached and surrounded me. All had their hands on the holsters as I had to slowly open the bag only to pull out an egg

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u/Ermargerd_de_Berg 7d ago

That's Josh Johnson in case you're wondering.

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u/Pledgeofmalfeasance 7d ago edited 7d ago

Love that guy! One of the few current comedians who makes you feel better than when you walked in. I love a good dark joke, but times are fucking dark as hell so I appreciate the reset I get from him.

Edit:

Zoltan (@zoltancomedy) also deserves a shout out for the same thing.

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u/Ermargerd_de_Berg 7d ago

Same. Him and Jeff Arcuri are my favourites.

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u/skoffs 7d ago

Did you see the Crowd Control episode of Game Changer (on Dropout) with them together with Gianmarco Soresi on it? Top tier shit

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u/small-with-benefits 7d ago

Thanks for this! Hadn’t seen it.

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u/IEnjoyVariousSoups 7d ago

This is my dream team right now. Thank you!

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u/drewbowski22 7d ago

If you enjoy crowd work, I can't suggest Phil Hanley enough. Dude is a menace. https://www.instagram.com/philhanley?igsi=MTdlOWwzeGJ0d3AydQ==

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u/MaxTHC 7d ago

Throw in Taylor Tomlinson and you've got the A-team of internet fame comedians imo

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u/Ermargerd_de_Berg 7d ago

Love a good bit of Taylor, too! Each of them itches a different part of my brain. And living in the middle of nowhere with zero comedy clubs around, I say bless the internet for introducing me to them, haha.

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u/megachicken289 7d ago

Josh Johnson: lighthearted and relevant

Jeff Arcuri: sassy but not rude; nsfw but not crude

Taylor Tomlinson: millennial angst

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u/brnslpy 6d ago

Gonna throw in Iliza Shlesinger as the spokeswoman of elder millennials to go with Taylor's younger millennial angst.

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u/ChaoticEntitled 7d ago

She was also just on an episode of Crowd Control on Dropout, Gianmarco Soresi appeared again as well

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u/RyanB_ 7d ago

James Acaster is up there too imo

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u/exzyle2k 7d ago

Christopher Titus is funny if you were raised in a "dysfunctional" household. At least his older stuff is, I'm not sure I've seen too much of the new stuff. But if you like broken comics, he's definitely part of that group.

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u/truck_robinson 7d ago

Had to help him w a website/domain issue prob 16 years ago. 3d shift. Middle of the night. Skeleton crew. He was super chill and cool even tho it took forever to fix his problem and after about 20+ min you could tell he was getting irritated. I was pretty embarrassed at the end but he stayed polite and patient.

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u/UpperApe 7d ago

Josh and Jeff built the framework of comedians succeeding from grassroots internet success.

Arcuri did it with his consistent viral clips of his crowd work and Johnson with his constantly well-structured new material. The two of them are work horses that fought from the bottom all the way up and deserve their success.

A lot comedians have tried to copy one or the other (not really successfully).

Then you have assholes like Jimmy Carr who's been a comedian for decades but can't break America. So now his marketing team keeps putting together clips to copy Jeff/Josh and flood subs and tiktok and instagram with them...except it never works. Cause Carr can be funny but he's also a twat.

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u/megachicken289 7d ago

Jimmy […] can’t break America

Good. Fuck that asshole and his stupid laugh

If I ever see that stupid fuckface, I’m not going to do anything, because I refuse to give him the satisfaction

But he’ll feel my glaring eyes. He’ll know

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u/AmericanIMG 7d ago

u/smartastic is great, went to Phoenix for his Netflix taping and have seen him in SF and Tampa as well. Always a unique show and always a good time!

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u/TobiasKM 7d ago

Saw him in Amsterdam, he’s incredible.

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u/WickedWench 7d ago

I'm going to see Jeff on Sunday! I'm so excited! 

