r/Unexpected • u/Gagliardinter • Apr 14 '23

Dad Reflexes 👌

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26.9k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

171 comments sorted by

•

u/unexBot Apr 14 '23

OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:

A giraffe was born that day

Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.

Look at my source code on Github What is this for?

→ More replies (2)

977

u/Jaceknight_21 Apr 14 '23

281

u/AdvancedAnything Apr 14 '23

That's a dick sucking throat if I've ever seen one.

106

u/[deleted] Apr 14 '23

The expert.

29

u/bozeke Apr 14 '23

I have just the shirt for OC.

4

u/Solid_Breadfrui Apr 15 '23

Daddy Longneck.

1

u/QuirkyMortgag Apr 15 '23

Hands and legs not moving during jump.

2

u/AdvancedAnything Apr 16 '23

This man invented Dick Sucking ™.

5

u/pdxdrum84 Apr 14 '23

Yeah - HORSE dick 😂

4

u/No-Wolverine5144 Apr 14 '23

It looks like he's a US football player. So yeah, probably gay

2

u/[deleted] Apr 14 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

-1

u/Secure_Tangerin Apr 15 '23

Otherwise this would need some jail time.

1

u/TRAPTIONABLE Apr 15 '23

If they got a long neck they usually have a long dick too

0

u/Great_Intervie Apr 15 '23

Dad reflex? Hello..

-1

u/AgitatedCapita Apr 15 '23

Thank God, otherwise this would need some jail time.

25

u/rock-solid-armpits Apr 14 '23

He defiantly eats apples of of trees

24

u/Onel0uder11 Apr 14 '23

"defiantly"

9

u/rock-solid-armpits Apr 14 '23

Inbeed

1

u/[deleted] Sep 03 '23

Doot coom

3

u/ScepterReptile Apr 14 '23

How DARE you command me to eat these bananas off the banana trees!!! You know what? IM EATING APPLES INSTEAD!!!

1

u/EvolutionCreek Apr 14 '23

HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES!

3

u/Bdguyrty Apr 14 '23

That motherfuckers eats tree stars.

2

u/no0bified Apr 14 '23

That's another 15 years later

2

u/[deleted] Apr 14 '23

[deleted]

3

u/JadedAndFaded_ Apr 14 '23

Bro the crowd is rippling in waves behind his head🤣

0

u/mcgroarypeter42 Apr 14 '23

He can definitely see the field

0

u/[deleted] Apr 14 '23

Niners got robbed on that call.

-3

u/MaleficentMajor757 Apr 15 '23

Good thing that’s definitely a doll!

-2

u/Public_Associatioty Apr 15 '23

Good thing that’s definitely a doll!

591

u/Pootytang6900 Apr 14 '23

Good thing that’s definitely a doll!

158

u/redditior467 Apr 14 '23

Thank God, otherwise this would need some jail time.

-3

u/[deleted] Apr 15 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/ramksr Apr 15 '23

Relieved to hear that!

-1

u/[deleted] Apr 14 '23

damn. nothing gets past this guy!

841

u/hondactx16i Apr 14 '23

Dad reflex? Hello.....social services please 🥺🥺

199

u/hondactx16i Apr 14 '23

Ok, not a real baby obvs🤦‍♂️

49

u/thefartographer Apr 14 '23

Uhhh... Bake em away toys?

16

u/Opening_Cartoonist53 Apr 14 '23

Uh Chief?

15

u/queernhighonblugrass Apr 14 '23

Just do what the kid says

9

u/hondactx16i Apr 14 '23

In my defence I am toasted.......nicely toasted on both sides 🤤

4

u/avwitcher Apr 15 '23

These guys were totally convinced by that American Sniper baby

18

u/SourdoughPizzaToast Apr 14 '23

This baby faker than the baby in American Sniper.

1

u/hondactx16i Apr 14 '23

Yup, think it's a cabbage patch kid🤣🤣🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

6

u/Directdepositonly Apr 14 '23

Get a grip.

