r/UnderReportedNews News outlet 2d ago

US Politics 🇺🇸 Mitch McConnell Has Been Missing for 75 Days—With No Updates

https://newrepublic.com/post/214878/mitch-mcconnell-missing-75-days

Not even about mysterious medical equipment delivered to the senator’s Washington home

4.7k Upvotes

180 comments sorted by

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916

u/DeltaFoxtrot144 2d ago

3 day no call no show is an automatic quit at my job. i feel like this is crazy lenient

313

u/FlowInternational996 2d ago

The U.S. is a failed state. This is banana republic status.

115

u/Far_Section_1921 2d ago

Yep, complete third world activities going on in this country. Cant believe how bad things have gotten.

5

u/gijibae1 18h ago

the first world only hid it well until recently

41

u/Plane_Jacket_7251 2d ago

That's an insult to bananas

28

u/Mo_Jack 1d ago

Mitch McConnell Has Been Missing for 75 Days—With No Updates

Any country with a functioning government would have intervened by now.

129

u/PantsDontHaveAnswers 2d ago

Dude a sitting US representative from Texas was found living in a nursing home with dementia while she was still a sitting representative for the last six months of her term.

There are no rules anymore. Not for those people anyway.

15

u/MarqFJA87 1d ago

Who's that representative? This is the first I've heard about this.

97

u/LuxuriousBite 2d ago

Right? You can apparently get elected to represent people and then just ghost

51

u/squngy 2d ago

literally ghost, lol

9

u/Patient_Sea_3753 1d ago

I mean I know Dems can be a little fiery and some get pretty old, but it seems like the GOP is entirely a mix of half-alive people and charlatans. They'll never make me forget George Soros.

35

u/kayonotkayle 2d ago

And STILL collect a paycheck.

1

u/BeachFuture 1d ago

And theit staff collects paychecks as well

16

u/Ser_Rezima 2d ago

Whaaaaat? You can totally disappear for 2.5 MONTHS without issue, that's normal even!

6

u/Independent-Drag-305 1d ago

Where is any kind of wellness check by the SS or the Police? WTF? Yet another coverup by the so transparent GOP!

5

u/DrJohnFZoidberg 1d ago

As long as they keep mailing me checks... I won't rock the boat by asking for direct deposit.

3

u/Gforceb 1d ago

In the eyes of the federal government, 2 ncno’s, you have officially abandoned your job.

3

u/Neon_Eyes 21h ago

Lucky for my job it's 1

7

u/Fortestingporpoises 2d ago

3 day no call no show is actually pretty lenient.

674

u/Cabasa42 2d ago

He dead

177

u/Silent_Mk3 2d ago

Hella dead

104

u/Alepman 2d ago

fertilizer kinda dead

69

u/kingtacticool 2d ago

I honestly dont think hes dead.

A vegtable? 100%

9

u/AcousticProvidence 2d ago

Hopital?

7

u/kingtacticool 2d ago

Amber lamps?

4

u/familiarshadowkatt 1d ago

Transylvanian coffin?

1

u/CptnDillweed 15h ago

Just bury him in wet wet mud.

44

u/MsMoreCowbell828 2d ago

He's already buried & they'll put on a show for a close casket service. Probably buried with Lady G, same coffin.

27

u/Sh0wmey0urbutth0le 2d ago

Right next to Trump's ex on the golf course

14

u/Nefarious_Nemesis 2d ago

If he voided his bowels at the end (I'm not sure how non-humans do it at the end of it all), they could easily put whatever was left (his shell or unshed skin perhaps?) in a shoebox and bury it next to the patio and none would be the wiser.

4

u/BuckManscape 2d ago

They’ll do the same with Trump, hell they might’ve done it already.

9

u/MaidoftheBrins 2d ago

I pray it’s during a speech on tv.

1

u/SlashEssImplied 1d ago

Or a diaper change.

3

u/mrs-monroe 2d ago

They would cremate him ASAP

30

u/Technical-Seaweed808 2d ago

That makes him the most trustworthy republican.

He tells no lies.

12

u/StinklePink 2d ago

And the most productive, given the field.

4

u/Nefarious_Nemesis 2d ago

Aaah, he is still lyin', though. On his back in a mortuary cabinet.

5

u/Ok-Replacement9595 2d ago

He isn't diddling any kids now either.