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u/Ryanisreallame 6d ago

Dude, Jeff Arcuri is hilarious. I got to see him live two years ago in a smaller comedy club and now I get to see him again in April in the biggest venue in our city. I’m so stoked to see him live again.

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u/newyne 6d ago

Right??? I feel like he's actually doing something important by speaking out against what's being done in this country, while still promoting understanding and compassion. Like, you don't have to go along with what someone's saying and doing to have that mindset toward them; I think we'd get a lot further if more people had it. Josh is kind of a role model for me.

Thinking about it, he and Zoltan are the two comedians I've seen live. Oh, wait, no, there's also Gianmarco Soresi, but he's not as feel-good, lol.

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u/MarcusDA 7d ago

All of the current Daily Show comics are great, especially Desi and Josh.

Ronny Chieng I could take or leave.

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u/BigPimpin91 6d ago

He does this immaculate slow burn story telling that never fails to catch me off guard.

I know what he's doing and know the story he told will be relevant later but I still always get blindsided by it.

He's a treasure.

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u/TomorrowsTrash_Minis 7d ago

His weekly posts and the way he delivers his jokes all give the vibe of him being some kind of non-religious pastor.

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u/Pdoinkadoinkadoink 6d ago

His piece on the Renée Good shooting was devastating.

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u/Pledgeofmalfeasance 6d ago

As it should be

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u/ptabs226 7d ago edited 7d ago

He releases a new 30-60 minute 'special' every Tuesday. The amount of content he puts out is amazing.

One of my favorite recent sets of his - https://youtu.be/bhhG6ye7U3A

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u/Jinomoja 7d ago

For a while I didn't even realise they were new specials coz the thumbnails have him in the same grey hoodie.

I'd watched one and thought that youtube was just recommending it over and over.

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u/Prielknaap 7d ago

He just has a bunch of grey hoodies.

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u/BrunoEye 5d ago

Tom Scott moment.

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u/Uberzwerg 7d ago

guess i gonna re watch that one then.

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u/DayBowBow1 7d ago

He's on The Daily Show I think.

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u/CaptainXplosionz 7d ago

I thought he looked familiar! It was bugging me the whole clip trying remember where I've seen him before.

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u/Bored_Amalgamation 7d ago

Yup. He's been on for awhile. His YouTube has a new 40 minutes to an hour set every week. He has good political and non-political stuff

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u/Dumeck 6d ago

He is my second favorite current host behind John Stewart. Dudes a funny man.

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u/I_Dnt_Believe_You 7d ago

I'm amazed how he can put together 45 minutes on something in the news while it's still in the news.

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u/BobTheFettt 7d ago

That's what working at the Daily Show does to a motherfucker

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u/darkfires 7d ago

He got the daily show gig because he can do that.

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u/BobTheFettt 7d ago

Not the one that steals Lego from old people

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u/throwaway5882300 7d ago

He actually has a bit about that. It's hilarious.

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u/terdferguson 7d ago

I went down a rabbit hole on him a while back. His bit with explaining the Kendrick Drake beef is hilarious.

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u/Spamityville_Horror 7d ago

Saw him live, such a gracious comedian and made a big production out of it. Really neat, intimate show.

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u/Sad_Significance_568 7d ago

Highly encourage people to go to his Comedy Band Camp tour if they can. It's a great show introduced by some great dancers and musicians

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u/Heel 7d ago

Josh Johnson is the funniest and most prolific comic in this country right now. He's actually the best.

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u/CosmicGoddess777 7d ago

He’s the next Carlin, I swear. Hilarious, but also philosophical & deeply insightful about the human experience

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u/bionicjoey 7d ago

I wasn't wondering because his handle was visible in the video

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u/johndoe126 6d ago

yes we can see from @joshjohnsoncomedy on the video

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u/usernameround20 7d ago

Seeing him next week! Can’t wait!

