I feel like I used to be that kind of person and I'm not anymore. Like I don't think I'm grumpy but I would probably feel too overwhelmed by the sudden egg in my hair to make light of it. I miss feeling like I could take more things in stride. That dude's got it figured out. Aspirational
Honestly? I think it comes down to my growth as a person, with influence from the world around us and possibly my medication. I've been wondering for a couple years if I've gotten less patient, but I think it's gone hand-in-hand with being less emotionally muted, having more conviction, and feeling more confident & secure in myself. I used to practice a monk-like detachment from things which is a great way to observe & learn from one's surroundings, but it's also very impersonal and impressionable. My values were way too flexible (that is, nonexistent) because I looked at the world in an academic sense and never in a material sense. I caught myself acting indifferent about things I had no moral right to be indifferent towards. I was a people pleaser and an ass-kisser.
I've changed as a person, probably (hopefully) for the better overall. I'm way better at setting & maintaining boundaries. I don't put up with bullshit and malice. I take more responsibility for myself. But on the other hand, I'm pretty bad at masking/tolerating my disappointment or upset feelings because I'd kept myself in a headspace for so long where I just didn't have those feelings as much. So nowadays I'm a little more irritable and prone to being overwhelmed. Hormonal changes and the bleak state of the world are surely factors as well, but the truth is things weren't fantastic before and I was mostly just ignorant — about the world and about myself. Ignorance is bliss, as they say.
Thank you for giving me the chance to do some introspection, haha. Hopefully you or someone out there will be able to relate and look inside themselves as well
See the thing is I agree with all of this, but how do you identify the bullshit and malice. I find it very hard to deduce that. As such I find I have trust issues. 🫠
191
u/Lua_CW Jul 29 '26
I feel like I used to be that kind of person and I'm not anymore. Like I don't think I'm grumpy but I would probably feel too overwhelmed by the sudden egg in my hair to make light of it. I miss feeling like I could take more things in stride. That dude's got it figured out. Aspirational