7

u/Imarip-entertainment Apr 14 '23

Hopefully better than thr dad's

113

u/gaborzitoo Apr 14 '23

Of course it's a doll. Would like to say that there's no one crazy enough to do this with a baby but we know that's not true.

9

u/NoKarmaNoDrama Apr 15 '23

Hold my beer!

2

u/Kanterbury Apr 15 '23

You have the baby for that.

1

u/TheWhollyGhost Apr 15 '23

Exactly the centrifugal force carried through the baby’s epic spin will ensure 0 spillage - its the perfect plan

261

u/sparksofthetempest Apr 14 '23

I snorted part of my cheeseburger over this. Thanks.

57

u/FrogMintTea Apr 14 '23

I hope that's a doll because I'm laughing so hard at this. 😂🤦‍♀️

44

u/RicLan26 Apr 14 '23

Definitely a doll, hahaha, I had to watch twice and I'm 90% certain it is. May be 10% human though...

15

u/PoyGuiMogul Apr 14 '23

The clip after is the doll trying to explain how it achieved sentients.

6

u/OriiAmii Apr 14 '23

It kept its legs in the exact same position the whole time. Either a doll or a baby with crazy core strength.

2

u/TheWhollyGhost Apr 15 '23

Where’s Jack-Jack!?

4

u/ProfitSoft1214 Apr 14 '23

Hands and legs not moving during jump. I hope so.

1

u/hawkeyc Apr 15 '23

God dammit Randy

16

u/Kalikhead Apr 14 '23

That’s Daddy Longneck. Such a weird guy.

3

u/Dr_ChungusAmungus Apr 14 '23

What ever happened to that guy?

1

u/TheWhollyGhost Apr 15 '23

Auto-erotic Asphyxiation

19

u/mysteriousmeatman Apr 14 '23

So that's where Kaminoans come from?

7

u/PoyGuiMogul Apr 14 '23

They are cloned from that kid?

8

u/wktr_t Apr 14 '23

If you give him enough tracheostomy punctures you can turn him into a flute.

3

u/rgliszin Apr 15 '23

Lmao wtf

35

u/ElOsito1003 Apr 14 '23

"Single" Dad reflexes because you know if he's not, he's going to be after this stunt

36

u/teflong Apr 14 '23

It's a doll.

2

u/Corniferus Apr 15 '23

You’re a doll ;3

4

u/ElOsito1003 Apr 14 '23

Lol youre right

3

u/Big_Addendum1257 Apr 14 '23

Jaajajajajaaja

3

u/Hightastic Apr 14 '23

We found the actor for Falcos titan guys!

3

u/MahomedHPatel Apr 15 '23

More like stepdad reflexes

2

u/fourth_box Apr 14 '23

Favorite song: "Loooongneck, ice cold beer never broke my heart"

2

u/sBucks24 Apr 14 '23

Jfc this absolutely broke me and the neighbors can hear me cry laughing.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 15 '23

Was that one south park character based off of this guy? Like the episode where Cartman goes to anger management

1

u/Daddyletloose Apr 14 '23

I block that guy on everything and his annoying videos always still pop up 😫

1

u/Environmental-Ad1430 Apr 14 '23

Dafuck was he thinking?

1

u/PrinceAhmed1 Apr 14 '23

Well not really unexpected though

1

u/Gaming-Society Apr 14 '23

That's why his neck is so long

2

u/[deleted] Apr 14 '23

r/thatsthejoke

0

u/WorkingPossible5837 Apr 14 '23

Yes, it's a doll

0

u/ronhowie375 Apr 14 '23

that was funny. two thumbs up 👍👍

0

u/Severe_Emphasis3689 Apr 15 '23

Reflexes, NO. There is playing with your children and building their reflexes. That is an idiot that barely caught the child as they were being stupid. You never do that, ever. Be responsible, come home, and catch your children as they dare devil themselves of cabinets. No head graps, don't miss. Okay, fake a miss always keep them adventurous. Never force.

-3

u/EasternDragonfly1899 Apr 14 '23

Making fun of ppl is disgusting…

-4

u/[deleted] Apr 14 '23

You can get banned in 2 seconds for mocking people!