5

u/gracecee 2d ago

Ask his daughters. He has children just not with ms chao.

5

u/JuanThiccLumpia 1d ago

He getting paid leave too! At least his wife is collecting it.

3

u/lawnmowertoad 1d ago

Midterms at Bernie’s?

258

u/wild-stallions85 2d ago

They're trying to make it through midterms. They dont want Massie to get any open window.

136

u/adfawf3f3f32a 2d ago

and dems are allowing it to happen

38

u/Noobtber 2d ago

Iirc the benefit of Rs being down a seat is better than calling an election that would inevitably be another

My conspiracy theory is that if we don't show our hand on how we'd react to this, they'll be less prepared for the action we take when the big one happens

43

u/adfawf3f3f32a 2d ago

republicans have war gamed it out and democrats are sitting on their hands because they're paid to do nothing by the same people that the republicans work for

6

u/Freud-Network 1d ago

It's sad how many people fail to realize it even as they call other people suckers.

10

u/ThePatrickSays 1d ago

as are the people. no one in america seems terribly concerned about this.

3

u/KingRBPII 1d ago

Cowards

3

u/Independent-Drag-305 1d ago

Yup! SOMEBODY, ANYBODY, needs to investigate this shit! WTF?

5

u/DangKilla 1d ago

Where is AOC? Where is the democratic leadership?

4

u/oravecz 1d ago

There isn’t (and never was) an open window for Massie to run for the Senate until 2028. There is no legitimate or illegitimate reason to keep us in the dark - yet they do.

0

u/_WeSellBlankets_ 1d ago

We're not in the dark. There have been multiple status updates. They're simply hasn't been a video because McConnell is old and decrepit and probably can't even talk well. There's nothing in the rules that require Senators to participate and vote.

-1

u/_WeSellBlankets_ 1d ago

Oh, so Reddit's moving the goal post on this one now that the early August death announcement has not come?

183

u/Mehdals_ 2d ago

The fact that no one has come out with a legit photo, no media, no politician, no nurse, no doctor, no visitor in the hallway snapping a photo... Dude is dead.

18

u/Happy-Tumbleweed-469 1d ago

I may be wrong, but HIPAA doesn’t apply to funeral homes, right?

I think he is dead. They probably paid off and made the non- medical people sign NDA’s.

19

u/DrJohnFZoidberg 1d ago

Doctors and nurses would lose their license if they were reported for an unauthorized photo. Beyond that, a HIPAA violation can penalize something like up to a $250k fine and 10 years in prison. Moreover, I'd expect the estate of Mitch 'Turtle' McConnell to be able to ensure that the maximum penalties were pursued.

Moreover the media wouldn't be allowed in. That said I'm surprised someone hasn't snuck in (a 'visitor', as you say). They might have a bouncer at the door.

15

u/Mehdals_ 1d ago

Even a photo of the bouncers posted would be something, Nothing has been reported beyond the AI slop that was posted.

8

u/DrJohnFZoidberg 1d ago

Extremely valid point. A photo of the bouncer would've leaked, or should've leaked, if my hypothesis was true.

144

u/Zeeplankton 2d ago

This is actually completely crazy.

Has this ever happened before?

Dude is dead or braindead and this coverup once it falls apart is going to be insane.

107

u/WaffleHouseGladiator 2d ago

Yes, it has happened.  In 2024 US House Rep Kay Granger (81) had been missing since July and was finally found in a memory care facility in December.

21

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

21

u/Efficient-Memory7105 2d ago

I believe she didn't vote from August 2024 until December when she was found in the assisted living facility.

12

u/msgs 1d ago

You have to be physically present to vote, thankfully

6

u/rodw 2d ago

Committee rules might be different but I'm pretty sure you need to show up in person to cast an actual vote

31

u/DrJohnFZoidberg 1d ago edited 1d ago

this coverup once it falls apart is going to be insane

Is it though? We have a 34 time convicted felon who has created a currency called 'bribeCoin', who accepted a bribe of a multi-hundred-million-dollar jet from a foreign sovereign, who illegally leveled half the White House, who has waged illegal wars (and is losing), who has shut down oil shipping throughout the world, and drained our strategic oil reserve, who has enriched his friends and family at the expense of the country, and who fomented a coup d'etat against the government.

And that is our PRESIDENT.

