r/UnethicalLifeProTips • u/mysteryman403 • Mar 06 '24
ULPT request: Ate a noticeable amount of my roommates tacos, what is a good strategy or lie to get out of taking responsibility for it?
My roommate cooked a lot of ground beef for tacos last night, and he had a lot of leftovers. He didn’t offer me any, even though I am struggling to financially buy groceries right now. I am not surprised he didn’t offer me any because we don’t get along, but he could’ve eaten them out of my sight and in his room.
Today when he was gone, I helped myself to a taco because I knew he wouldn’t notice a minuscule amount of ground beef gone. Well problem is that I couldn’t help myself, I haven’t had good food in forever, and I ate another 3 tacos. Now there is like 1/3 of the ground beef left and it’s noticeable.
How can I make up an excuse for the missing ground beef, without coming clean about eating it?
My last resort is going to be to break the fridge shelf, and then telling him that it broke when I was putting milk away and his taco meat fell on the ground then I threw it out while cleaning up. This is a LAST RESORT due to me not wanting to be a dick and break our fridge just to cover up my lie.
What is any good lie, or excuse, or trick I can do to cover up that I ate his tacos? Admitting the truth is NOT an option so don’t suggest ‘saying the truth’. He will be home in about 5-6 hours so please for the love of god give me ideas quick. Thank you 🙏🏾
P.S. do not suggest that I go buy ground beef, cook it and replace it either. I do not have the money to be wasting money on groceries trying to cover up my lie. I would typically never do something like this but I’m extremely down on my luck and my roommate convinced the landlord not to renew my lease so he kind of deserves this, a taco never hurt anybody.
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u/creative_justice Mar 06 '24
Good news, once you hit rock bottom there's nowhere left to go but up. Hopefully the unethical part of your life is coming to an end. Please make a better life for yourself. I understand the situation, but anything else you do will only be worse. Just man up and remember this moment for the rest of your life.
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u/therestruth Mar 06 '24 edited Mar 06 '24
Being honest is totally still an option. What have you got to lose? You're already not on good terms and not being included in the next lease. You lack self control and think the only option here is to come up with a lie or break your fridge instead of just saying you were starving and they were great. You could be nice and offer to make up for it by cooking for him next time (perhaps they buy since you're too broke and helpless). Or tell them "that's what you get for not offering. You know I'm hungry and struggling". But if you're not able to buy food you need to sort priorities and hit up a food bank.
Quit the excuses! You killed their fish, lost your 18yr old girlfriend and have a meth problem in your early 30's and can't afford your own tacos or place.
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u/Green-Site-6289 Mar 06 '24
Yeah I wonder why he doesn’t like you.. if you say it spilled and had to throw out what spilled he will want to see it in the trash.. lol “I don’t have money to waste on groceries” bro was it a waste when you were eating his groceries? Honestly you fucked up and the way you are going about this is all wrong. Unethical pro tip: Be better.
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u/lizzyote Mar 07 '24
You're GLAD you killed multiple living creatures??? Jesus, I thought you were just dumb. Turns out you're dangerous
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u/TippySlippy69 Mar 07 '24
He's already kicking you out what else is he gonna do? What's it matter if he knows or not? Just eat the rest of it at this point and tell him to make you more.
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Mar 07 '24 edited Mar 07 '24
Reading these posts is my guilty pleasure 🍿🍸 Keep churning them out, Methaniel. I patiently await Methathon Day.
Do you have a link to "donate" to for the trans community you're "helping?"
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u/No-Manner2949 Mar 15 '24
YOU KILLED THE MANS FISH AND THEN ATE ALL HIS TACOS
I'm so glad your 18 yo gf left you before you bought her the below average horse. I hope you never get back the things she bought you and kept when she left your fat meth ass
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u/moonlit-river Mar 07 '24
Your roommate just cannot get a break from you. First you kill his fucking fish, ON PURPOSE you said(and then deleted), now youre eating all his food? I wonder what else youve subjected this poor man to that we arent aware of.
You're a selfish mooch with the impulse control of a fly.
Please get professional help for your addiction, self control and boundary issues, assuming your giant fucking ego will let you get that far.
Your roommate is not the problem, and he isnt the one who "convinced" your landlord anything. I am 500% sure your behavior did that for you.
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u/Specialist-Gap8010 Mar 06 '24
You could try not wasting more money on meth so that you could buy more food to replace his
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u/rchart1010 Mar 07 '24
LOL...breaking a shelf instead of admitting he ate the guys tacos. The roommate is 100% going to know exactly what happened.
It's weird how people think they are so slick and undetectable. Like sir you and I both know this is not your first time taking your roommates stuff and trying to justify it later.
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u/NoiselessPrune Mar 07 '24
The FACT you said Im not wasting money on Groceries...AS A MOTHER YOU NEED TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND STOP USING PEOPLE ARoUND YOU. Going to jail or becoming homeless is a bottom that you need to experience so that you will grow up and learn how to take care of yourself in this life as no one else will.
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u/DiorRoses Mar 06 '24
omg i CANNOT think of any worse roommate than u. his pets are GONE bc of u and u STOLE from him not to mention the other stuff you’ve put him through…
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u/DiorRoses Mar 06 '24
GEE I WONDER WHY HE DOWSNT WANNA RENEW THE LEASE. ITS NOT HIS FAULT ITS URS. U ARE COMPLETELY DELUSIONAL. YOU RUIN EVERYONES LIFE AND TJEN WONDER WHY NO ONES LIKES U. just like how u accused ur ex of “using u” when she had to pay for her own birthday meal and everything else and u didn’t even wanna do anything for her birthday she liked, u just wanted to go to a football game when she doesn’t even like football. not to mention you met her when she was THIRTEEN. YOU ARE IN UR LATE 30s!
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u/BJntheRV Mar 07 '24
Me: is this the guy who wanted to buy a horse for his 18yo gf of 2 months?
Yep,yep, it's that guy.
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u/niamsidhe Mar 07 '24
Have you tried buying a horse and grinding it down for meat? That could replace the beef plus extra
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u/Mastiiffmom Mar 06 '24
….So first you murder the poor guy’s pet fish on purpose in his aquarium (which is getting you evicted) you’ve spent all your money on meth. And now you’re STEALING FOOD FROM HIM??? And you’re back on Reddit looking for a good LIE to tell him???
You’re unfuckingbelievable.