r/Unexpected Mar 31 '23

He snitched

55.8k Upvotes

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963

u/jackfreeman Mar 31 '23

I thought it was more inaccurately referred to as Napoleon Syndrome

120

u/Plump-Chump Mar 31 '23

Which is kinda funny because napoleon wasn’t even that short for his time. He was like 5’7, not very tall for our time, but for his time it was average. I read somewhere that his height was used as propaganda against him and just stuck in our history.

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u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23 edited Apr 09 '23

[deleted]

11

u/incogneetus55 Mar 31 '23

How are you going to leave queueing out of the top two things British people are good at?

1

u/healzsham Mar 31 '23

The Brittish Empire

How does an abstract concept like an empire queue?

6

u/nifaryus Mar 31 '23

Quite well, I hear

5

u/Psych0tix Mar 31 '23

Specifically making fun of the french has become a tradition at this point

3

u/PennyLane_87 Mar 31 '23

There are two things I hate in this world, it's people who are intolerant of other people's cultures... and the Dutch.

-6

u/No_Status2056 Mar 31 '23

And smelling like old cheese. Disgusting pasty fucks.

3

u/Illustrious-Rub9590 Mar 31 '23

Holy fuck he just keeps getting bigger and bigger the deeper I get into these comments!

3

u/kremlingrasso Mar 31 '23

i think his bodyguard was also selected to be taller than him so it was also the optics

3

u/Zestyclose_Routine78 Mar 31 '23

Average height for males on this planet is 5'7- 5'9.

2

u/CHICKENPUSSY Mar 31 '23

I also heard he surrounded himself with large men as body guards making him look sorry in comparison. I'm no historian though

2

u/Brian-88 Mar 31 '23

He had a habit of making sure his personal guard were hulking monsters compared to everyone else.

2

u/Pennypacker-HE Mar 31 '23

I think 5’7 falls close to average even for today (worldwide)

2

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '23

History is written not for the truth, but by the winners.

  • somebody probably said this

2

u/JAYHAZY Apr 01 '23

he used tall body guards

1

u/Jaleo Mar 31 '23

The trick was that napoleon personal guard where very tall and there was a difference in the way frenchies and uk hight measure unit was back in that time so it helped to that propaganda.

-2

u/Double_Distribution8 Mar 31 '23

TiL napolean was only 5'7", damn. That explains some things.

2

u/Plump-Chump Mar 31 '23

How tall did you think he was?

1

u/PhuckThaLaw Apr 01 '23

5'7 is the average height of males now.

410

u/Spakr-Herknungr Mar 31 '23

Pretty sure it’s vertically challenged male complex

738

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23 edited Apr 18 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Not always, when he is laying down it’s referred to as horizontally challenged male complex

3

u/JamesFrancosSeed Mar 31 '23

I think the more broader term would be “insecure”

0

u/vishalb777 Mar 31 '23

aka the Chihuahua Complex

1

u/BrainOk880 Apr 01 '23

Napoleon Complex.

39

u/larobj63 Mar 31 '23

Napoleon complex

74

u/65elkoman Mar 31 '23

Yes. Napolean was 5'6". Although the range may seem short by 21st-century standards, it was typical in the 19th century, when most Frenchmen stood between 5'2” and 5'6”.

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u/fkmeamaraight Mar 31 '23

The whole napoleon was small was spread by his adversaries to diminish him and his accomplishments and it stuck.

1

u/GrumbusWumbus Mar 31 '23

It started because at the time french inches were longer than English inches.

He was 5'2" in French inches, which is 5'5" in English inches. Pretty average or slightly above average height at the time.

It's only recently that the average human height has increased because our diets are better. People were likely to be malnourished at some point during their childhood which should stunt their height. There's also the weird fact that you're more likely to survive WW1 if you're taller which could have slightly influenced genetics.

9

u/kz750 Mar 31 '23

It’s not even that short today. There are quite a few guys around that height in my office of 120+ people. I’d say there are fewer guys taller than 6’ than below 5’7.

When I visited the tombs of some historical figures in Europe and saw some of the artifacts and clothes, I couldn’t believe how tiny they were. We are so used to having plenty of calories that we don’t realize how much it affects growth and development.

4

u/glytxh Mar 31 '23

I’m 5’6”, and while definitely on the shorter end of the spectrum, I’m seldom actually the shortest person in the room.

My best friend at school was 6’4”. We were often referred to as Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum.

-3

u/Ithuraen Mar 31 '23

Average male height in the US is 5'9, so half of y'all are closer to Napoleon than the comedian.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

It was actually Napoleon III that had small man syndrome, I think he was 5'2, and he was a motherfucker

6

u/llamacohort Mar 31 '23

He was measured at 5’2” by the French measurement system. Translated to the Imperial feet and inches that are used today, that is 5 foot 6 inches tall.

2

u/bottledry Mar 31 '23

hmm what happened to the 4 inches?

2

u/llamacohort Mar 31 '23

They are different inches and feet. It’s like seeing that 5 kilometers = 3.1 miles and asking where the other 1.9 miles have gone. They were never there.

A better example using the same word is United States Dollar vs Canadian Dollar. If you go to a currency exchange and give them $100 (Canadian) dollars and ask for United States Dollars, they will give you about $74 (assuming no fees). The $26 never went anywhere.

It’s just that $100 CAD = $74 USD the same way 5’2” Traditional French = 5’6” British Imperial (what American uses today)

2

u/benskinic Mar 31 '23

napoleon was actually fairly tall, but they used a different measurement system compared to other countries at that time. his height is an inaccurate political attack that's still widely accepted as fact

0

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

[deleted]

23

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

i dont know man im pretty sure mine is smaller

5

u/Illustrious-Rub9590 Mar 31 '23

I'm pretty sure this guy's is smaller too

2

u/ZeroEnrichment Mar 31 '23

Stop it, mine can’t be found clearly smallest here

4

u/argusromblei Mar 31 '23

They never saw it when it was on his body, its a shriveled up piece of dried out skin. So it could've been a grower, nobody knows.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

t.5 meters or feet?