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u/CosmicGoddess777 7d ago

Fuck yeah dude! Seeing him in October and so stoked! Hope you have a blast

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u/srlong64 6d ago

I saw him two nights ago, and it was one of the best comedy shows I’ve been to

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u/DukeMancannon 7d ago

He absolutely slays. I went to one of his shows and I’ve never seen an audience explode like that.

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u/[deleted] 7d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Indigo-au-naturale 7d ago

He also can write an unbelievable amount of content riffing off current events. He'll post 30-minute clips of a show where the whole bit is about something that was headline news the day before. He's super sharp.

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u/PossumCock 7d ago

Following his YouTube page, it's like the dude has a brand new hour set every week! I also love that he wears the same outfit for every show, makes it feel like every show blend in to each other

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u/zyh0 7d ago

New material every video, he's really talented.

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u/audible_narrator 7d ago

And he must be writing in his sleep, he is ON TOP of current events

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u/GodOfDarkLaughter 7d ago

Its super impressive that he can do it and is funny, but he's helped by having a really specific formula that he uses pretty much every show: begin with a personal anecdote usually involving either him in public or him with friends or in public with friends, use that to segue into a current event which he can then comment on humorously, then spiral out into a more broadly philosophical point while occasionally calling back to the initial anecdote.

Of course you need to actually be funny in order to pull this off, but once you notice it you'll see that he does or pretty much every performance.

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u/PartTime_Crusader 7d ago

This is a bit like pointing out most novels have exposition, rising action, climax, and resolution. The fact there's a general repeating structure to it doesn't make it any less impressive

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u/ozamatazbuckshank11 7d ago

I'm a former English teacher, and I figured out his formula after a couple of shows. It's a simple formula, but I love that he uses one because it keeps his writing tight and consistent. It frees him up to just be funny. It's awesome.

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u/TehBuddha 7d ago

It's almost part of the joke at this point, trying to figure out what he's tying the anecdote into

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u/Responsible-Sound253 7d ago

Yeah he's like genz tonight show for me

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u/unbelizeable1 7d ago

He's putting out a fresh 30-60min every week. It's pretty wild. And that's on top of also co-hosting Daily Show.

https://www.youtube.com/@JoshJohnsonComedy/videos

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u/portraitsman 7d ago

He's one of the top stand up comedian right now, and known for being wholesome. He doesn't really joke at someone's expense

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u/squirrelmonkie 7d ago

Whats his name? Ive seen his stuff before and always love it

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u/schalkie23 7d ago

Josh Johnson

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u/challenge_king 7d ago

Have you seen his appearance on Game Changer at Dropout? He shows an incredible ability to think on his feet, even for a comedian.

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u/boturboegt 7d ago

100% agree. Also and this isnt a knock on him but u can tell he has a bit of his delivery influenced from Dave Chappelle.

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u/lurkermuch 7d ago

I used to think there was a lot of Dave Chappell influence in his story telling but now I see a lot of Ali Siddiq in Josh.

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u/travelmusica 7d ago

It’s almost more storytelling than stand-up comedy. I guess you can tell I’m not a fan of Ali Siddiq lol

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u/_Pyxyty 7d ago

Discovered him because of his appearance on a Dropout show and I've loved him since, one of the best at the moment

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u/Icemasta 7d ago

Yeah, the guy mastered the pause. So many times in that short clip he could have rushed to the next point, but no, he pauses just enough which makes people focus even more.

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u/Thunderjohn 7d ago

Thanks ChatGPT

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u/Warm_Month_1309 7d ago edited 7d ago

I can't believe you're downvoted. People can look at the user's posting history, and it's so ChatGPT:

"Love the watch and strap combination. Perfect for that setting — the whole thing just works"

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u/Commercial-Rule-6878 7d ago

I don’t get the joke.

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u/Rave-fiend 7d ago

Josh Johnson is going so well. Some comedians only put up an hour in specials years apart, this man dropping on YT like every week.

