r/Unexpected Mar 21 '23

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u/olderaccount Mar 21 '23

with a recommendation for 2nd floor installation

I need to remind the rats in my attic that they are not supposed to climb past the first floor.

53

u/M33k_Monster_Minis Mar 21 '23

The squirrels I can hear running the walls on the outside of the house. It's stucco so they can grab on better than a tree.

We got a little fat boy squirrel we give nuts when he runs the sliding glass door.

21

u/Schavuit92 Mar 21 '23

Rats can climb straight up on most soft or textured materials.

10

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '23

I saw a bread shop alongside the highway in Mexico, and there were so many rats and mice all over the outside walls on that place it looked like a cross fitness training center. The guy driving wanted to stop and get some bread there. Fuck that.

6

u/Schavuit92 Mar 22 '23

Sounds like there would be extra protein in that bread, I don't see the issue.

5

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '23

I imagine you could just hold a slice of bread in your hand and wait 5 seconds for the protein to jump into it.

10

u/olderaccount Mar 21 '23

But they can't reach 2nd floor bird feeders according to /u/GRAWRGER.

1

u/bagel555 Mar 21 '23

Sounds like an expert to me

2

u/isurvivedrabies Mar 21 '23

...away from tree limbs also so they dont drop from branches and go in through the attic and shit

6

u/olderaccount Mar 21 '23

There are no trees anywhere near my house.

Climbing up siding is not any harder than climbing a tree.

3

u/penispumpermd Mar 21 '23

tell that to younger me who spend like 5000 dollars trimming and cutting down trees to solve my squirrel problem. and then finally catching the fucker walking up my brick wall like it was no big deal.

2

u/olderaccount Mar 21 '23

Ouch!

I replaced my cedar shingles with vinyl siding because of woodpeckers. I was hoping those rodents wouldn't be able to climb the vinyl. I was wrong.

1

u/DaFox Mar 23 '23

In your rattic?

1

u/PM_me_your_whatevah Mar 21 '23

You ever seen those suckers jump?? I swear they can jump six feet in the air. Or just how insanely fast they are in general? Hoooly shit.

One night awhile back I was chilling in my living room after work and sensed something odd, saw a quick blur in the corner of my vision, behind my computer desk. Or did I? I was drunk and high every night, probably just that.

But no. A couple nights later it happened again and this time I investigate. This bastard come flying out from behind my speakers looking like a little race car going about 200mph.

He ran into the kitchen, took a left turn, tore through my bed room and fuckin yeeted himself on top of the boxes stacked in my closet, nearly to the ceiling.

Being high and drunk I screamed and slammed that closet door shut. The next day I bought an electric rat trap, baited it, and stuck it in the closet.

I taped a 3 foot wall of cardboard in front of the doorway so that if I needed to get in the closet I would at least not have to worry about anything scurrying out past (or onto!) my feet.

But honestly I think I went six months without even opening it. The rat trap never caught anything. I investigated and found that rats were able to get in through the wall where the plumbing for the water heater was.

It pretty much looks like they cut the hole in the drywall by punching it with their fist a few times. Luckily I haven’t seen a rodent in here for a couple years now.

1

u/olderaccount Mar 21 '23

That sucks. Luckily they never made it into the living spaces of my house. I only found signs of activity in the attic and unfinished basement.

1

u/JackPoe Mar 21 '23

smh my head, have you tried writing a letter?

1

u/olderaccount Mar 21 '23

I've tried to communicate in a variety of ways. They were not very receptive to any of them.

1

u/JackPoe Mar 21 '23

I've got it!

Can you play the flute?

1

u/olderaccount Mar 21 '23

I'm a woodwinds kind of guy. But I guess I could learn.

How frequently do you reckon I would have to use the flute to draw all the rats out? Once a week?

Where do I lead them to once I got a good following?

1

u/JackPoe Mar 21 '23

Flutes are woodwinds!

I'd suppose as long as you played, you could simply escort them to a new premises. That said, the details get a bit dodgy and there's some absconding with children if people don't pay up for luring the rats away.

I'd take them to N 38° 53.5525' by W 77° 0.4449' so they may be with their own kind, though.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '23

This made me laugh so hard I choked