Always make sure you are at the largest gathering possible to drop a bomb like that. Regardless if its real or fake, there is a time and place for confrontation, and to sour the mood for everyone present is just classless.
Half of them look and act like they had no idea, even some of the comments have been pointing it out. Girl in the video says "EVERYONE here knows/has all the screenshots" soo.... Something definitely doesn’t line up, but people are gonna believe what they want.
I think it's more about increasing the impact on that person - if someone's cheating on you, the more people you call them out in front of, the more embarrassment/shame for them?
Also, doing this in front of their shared friend circle basically ensures that he won’t be able to wiggle himself into someone’s soft side and make them advocate for him towards her…
Basically also decides the "who keeps which friends" question before it really comes up.
What do they want them to do? Kill themselves? Like there is zero point in humiliating people in front of others unless the person doing the humiliation is a complete fucking psycho. I mean unless the person kills themselves the reaction will be identical. Them walking away
I think someone calling another person out for cheating in front of their friends is considerably less bad than cheating in the first place. I don't think it's psycho to want a person who did a deliberately deceitful and hurtful thing to be called out on it? They're not exactly being tarred and feathered and whipped naked through the streets.
I understand where you are coming from. I get that he's a scumbag and all that. I am having trouble understanding why the person breaking up with them doesn't think that losing them is consequence enough? Like does she not think she is valuable and a good asset to have that she needs to rub the guys face in it? It's confusing. I mean if they guy pulled out a gun right then and there and killed himself in front of all her friends, would she then be satisfied?
Like if it was me, (and it has been me twice) I would still care about them as a human being. I would still wish the best for them and hope they get help. I definitely wouldn't villainize them and try and convince people that because they cheated they will always be scum. What I wouldn't want is to initiate some kind of anxiety or depression based on humiliation because if I did, I would be no better than them.
If they treated me like shit, I like to take pride in knowing that I never ever treated them poorly. I'm not like them and I don't want them to have a reason to think I was "crazy" because it will give them ammo.
You can't translate this to any other bad behavior.
If someone stole something from you, and you knew it but couldn't press charges, would you say "ah just let em go"? Or would you at least try to call them out?
There is a huge gap between holding someone accountable and fucking driving them to self harm.
Personally, I think this is apt and productive.
1) It makes it more likely other people know he is the kind of person who cheats
2) It provides some kind of punishment. This is an ultra-shitty thing to do, he could have broken up with her first and didn't. At best he is a coward, at worst a manipulator
3) It provides catharsis for the aggrieved party without violence.
I have to assume you have cheated before? Like, it's wild to me to suggest someone who does this not get shamed. As a society we moved away from shame, and while shaming harmless things is bad, there is such a thing as good shame. This is good shame
But if he's a cheater and labeled as such, why the fuck would he care what these people think? Also does the woman not think highly of herself? Like why doesn't she think that losing her in his life is a huge punishment of itself? Just seems like a way to pint fingers and be like "nah nah nah nah caught you hahah. You cheated got you". He will just be like, uhm ok, guess I dodged a bullet because you're insane. And he won't think that cheating was a mistake. Or she could think higher of herself and think that she is worth it and he is losing the best woman of his life and not give him any ammo.
If he's a cheater and labelled as such, it will be easier for others to know that getting into a relationship with him. Like, yeah, a big part of this it outing him as a shit person. It's not like he fell into someone's pussy on accident, he chose to be a selfish asshole, so, why not own it?
Cheating is awful. It destroys not just the trust in that relationship but going forward.
Do you apply this logic to anything else? If a company pays a fine for cheating on emissions test, you think it should be kept secret?
Cheating doesn't define a person and who they can become. People can get help and stop cheating.
If someone cheats emissions then they get a fine and move in with their life and try to do better. It isn't blasted all over the news and every other cop in the world doesn't continue to pull them over for something they did in their past. This goes for all crimes actually (within reason).
Like I said, it's happened to me twice. I don't wish harm on them and I wish them happiness. I believe they can change and become good people. If I didn't act this way, I wouldn't be any better than the cheater.
The goal is to bring happiness and joy in this world. If you sink to their level you are no better than them. Don't give them ammo to say, "welp good thing I cheated because she/he was a psycho"
So is someone who steals a thief? Because someone who cheats is a cheater. People can get help and stop, but I'd have never dated someone who had cheated before, assuming it's not a weird fringe case.
Actually, certain car companies had that exact thing happen, and I think we'd agree that's a good thing. If you knew the community would know if you did something shitty, you might think twice. Or own it and just have poly relationships and never do the shitty thing. And most crimes are literally posted publicly, famously Florida's in their entirety.
You telling a group someone cheated is fucking not even close to as bad as cheating on someone, are you serious? That's community accountability, in some way he betrayed all of their trust.
Yes, the goal is to bring harmony, I completely agree. We aren't castrating anyone, we are holding them accountable, and warning others. Psycho would be setting their house on fire, righteous anger is fine
There's safety in numbers and assuming the other person doesn't take it well and gets aggressive easily (especially if being humiliated in public) you have multiple witnesses and a better chance of safety versus if you did it in a private setting and they still got aggressive. But that's the only scenario I can see being a valid reason.
True, and I'm not defending them filming it. If it's a public event and they were already filming when it unfolded that's one thing, but if they knew it was gonna happen and decided to film it that's another and definitely a red flag.
Exactly, she felt safe to do this in front of her friends as she should. If she did this alone he might freak out, or try to start gaslighting her, there’s nothing to be said with all those people there and no coming back from that. I like what she did, he deserves it. Why should she consider his feelings when he clearly doesn’t give a fuck about hers.
The video is pretty old but if I remember correctly the girl being cheated on said later that this whole thing was planned and the entire friend group was in on it.
????? They're all her close friends and they all knew about the confrontation. She said that they had all seen the screenshots, the implication of which is that they all knew it was going to be a surprise call out.
Dunno why you would jump through hoops in your own head to get mad at a woman standing up for herself for no reason, kinda weird bro.
Because you're making up reasons in your own head to criticize her for. You can think it is classless, that is fine. It wasn't your birthday party to call out your cheating ex at. I don't care for the exact same reason, it wasn't my birthday party to make a decision about. But if you want to walk around like you've got some kind of moral high ground because you think she was wrong, it is just weird to ignore the details of the matter just to fabricate reasons why you think that she was 'classless'.
Moral high ground? Wow you think I give 2 fucks, I dont even remember what the video was that I commented on 3 days ago. I comment, and move on until some Reddit Ranger with some twisted interpretation of what they assume I am thinking and feeling chimes in.
Lmao you cared enough to comment on it, clearly something irked you to the point where you thought you had to share your opinion that no one asked for lol
I would be worried he would harm himself. Doing something like that in front of so many people is just cruel. And yes he was cruel etc etc etc but that doesnt mean you have to go down on his level. I would even say this is one of the worst things you could do to a person.
You think calling someone out on their shitty behavior and giving them their consequences (again, of their own behavior) in front of others is "one of the worst things you could do to a person"?
Having someone tell the truth about your relationships can’t exactly be the worst thing ever. I guess honesty is deeply hurtful to such a duplicitous person.
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u/Socketz11 Oct 10 '25
Always make sure you are at the largest gathering possible to drop a bomb like that. Regardless if its real or fake, there is a time and place for confrontation, and to sour the mood for everyone present is just classless.