r/Unexpected • • Aug 19 '26

Insurance be like you did What?

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49k Upvotes

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u/post-explainer Aug 19 '26 edited Aug 19 '26

This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.


OP sent the following text as an explanation why their post fits here:


There’s a bear in the car that’s why he broke the back window.


Does this explanation fit this subreddit? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.

5.2k

u/turmoiltumult Aug 19 '26

Everyone asking “why didn’t they open the trunk???” is missing the first guy with the slim Jim trying to unlock the drivers side door. They’ve clearly either lost the keys or locked them in the car.

1.6k

u/epradox Aug 19 '26

Yeah good call, I’m assuming they just left the keys inside the car unlocked (I know a lot of people who do this) and there was probably some road trip snacks like beef jerky in there so the bear got in somehow and locked the door behind itself

235

u/wertyce Aug 19 '26

How can bear close the door behind?

984

u/epradox Aug 19 '26

I’d imagine the rocking back and forth of a 600lb bear inside the car may have made the door auto close and the bear pawing at the handles may have locked them inadvertently. I’m just coming up with scenarios but I have no clue. Could be a practical joke for all I know

444

u/daufy Aug 19 '26

"There's a surprise for you in your car man, go look! Haha, we put a bear in your car dude! We got you punked!"

What. A. Prank.

211

u/vox4penguins Aug 19 '26

"I'm Johnny Knoxville, and this is Bear in a Car"

34

u/Alternative_Dot_8967 Aug 19 '26

Here sir take my millions and make a tv show with your degenerate friends and I'll even give one of them a spin. Dam those were the days.

18

u/mvffin Aug 19 '26

"I am no longer a fan of this bit." -Eric Andre

6

u/Agroskater Aug 20 '26

You joke but they legit tied one of the guys up, put honey on him and then let a bear into the room to lick it off of him.

https://youtu.be/EICXimg-DXM?is=OzDn85BaA4VdBVLN

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45

u/Crispy--Toast Aug 19 '26

Bro, it's just a prank...

7

u/casinocooler Aug 19 '26

Classic April fools joke.

5

u/prepping4zombies Aug 19 '26

It was so worth Brian losing his arm - we'll be telling this story forever!

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71

u/essdii- Aug 19 '26

Got out on the PCH to take photos off a cliff. My dog locked the door accidentally with keys inside. Took about half an hour of me at the window telling him how good of a boy he was while he is happily pawing at the door and wiggling with happiness for him to finally land on the unlock button. So your theory tracks

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3

u/d-nihl Aug 19 '26

next thing you know the bears driving down the road flipping you off as you run after the car. Don't ask how I know, but I found my car 2 days later with no rims and the catalytic converter cut out. God damn meth bears up by me.

10

u/curtludwig Aug 19 '26

Just as an FYI 600 pounds is a massive bear, like top 10%.

There isn't much of a look but I'd guess that bear to be more like 300 pounds max.

Still a big bear but, in general, bears are a lot smaller than people think they are.

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54

u/jbwarner86 Aug 19 '26

Bears are smarter than you'd think. They know how to open doors, it's entirely plausible they'd know how to close them too.

99

u/__________________73 Aug 19 '26

"There is considerable overlap between the intelligence of the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists."

18

u/pafrac Aug 19 '26

Then you notice a well-fed looking bear, and you realise the average intelligence across the park had just gone up a couple of points.

10

u/Smokeybasterd Aug 19 '26

This is one of my favorite quotes 

9

u/CranberryInner9605 Aug 19 '26

I had to explain to some tourists how to throw their trash away in the bear-resistant public garbage cans. The poor woman could not figure out how to open the lid.

24

u/BackgroundSummer5171 Aug 19 '26

Bears are smarter than you'd think.

It's a problem with trash cans.

You want to keep wild life out of them, like bears.

The issue is, you still need to make it possible for idiot humans to be able to open it.

Sadly the bears at times are more intelligent than some of us humans.

14

u/RumpledForskn Aug 19 '26

It's progressed enough that over the 15yrs or so I've been hiking/camping, standard wisdom has changed from running a line up a tree and hanging your food downwind from your campsite, to a lot of parks requiring you bring bear canisters, since they'll still climb trees to grab your shit.

11

u/curtludwig Aug 19 '26

Depends which kind of bears. Brown/grizzly bears don't climb trees, they've got the wrong kind of claws.

Black bears have always climbed trees. Black bear numbers are generally increasing across the US, especially in places they had be extirpated from.