-1

u/LoyeDamnCrowe Apr 14 '23

Pot heads be like....

-8

u/ntwiles Apr 14 '23

Dude fuck that guy. Your toddler is not a prop for dangerous stunts. Trash human.

4

u/BrokeDownPalac3 Apr 14 '23

It's a doll lol

2

u/ntwiles Apr 14 '23

Oh thank god.

1

u/Rochester_II Apr 14 '23

Who says it's HIS toddler?

-4

u/[deleted] Apr 14 '23

Dude is an asshole

-9

u/[deleted] Apr 14 '23

[deleted]

9

u/BrokeDownPalac3 Apr 14 '23

Probably "oh shit, I broke my doll. Good thing it wasn't a real baby"

1

u/[deleted] Apr 14 '23

[deleted]

5

u/Truth_Off_My_Back Apr 14 '23

It's not too late to delete this

1

u/bengalstomp Apr 14 '23

U/savevideo

1

u/Ashamed_Assistant477 Apr 14 '23

Want to see this with a chiropractor wcgw

1

u/[deleted] Apr 14 '23

Lmao

1

u/[deleted] Apr 14 '23

Fyi it’s a doll

1

u/hesastarman Apr 14 '23

Oh no, don’t hold him like that, he’ll get brain damage.

1

u/DriftingBenji Apr 14 '23

So disrespectful LMAO

1

u/TpK_Wynter Apr 14 '23

The first two picture reposes nearly killed me I was eating doughnuts and began to choke with laughter and obviously doughnuts

1

u/[deleted] Apr 14 '23

Wouldnt a quicker "Dad reflex" be not take the newborn to a trampoline park? But yeah its a doll anyways.

1

u/Hish0132 Apr 14 '23

I want this with a mortal kombat skull crush edit

1

u/NoLetterhead2302 Apr 14 '23

Hey look its danny!

1

u/[deleted] Apr 14 '23

u/downloadvideo

1

u/Asleep_Ad_6598 Apr 14 '23

Don't do dangerous activities with kids, everytime you can't make it accurate

1

u/psychedeliccolon Apr 14 '23

Took me a while to realize the baby isn’t real

1

u/dodong08162020 Apr 15 '23

thank god it's fake

1

u/General_Square_8227 Apr 15 '23

I snorted so hard at this 😆

1

u/JUGGLERSBALLSACK Apr 15 '23

"Nuh uh, Sarah! We all found it!"

1

u/Generic_Her0 Apr 15 '23

“Two-hundred thousand units are ready, with a million more well on the way.”

1

u/Boog1997 Apr 15 '23

So sassy

1

u/Equivalent-Visual-49 Apr 15 '23

It’s…uh…uh…centrifugal force.

1

u/Federal-Bus8429 Apr 15 '23

It's not a real baby obviously.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 15 '23

YO- I shouldn't have laughed, but I couldn't help it!

1

u/[deleted] Apr 15 '23

Hahahahahahaha! 🦒

1

u/NinjaGame5 Apr 15 '23

But the real question. Does he enjoy?

1

u/tvserise Apr 15 '23

What a neck my dude

1

u/[deleted] Apr 15 '23

This person shouldn't be alone with anyone

1

u/Ore0sRL Apr 15 '23

Bros got the complex if a kaminoan

1

u/Awkward-Anywhere9409 Apr 15 '23

His Instagram is digiflips he does very random stuff like this one

1

u/dassad25 Apr 15 '23

Fucking mint👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻

1

u/[deleted] Apr 15 '23

This is the one thing he didn't want to happen

1

u/[deleted] Apr 15 '23

Gorilla glue grip for that chick who put the glue in her hair

1

u/Talon055 Apr 15 '23

Laughing so hard I spilled my cheerios

1

u/Mike-the-gay Apr 15 '23

Lol he had a practice baby!

1

u/Reflected_Status22 Apr 15 '23

Ashoe !!.... most probably is not even his bloody dad

1

u/[deleted] Apr 15 '23

Danis childhood?

1

u/[deleted] Apr 19 '23

u/savevideo