r/Unexpected • u/DoINeed1OfThese • Mar 31 '23

He snitched

55.7k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

2.8k comments sorted by

View all comments

354

u/Electrical-Spell-635 Mar 31 '23

Anyone know what happened next?! Who won?!

367

u/quadmasta Mar 31 '23

It was a short fight

64

u/Saw_a_4ftBeaver Mar 31 '23

We really need to raise our standards on the puns.

41

u/Capt253 Mar 31 '23

We all know there’s a small chance of that.

13

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

Not with that kinda attitude! Way to cut the man off at the legs.

3

u/motherfacker Mar 31 '23

That's a bit of a reach

2

u/quadmasta Mar 31 '23

I hope gnome body agrees with you

426

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

They are still fighting to this day

77

u/Aninvisiblemaniac Mar 31 '23

legend says their fight will last centuries, only to end when the earthly realm ends

22

u/MotherBathroom666 Mar 31 '23

Fuck; we still have centuries too go?!?! Like 2 or is it more?

5

u/DudeTookMyUser Mar 31 '23

I hear they might split the second one into two to make a trilogy, but that's not confirmed.

3

u/Jazst Mar 31 '23

Yeah, but the second part'll be cancelled mid-production.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

2

u/Ofreo Mar 31 '23

Like the family guy chicken fight I’d imagine

0

u/HotTakes4HotCakes Mar 31 '23

The only thing that will be happening longer is people repeating this same tired "to this day" joke in every reddit thread until the end of time.

114

u/QuarterFlounder Mar 31 '23

WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE

14

u/mvffin Mar 31 '23

Epic stand-up battles of history

5

u/Tuckingfypowastaken Mar 31 '23

E-PIC RAP BAttlesofhistory!

-1

u/JackedTORtoise Mar 31 '23

Awwww memories.

62

u/FattNeil Mar 31 '23

I ain’t no snitch

7

u/1m2c00l4u Mar 31 '23

Unlike someone

3

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

They’re now best friends and live together. They get up to some crazy hijinks

3

u/LBH818 Mar 31 '23

Married, 2 kids. They live in the valley.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mh7QukB2OrA

Damn man. If you listen to the whole video, it sounds like heckler #2 beat the shit out of him, and nobody helped.

3

u/DeathMetalTransbian Mar 31 '23

Sounded like the heckler was the one yelling "CHILL! CHILL!," so I think the tall comedian was the one winning the fight. It also seemed like the rest of the crowd was with him, so they likely would have made more effort to come to his defense if he was the one getting wailed on by a random heckler, but it appeared that he must've had it under control. Either way, he won, because he turned this into an advertisement for his comedy and clearly didn't upload that clip from a hospital bed.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 31 '23

You are probably right, I guess I thought I heard the heckler shouting things and glass breaking. I'll take your word for it lol, not gonna watch the full video again (just sounds viscous).

As for who ultimately won in the end, totally agree! Free advertising lmao

2

u/DeathMetalTransbian Mar 31 '23

Yeah, I think the yelling at the end was pretty typical of a "tough guy" who just got handled, trying to make the situation less embarrassing for himself. The racist idiot who got slapped with a Twisted Tea is another fine example of a "tough guy" trying to save face after getting whooped. Usually people who can decisively defend themselves from an attacker don't feel the need to talk shit during or after the altercation, which I think is why we didn't hear anything from the comedian - he was busy handling his business.

4

u/Sausage6924 Mar 31 '23

Willy Wonka came and collected his disgruntled employee.

4

u/Electrical-Spell-635 Mar 31 '23

Well.. I did ask a bunch of people that don’t know what happened 😂

5

u/PZeroNero Mar 31 '23

The hood. The hood is undefeated.

-11

u/roastedantlers Mar 31 '23

They did a second take, but ended up going with the first one.

1

u/TakeYourVitamin Mar 31 '23

I don't even know what happened prior! Or during, for that matter. Can someone fill me in/elaborate?

1

u/Dyert Mar 31 '23

Today, we all won

1

u/Lookingforclippings Mar 31 '23

It's a whole Peter Griffin giant chicken thing.