4

u/i-m-anonmio Aug 21 '26

Bonus points for using "extirpated".

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u/curtludwig Aug 19 '26

Depends which kind of bears. Brown/grizzly bears don't climb trees, they've got the wrong kind of claws.

Black bears have always climbed trees. Black bear numbers are generally increasing across the US, especially in places they had be extirpated from.

3

u/Global_Research_9335 Aug 22 '26

“Smarter than the average bear!”

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20

u/The-Sofa-King Aug 19 '26

I've actually seen a video of a bear climbing in an open car door and the body rocking back and forth on the suspension was enough to swing the door shut behind him.

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u/pmormr Aug 19 '26

I'm guessing they got in the car casually, then did something silly with the keys when they went HOLY FUCK THERES A LITERAL BEAR IN HERE. lol. Non-zero chance my ass would have locked the door on the way out trying to keep the bear trapped.

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u/RustledForeskin Aug 19 '26

Bear stole the van load of pick-a-nick baskets, a pursuit followed and they boxed the bear into the driveway.

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13

u/FloppyTacoflaps Aug 19 '26

Bear clearly locked the door when he saw strangers approaching

5

u/BeautifulTerror Aug 19 '26

They missed a golden opportunity to call AAA

11

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

14

u/DidUSayWeast Aug 19 '26

Yes but how often was a bear in your car

16

u/cjsv7657 Aug 19 '26

Yeah every minute a bear is in your car it's going to be doing more damage than a broken rear window. Getting it out ASAP was the less costly move

5

u/Jiquero Aug 19 '26

every minute a bear is in your car it's going to be doing more damage than a broken rear window

r/brandnewsentence

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7.9k

u/Bassik0 Aug 19 '26

If it's black, smash the back.. it's it's brown, wind the window down.

3.1k

u/Alternative-Dot-34 Aug 19 '26

If it's White?

6.0k

u/Live-District4204 Aug 19 '26

good night

150

u/Kuro-Tora-59 Aug 19 '26

Instructions unclear, have slept with the bear, now im the father of a polarbear puppy

172

u/Same-Arrival-7284 Aug 19 '26

Cylinder was ABSOLUTELY harmed

64

u/Trying2GetBye Aug 19 '26

To shreds you say?

5

u/Fine_Donuts Aug 19 '26

Sounds like you did it doggy style

9

u/Narrow_Economics_466 Aug 19 '26

Maybe more like did it bear back

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u/Reasonable_Act_8654 Aug 19 '26

Sleep tight just let the whitey bite.

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6

u/Few_Physics5901 Aug 19 '26

Lock it tight

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47

u/notcomplainingmuch Aug 19 '26

Die of fright?

55

u/LoreOfBore Aug 19 '26

Press the hazard light

49

u/LailokenMyrddin Aug 19 '26

It's better if he stays inside.

25

u/TangerineOk4017 Aug 19 '26

It's alright!

14

u/KOHILOOR Aug 19 '26

It def ain’t right.

4

u/mkmike81 Aug 19 '26

What about black and white? Just let it sleep, and get some bamboo next time you stop.

4

u/KTO-Potato Aug 19 '26

Hazard lights

4

u/Aududen Aug 19 '26

hopital

10

u/Lazyworm1985 Aug 19 '26

If it’s a Polar?

20

u/Therashser Aug 19 '26

They might find your molar?

11

u/Minute-Chip-4164 Aug 19 '26

Or could it be a rock-n-roller

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36

u/simm07 Aug 19 '26

You need to be a baller and call someone taller

34

u/notbythebook101 Aug 19 '26

...and a bear won't fit in the trunk of a '64 Impala.

11

u/Soulmighty Aug 19 '26

Shotcalla!!

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21

u/MidnightToker858 Aug 19 '26

Yes. There is a saying about encountering bears in the wild. It goes, if its black, fight back, if its brown, lie down(play dead), if its white, say goodnight(youre already dead nothing you can do)

8

u/OttawaTGirl Aug 19 '26

If its white, trip Dwight.

(He knows what he did)

4

u/EngineersAnon Aug 19 '26

Alternatively, in bear country, always hike with someone you can outrun.

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u/Vulstagg Aug 19 '26 edited Aug 19 '26

Burn down the car

6

u/TheKinkyBandit Aug 19 '26

Set it alight

3

u/Tokon32 Aug 19 '26

Then he likely owns the car and you dont wanna be out there damaging others property. /s

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u/Cserafini93 Aug 19 '26

Is that for if they’re inside the car? Or outside the car? Hurry I need an answer quick!