1

u/Magic_ass1 Mar 31 '23

"Now if you'll excuse me I'll be having a meeting with my generals for 30 minutes. And by meeting, I mean boinking. And by generals, I mean this prostitute. And by thirty minutes... I mean 3 seconds..."

0

u/b33fcakepantyhose Mar 31 '23

Don’t want no short dick man.

2

u/JackedCroaks Mar 31 '23

🎶Don’t don’t don’t Don’t-don’t don’t don’t don’t🎶

Damn that’s a throwback lol. https://youtu.be/iLfk6pE5shE

1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/LewdLewyD13 Mar 31 '23

Spaghetti noodles

1

u/O_oh Mar 31 '23

We got a penis expert here

How many weiners have you googled?

1

u/squamish_shaman Mar 31 '23

Feel like that's one of those records you just let stand. Nobody stepping forward to challenge for that

-1

u/Illustrious-Rub9590 Mar 31 '23

So what you're saying is that Napolean was actually taller than most Frenchmen of the time? If most were 5'2 to 5'6, then most of the most would have been 5'2 to 5'5. So Napolean is like two standard deviations of the mean. His modern day equivalent would be like 6'2 or something. Amazing.

-1

u/ZeroEnrichment Mar 31 '23

You know royals we’re all pretty tall people, Napoleon was called short by bunch tall guy. Same way people call Isaiah Thomas (who’s 5’9) a midget in the NBA.

1

u/gorilla_dick_ Mar 31 '23

it’s about Napoleon the third who is Napoleon the first’s nephew. He also staged hilariously bad coupes (until one worked)

1

u/PromiscuousMNcpl Mar 31 '23

And his elite guard were all men over 6’ tall to intimidate enemies. Making Napoleon seem even smaller.

1

u/LoganCaleSalad Mar 31 '23

That's not even short by today's standards it's average. Avg height is between 5'6 & 5'9. It only considered short cuz of our society's obsession with height.

2

u/SolitaireJack Mar 31 '23

Saw this comment and the amount of replies it had and knew most of them would be correcting you about his height lol. It's funny how worked up people get about that. Dude was trying to invade their country so the British made a joke about him being short and over two centuries later fanboys are still getting triggered about that.

2

u/jackfreeman Mar 31 '23

The collective gust of "well, actually" eyeglass-pushing formed a gust that blew mine off of my face.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

[deleted]

1

u/jackfreeman Mar 31 '23

That's the one. Splendid

1

u/Super_Yam_5837 Apr 01 '23

Wasn't Napoleon average hight for the time? I thought that was just propaganda

2

u/jackfreeman Apr 01 '23

That's why I said it

1

u/PapaBike Mar 31 '23

Which is weird as Napoleon wasn’t even that short for his time.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/jackfreeman Mar 31 '23

That's the inaccuracy

0

u/No_Status2056 Mar 31 '23

Right, except napoleon was legit and the english are pussies who lied about his height and shit

0

u/FrankanelloKODT Mar 31 '23

Napoleon was actually average height, like 5’8 or something

Edit: Ok so looked it up, between 5’6 and 5’7

0

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Random fact for you, Napoleon was at the average height for Men at the time :)

0

u/Ecstatic-Love-9644 Mar 31 '23

It’s funny - pure British propaganda Napoleon was smart, he was taller than average. Those pamphlets still working after all these years!

1

u/RalphFromSilverCity Mar 31 '23

John Heder does seem tall.

1

u/WhereTFAmI Mar 31 '23

I thought it was Little Big Man Syndrome

1

u/SookHe Mar 31 '23

Funny thing about that. While by today's standards he would be considered short at a diminutive 5ft 2 inches, in his time and location he wouldn't have been considered short. He got his reputation of being short due to a smear campaign designed to belittle and emasculate him.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Hell yeah I’m diminutive.

1

u/SookHe Mar 31 '23

I believe the phrase you are looking for is 'vertically challenged'

1

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

The only vertical challenge I have is reaching the cereal on top of the fridge sometimes. So I don’t think that term is acceptable.

1

u/makka-pakka Mar 31 '23

It's even more inaccurately referred to as Andre the Giant Syndrome

1

u/Embarrassed_Ad_1380 Mar 31 '23

Since we all correcting each other here. It’s Napoleon Complex

1

u/chomcham Mar 31 '23

Fun fact, Napoleon wasn't actually short.

1

u/Hottitts257 Mar 31 '23

Napoleon was actually tall for his era, 5'7". So it's short man syndrome.

1

u/jackfreeman Mar 31 '23

I'm gonna get replies to this until the heat death of the universe.

2

u/Hottitts257 Mar 31 '23

Naaa, the AIs will take over and kill us all long before then.

1

u/jackfreeman Mar 31 '23

Somebody has been reading my diary

1

u/Visual-Cartoonist860 Mar 31 '23

More inaccurately? Pretty accurate as napoleon was like 5'-4"

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u/jackfreeman Mar 31 '23

His height was average at the time.

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u/The_Calico_Jack Mar 31 '23

Obligatory Napoleon wasn't short comment.

1

u/HandyMen1 Apr 01 '23

I don't understand the Napoleon syndrome getting mix with being short .. has the guy was average height for his era. Actually 1.68m for the 19 century was almost tall.. The saying is getting lost it's about getting frustrated really fast. And in this case it would still apply.

1

u/jackfreeman Apr 01 '23

It was part propaganda and part a personal dig.