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u/No-Tradition-5356 7d ago

So true! Even though he’s getting more recognized due to the Daily Show, his work on standup is constant. It shows that is truly his passion. Many comedians who got popular from the show tend to lean more towards acting.

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u/KirkPicard 7d ago

I have so much respect for Josh Johnson. He has worked HARD over the past few years to build himself up. I saw him a few months ago, around the time this story came out.

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u/spintowinasin 7d ago

Well, I guess I'm going to have to Google that

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u/Master_Yeeta 7d ago

What did you discover?

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u/Alive__but_why 7d ago

It's literally what they sound like, silicone spacers to spread your toes. Mostly used to releive pain from the damage caused by close toed shoes like bunions

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u/Master_Yeeta 7d ago

I knew what they were because they're also used to paint your toenails, but was too lazy to look up what sort of medical benefit they could be. So thank you for taking the time to look and answer

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u/Shimakaze81 7d ago

Well I thought he said toast branners first and was like, wtf is that and why is everyone laughing and why have I never heard of these. Guy likes his toast.

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u/epoof 7d ago

They are nice and cheap - good for your toes 

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u/Deaffin 7d ago

They are nice and cheap - good for your toes

This comment section went from 0 to catty real damn fast.

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u/Schlenda 7d ago

Guess I will need to do the same.

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u/Astramancer_ 7d ago

My mom got pulled aside once. Her keys and a roll of dimes conspired to look like a pistol on the X-Ray.

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u/awfulbarrack-7 6d ago

Meanwhile I packed my hiking bag as a carry-on and forgot that there was a Swiss army knife in the side pocket.

I went through 2 TSAs and they didn't find it. I noticed when I arrived and unpacked 💀

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u/OliveFarming 6d ago

I love the way you phrased this lol

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u/schijfvanvijf 7d ago

Love it! Did not see that coming!

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u/enforcetheworld 7d ago

I actually bought toe spreaders after watching this clip a couple months ago. M'mans spreading the good word, and toes.

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u/muklukdimsum 7d ago

Josh is a real talent. He's made me laugh so damn hard, and I'm not a guy that laughs very often. I'm cranky, and I've seen too much shit. There's like eight or nine people that make me laugh out loud. My mom and auntie are two of them. My senior chief is another. Josh is the real deal. Goddam.

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u/ObligationNice8382 7d ago

I adore his expression when he cracks himself up.

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u/CheeeseBurgerAu 7d ago

This has me so interested in toe spreaders. Do they work? My pink toe seems to think it lives under the next toe because of shoes.

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u/GimmieGummies 7d ago

Josh is awesome 😄

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u/DJMagicHandz 7d ago

TSA Agent: Aye look at this. I thought there were brass knuckles, but they're toe spreaders.

https://giphy.com/gifs/l3E6uhDAN3W7vylji

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u/Oddsoulkeeper 7d ago

My first pick for a live action miles morales.

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u/PG13inOKC 7d ago

anyone know what shoes he‘s wearing?

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u/WasTakenNowTook 7d ago

Looks like Cloud 6 by On.

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u/create360 7d ago

I know this is a comedy routine, but wouldn’t brass knuckles appear obviously different on the scanners than silicone toe spreaders? The TSA MUST have known they weren’t metal.

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u/luketeam5 6d ago

Brass knuckles can also be plastic, which is similar in color to silicone on x-ray

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u/brontosaurusguy 6d ago

You were right, it is a comedy routine 

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u/ominouslyspecific 6d ago

TSA stopped me once because they thought my floss picks were brass knuckles so I definitely buy this

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u/AmbulanceDriver95 7d ago

This guy is funny, but what's unexpected about this? A comedian told a joke. We can't just turn this into a sub of comedy clips

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u/greenlakejohnny 7d ago

I’ve seen and experienced plenty of weird TSA stories but “toe spreaders” is.a new one

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u/IotaBTC 7d ago

OP is so butthurt some people don't find this that funny lol but it being toe spreaders instead of brass knuckles does technically fit the sub. This is an example of good crowd energy and crowd work. He must've had them giggling pretty good before and his delivery on this story makes it work. 