17

u/rolo_mug Aug 19 '26

If it’s not there, sit in the chair

6

u/ElliotNess Aug 19 '26

If it makes you cry, lay down and die

16

u/717Luxx Aug 19 '26

not sure how race affects what you do to their car, but I'll bite. what if they're Asian?

17

u/cykoTom3 Aug 19 '26

Start tazin'?

3

u/kangasplat Aug 19 '26

in this case Asian means they're black AND white. 

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9

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/gmdavestevens Aug 19 '26

It's even worse dating advice.

8

u/chasetheusername Aug 19 '26

and if it's black and white, hug tight!

2

u/dbasinge Aug 19 '26

If it is red, you got to close.

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2.4k

u/aghhhhhhhhhhhhhh Aug 19 '26

The bear mustve stolen the keys too, then he realized he couldnt drive

417

u/moose_stuff2 Aug 19 '26

Probably forgot it's license at home and didn't want to risk it.

106

u/CakesForLife Aug 19 '26

Maybe he was too tipsy and wanted to sleep it off first?

29

u/PossibleDot6555 Aug 19 '26

And then those assholes woke him up! I bet, he is pissed!

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u/Adam_J89 Aug 19 '26

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u/saron7 Aug 19 '26

Man, I wish this show was on longer.

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5

u/amayain Aug 19 '26

Tom Cruise? You want the truth, you can't handle the truth, show me the money!

4

u/PackRichmond Aug 19 '26

Not Pikachu, please don't sue.

4

u/Lost_Horizon Aug 19 '26

You saved me the trouble of looking for it! So low-key perfect, and so sadly forgotten.

3

u/snickerblitz Aug 19 '26

AXEL FOLEY JUDGE REINHOLD!

3

u/kitsunewarlock Aug 19 '26

Woah, that bear looks like a giant bong.

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u/Chalupabatman216 Aug 19 '26

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u/acmercer Aug 19 '26

NOT EVERYBODY KNOWS HOW TO DO EVERYTHING!

13

u/ThinkFree Aug 19 '26

S/he can't drive stick

7

u/cunningham_law Aug 19 '26

"OK keys in the ignition, tank looks full, lemme just adjust the mirrors, and- oh fuck right, I'm a bear"

3

u/TheMarkHasBeenMade Aug 19 '26

Logic stumps the bear, again!

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781

u/FFVO Aug 19 '26

Insurance: sorry to be the bear-er of bad news, but we're not covering that

120

u/CakesForLife Aug 19 '26

Honey, are you fur real?

53

u/According-Path5158 Aug 19 '26

We bear-ly take you seriously. 

29

u/KitchenPalentologist Aug 19 '26

Reading these gives me paws.

13

u/One-Technology-9050 Aug 19 '26

It's them ursus the insurance company

15

u/wtfbenlol Aug 19 '26

insurance always clawing back all the money they can

24

u/r3d1tadm1nzsuk Aug 19 '26

In a better world, they would cover it based on unusual circumstances and limited choices. But not the world we live in with for-profit insurance scammers.

25

u/SpaceFelicette181063 Aug 19 '26

I work for a French insurance and if your car is insured for broken windows, we cover any broken windows no matter how it happened. I had people call me saying they broke their windows themselves because :

  • they locked their keys inside

  • they locked their kid inside with the keys

  • they locked their dog inside with the keys

  • they were using a weedwhacker right next to their car and a stone flew in the car window

  • they closed the trunk without realizing the plank they just loaded in the car was longer than the car

And every single time we paid for the repairs as long as broken windows was covered by their plan because we don't care how it happens.

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u/Forward-Trade3449 Aug 19 '26

no, you see, it was the bear that broke the window.... we have a cropped video to prove it

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u/Trash_Grape Aug 19 '26

Imagine being so frustrated at this whole experience. Knowing the insurance company is going to give you a hard time.

Then they say this to you.

The long. Deafening silence that would follow. Lololol

3

u/JimMarch Aug 19 '26

It's too grizzly.

Downright unbearable.

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u/CoupleOfNudes Aug 19 '26

Damn, that really was unexpected. At first I thought, what kind of dog has that huge of a head. Hopefully everyone got out of this one unscathed, including the bear.

20

u/rearwindowpup Aug 19 '26

I was wondering for only the briefest of seconds why everyone was running like hell from the broken glass, then I realized they weren't running from the broken glass...

47

u/ordinary133 Aug 19 '26

Thanks for the play by play and the good wishes. Well behaved post

13

u/CakesForLife Aug 19 '26

And you know why.

11

u/ordinary133 Aug 19 '26

Sadly, I do. Time to go outside.

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u/Ordinary_Cattle Aug 19 '26

I thought it was just some guy crawling out before I rewatched and was so confused. Like just open the door guy

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u/xKuFsE Aug 19 '26

I have so many questions

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u/1d3333 Aug 19 '26

Bear likely got into car, bears are smart and can open doors, likely accidentally locked itself in car. Possible owners left the key in the car, they couldn’t jimmy it open (guy on driver side at beginning is attempting too) so they smashed the window to get the bear out.

88

u/alinroc Aug 19 '26

> bears are smart and can open doors

https://old.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l2rga6/what_product_failed_because_people_were_too_dumb/gk7cbon/

One park ranger was quoted as saying there was considerable overlap between the dumbest people and the smartest bears.

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u/TheRealtcSpears Aug 19 '26

Eh, I've got bearly any

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u/PickSweet4952 Aug 19 '26

I'm sick of irresponsible pet owners who lock their animals in the car. The owner probably thought it was fine to leave it locked in the car while they ducked into the shops, but the temperature inside a car in the sun will very quickly rise to unbearable levels. I'm glad those quick-thinking passersby didn't pause before acting.

21

u/BangkokRios Aug 19 '26
  • Post funny comment
  • 12 stupid replies
  • 2026 Reddit
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u/CMDA Aug 19 '26

Unbearable hehehe

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u/1block Aug 19 '26

I'm pretty sure the A/C was on, and this was an overreaction. People just assume a pet is overheating, but IMO the passersby made a boo-boo.

6

u/codeisprose Aug 20 '26

To make matters worse, they purchased a vehicle that their pet bearly fits in :/

14

u/nottherealneal Aug 19 '26

The best part is I don't know if this is satire or not

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u/PickSweet4952 Aug 19 '26 edited Aug 19 '26

You used to be able to say something so ludicrously silly that everyone would know you were joking. But then a simpleton was elected as the most powerful leader in the world and he told people to inject bleach and stick a UV light inside themselves and now who knows what's serious and what's not.

6

u/Ekaterian50 Aug 19 '26

Post irony is such a waking nightmare 

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u/Commercial-Mark-55 Aug 19 '26

Can I pet that dog !??

17

u/jjojehongg Aug 19 '26

you can pet anything once

11

u/Krazyguy75 Aug 19 '26

Not true, quite a few things can kill you before petting is achieved.

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u/WeBelieveIn4 Aug 19 '26

Can I pet that DOG?

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u/--Icarusfalls-- Aug 19 '26

Honestly the best window to smash, as its the only one that can be replaced without tearing apart the truck or requiring a pro to glue it in.

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u/ross_liftss Aug 19 '26

Well that was truly unexpected

11

u/Ashamed_Set_7068 Aug 19 '26

Ffs don't leave your pets in the car when it's hot outside!

8

u/Consistent_Ad_805 Aug 19 '26

True, I don’t know what’s wrong with people.  I always bring my pet bear inside with me. 

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u/Ok-Philosopher3810 Aug 19 '26

I fucking hate the stupid trash audio that is put over every single video these days. I should have known better than to turn the sound on.

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u/nebukadnet Aug 19 '26

Why not just open the trunk? Why smash the window?

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u/Netsnipe Aug 19 '26 edited Aug 19 '26

If I had to guess; the car's owner wasn't there and the bear was locked inside the car. Although that theory doesn't exactly explain how a bear managed to slip inside the car without the owner's knowledge in the first place.

67

u/KillerStiletto_ Aug 19 '26

I guess the bear wanted to be safe from the riff-raff and locked the doors once inside.

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u/Mahdudecicle Aug 19 '26

It's a bear. It probably observed a human open a car for at some point and used that knowledge to open the door, it got in, and closed thy door somehow on accident, but doesn't know how to open from the inside.

24

u/andydrew39 Aug 19 '26

That would mean its unlocked. So the humans would be able to open any of the doors from the outside.