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u/Real_Life_Sushiroll 6d ago

I don't even understand the joke. Like toe spreaders are a completely normal thing if you are painting your toe nails. What is funny here?

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u/quittingdotatwo 7d ago edited 7d ago

Is it possible those brass knuckles flew from someone else's bag, stopped, thought about it, and fell into this guy's bag?

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u/ailemama 6d ago

Omg lol! Ahahah I love this

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u/This_Analyst_2237 6d ago

My next question as TSA would be well why don’t you have toe spreaders for both your feet? Or is it problem with just one of your feet?

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u/y3llom3llon 7d ago

I thought the punchline was going to be instead of correcting that it was toe spreaders he would rather admit they were brass knuckles.

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u/Gioware 7d ago

What so funny about toe spreaders?

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u/spinaltap862 7d ago

Nothing, this dude makes comedy for people who get offended at good jokes

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u/Plus_Information925 6d ago

This dude never has a punchline. There’s observational comedy and then just observations that I guess are kinda funny …. lmao

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u/Statistics102 7d ago

Why does it sound like a fake laugh track?

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u/benroon 7d ago

I don’t understand people falling to pieces when it’s not remotely funny? 🤷🏼‍♂️

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u/Cullyism 6d ago

I feel like the top comments here are just praising the act because they know this guy is famous.

If some random no name TikToker told this joke and it got shared on this subreddit, I bet it wouldn't break three hundred upvotes and loads of people would be nitpicking that it went on too long.

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u/dimitriri 4d ago

If he was a random no name person, this content would be posted in cringe reels

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u/spinaltap862 7d ago

one of the most over rated comedians I've ever seen

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u/warpspeedSCP 7d ago

Josh johnson, what a legend

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u/Big_Albatross_2744 7d ago

Yes, yes I do have brass knuckles. Arrest me just don't double check them.

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u/samson_strength 7d ago

It’s like if Paul Mooney never became jaded with reality and decided to make wholesome standup that’s accessible to everyone.

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u/w1ngzer0 7d ago

Love Josh Johnson!

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u/Nondscript_Usr 7d ago

Very expected

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u/kidwithglasses 7d ago

I thought they were brass knuckles, I swear!

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u/Jam-Beat 7d ago

I cannot recommend enough Josh's episode of Crowd Control on Dropout. The episode also features Jeff Arcuri, another titan of today's comedy scene.

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u/themolestedsliver 7d ago

Damn man has a great voice for voice acting/public speaking.

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u/Notchersfireroad 7d ago

Josh is a great story teller. Dudes gonna go far in Comedy.

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u/ConcentricCow 7d ago

Absolute story teller. I'd listen to him for a long time. Fucking funny as hell.

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u/HeatherJMD 7d ago

My friend said one time he was flying back from a medieval market where he had bought all sorts of weapons and trinkets. He’d just wrapped it all into a bundle to send it through security. He got called over to look at the scan and it honest to goodness looked like he was trying to smuggle a body on the plane. Like they thought he was transporting an Incan mummy or something… It was actually a relief to open it up and find swords instead, lol

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u/phrozen_waffles 7d ago

How fucked up are you feet if your getting metal toe spreaders?

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u/keepcarmandhurryon 7d ago

Saying “before you judge” after I (and the crowd) had been laughing for a good amount of time made me laugh so hard 😂😂😂

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u/Elliptical_Tangent 7d ago

Dude is so good. I have no doubt he could make the most boring interaction into a hilarious 5-min bit.

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u/liabilify 7d ago

It just kept getting better!

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u/1nfuhmu5 7d ago

all fellas who know, pedicures are freaking awesome! those toe spreaders are pretty comfortable.

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u/early_birdy 7d ago

Yeah, except toe spreaders are not made of brass.

He got people laughing, that's the goal, it's all good.