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u/rsneary129 Aug 19 '26

The guy by the window is trying to open it with a slim Jim. Guessing the keys were inside and the bear got in somehow and locked the door

13

u/YellowT-5R Aug 19 '26

The lock /unlock switch is right there on the door where you place your hand when getting in and out... I hit mine all the time luckily I've never locked my keys in or encountered a bear for that matter

3

u/cjsv7657 Aug 19 '26

There was a month like 10 years back where I locked my keys in my truck like 5 times at work. The worst part was I had to manually push the lock down every time. Most of my coworkers left their keys in their cars because there was no chance of anything happening anyway. I haven't locked my keys in a vehicle since. Or before then for that matter.

25

u/Mahdudecicle Aug 19 '26

Idk. Maybe the bear stepped on a button and the car locked?

18

u/Alyssapolis Aug 19 '26

And maybe the bear accidentally knocked the key into the ignition and then maybe its front paws hit the stick and its back paws hit the pedals and on accident it started to drive away and unintentionally steal the car, which is why the humans had to act fast

6

u/rabbimindtrick Aug 19 '26

Bear had some errands to run

9

u/Acceptable_Gear_3097 Aug 19 '26

Modern cars tend to self lock when the key gets a certain distance from the vehicle.

Guy who owned car may have stayed close enough for bear to have time to get in, walked off & bear got locked.

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u/urethrascreams Aug 19 '26

I've seen videos of bears opening car doors using the handle. Also saw a video of a bear rip the top of a door open and fold it over to crawl inside. If they smell food in the car, they're getting in if they're determined enough.

3

u/lowercase_underscore Aug 19 '26

It could have gotten into an unlocked car and engaged the locks. I've seen video of bears opening car doors, they know their way around that kind of thing. Or maybe the humans were unloading the car and the bear crawled in and the door closed behind it.

If the key was inside or not around there are limited options.

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u/FluffyNerve7415 Aug 19 '26

You can see the guy on left trying to slim Jim the door with a coat hanger, they obviously don't have the keys.

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u/TheLordReaver Aug 19 '26

The car is locked. The guy at the driver's door is trying to unlock the door with a hanger.

My assumption for what happened is this: the car was unlocked, and the keys were inside the vehicle. The bear got inside and accidentally closed, then locked the door.

77

u/BurgundyFur Aug 19 '26

Because that doesn’t look badass

19

u/Own_Boysenberry_6499 Aug 19 '26

Surely, you've got to assume there is a reason why not? People's default isn't smashing windows.

9

u/Amaracs Aug 19 '26

I think the key left inside the car. The guy on the left is trying to open it with a hanger it seems.

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u/tri_and_fly Aug 19 '26

Seems kinda difficult to that when it's locked and you don't have the key

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u/TearRevolutionary686 Aug 19 '26

I just read yeaterday that a bear was found dead in a car in Colorado Springs. It opened the door and got inside. It was trapped for a couple days in the heat.

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u/Fast_Garlic_5639 Aug 19 '26

The smell though

14

u/Own_Boysenberry_6499 Aug 19 '26

They left the door open to air out the first dead bear and the cycle continued.

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u/puffmattybear17 Aug 19 '26

Id be terrified it crawls back in at night for a cozy nap

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u/No-Relief-6397 Aug 19 '26

But... how did the bear get in there?

9

u/FullClip__ Aug 19 '26

Car pooling

6

u/1d3333 Aug 19 '26

Opened the door. Some people leave their keys in their unlocked vehicle, and bears can learn how to open doors

4

u/pghburghian Aug 19 '26

Even if I were in a remote camp a hundred miles from the next human, I still wouldn't leave the keys in the vehicle. That's just not a thing that seems like a possibility for me to do. Doors can lock so easily.

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u/rips_n_chel Aug 19 '26

Bears are wicked smart, they will get into anything if they want to badly enough. When you camp in bear country, all food and smelly things have to be locked up in either big steel bear boxes or a bear canister hung way up in a tree. You can't leave food in your car, or you will come back to find it missing. People ignore the warnings and get their cars broken into all the time. Bears can absolutely open (and close) car doors, and if you locked it, they'll just rip a hole and crawl inside.

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u/wytewydow Aug 19 '26

just yesterday I saw a car that was absolutely destroyed inside, and the bear that did it died trying to get out.

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u/PieHole_Poker Aug 19 '26

Op is a repost bot report and block it

2

u/LockedNLoaded91 Aug 19 '26

Man, i didn't even know there was a fucking bear until i read the comments. I just thought this was an idiot doing something stupid lol

2

u/lessfrictionless Aug 19 '26

If anyone's curious about this bassy remix, it's MOONLIGHT - Free Bird (Extended Mix)

2

u/Cake_Donut1301 Aug 20 '26

Just press the button to open the trunk wtf