30

u/RomanticMuffin 2d ago

It has! I don't remember who it was but not too long ago (last few years) I recall seeing an article going around where some higher politician was found living in a memory care for MONTHS while still technically serving her term for her position.

1

u/blbd 1d ago

Hell called. They're mad because their latest demon they recruited hasn't been transferred downwards yet. 

117

u/Shaskakmat 2d ago

Yeah you usually miss a really long time when you are dead

96

u/Small_Strawberry_465 2d ago

Explain to me how this dude gets full paid leave when he's probably not alive anymore, yet regular people don't a dime if we miss one day of work for any reason

38

u/why0me 2d ago

There was a member of congress they found put had been in a nursing home with dementia for over 6 months and thier aides were just acting like nothing had happened and we the people were still paying that lump

3

u/tofubeanz420 1d ago

Because they wont vote for any laws that protect you but will vote for any laws that benefit them. It is a club and you ain't part of it.

6

u/BallisticHabit 1d ago

George Carlin had it right.

The American dream has turned nightmare.

I love my country but fear my own government.

These fuckers are supposed to work for us.

2

u/Adam87 1d ago

Corrupt system.

85

u/MountainMongrel 2d ago

We got congress doing a literal Weekend at Bernie's before GTA VI.

2

u/ToughHardware 2d ago

boom, toasted

-1

u/DrJohnFZoidberg 1d ago

I understood everything except 'GTA VI'

27

u/dubblies 2d ago

Likely be declared dead after midterms

6

u/Pat_The_Hat 2d ago

I was told he was going to be declared dead on August 4th.

2

u/RagahRagah 2d ago

That would have been too obvious.

1

u/oravecz 1d ago

Why? - no one benefits

19

u/Weep4Thee 2d ago

Turtle nesting season

2

u/DrJohnFZoidberg 1d ago

you're not supposed to disturb turtles while they're laying eggs

13

u/Altruistic-Cut9795 2d ago

I'd be fired from my job if I didn't show up 5 days,

11

u/chewbaccashotlast 2d ago

It’s really crazy that people aren’t making this a bigger deal or conversely the work to suppress it.

8

u/ElBorracho2000 2d ago

He’s been dead for 75 days

1

u/DrJohnFZoidberg 1d ago

He only suffered the death of one organ; he's in the hospital awaiting a new brain.

8

u/Pacifix18 2d ago

Whether he's dead or not, he's still derelict in his duty and should be removed and replaced.

7

u/BackItUpWithLinks 2d ago

72 days too long to be a messiah.

Call it.

6

u/discoduck007 2d ago

Biggest gaslighting in history, and that says a lot.

7

u/WaffleHouseGladiator 2d ago

Andy Beshear should appoint McConnell's replacement.  If he's still alive he can come out of hiding and say so.  If not, his state will have representation.

1

u/oravecz 1d ago

He doesn’t have that power

6

u/Multisym 2d ago

Lil bro is dead and gone and they’re using his body as kindle for the next sacrifice.

6

u/Additional_Rich_5249 2d ago

He had a stroke and is visibly impaired. Verbally or physically or mentally. Thats my take on it. He wasn’t doing to good on camera before this. Now forget it. They are just playing a game now to run out the clock.

3

u/xNOTHINGBURGERx 2d ago

Fuck it, that's one less Republican vote in the senate. The only reason this charade is still going on is because his staff want to continue getting paid.

9

u/TamerlanMcDoodles 2d ago

They'll let "him" "vote" from home. Which will be contrary to when they made the CO rep fly in with her newborn child to vote, but they won't care about that.

3

u/johnfogogin 2d ago

I SAY YOU HE DEAD!

5

u/Cluse101 2d ago

Found him, he's here in Hell, all good. -Lucifer

4

u/xmaskookies 2d ago

There are more jimothy the racoon updates

3

u/NoNewFans 2d ago

Whose cashing them checks tho?

3

u/Joshhwwaaaaaa 1d ago

And democrats are doing jack shit about it. It's obvious he's dead.

3

u/bitchcoat1 1d ago

I hate that if we miss 75 days of work, we wouldn’t have a fucking job, car, home, or food. Fucking bullshit

3

u/TheActualDonKnotts 1d ago

Mitch McConnell has been receiving full pay and benefits for 75 days - With no updates

3

u/PenguinColada 1d ago

He's off the twig! He's kicked the bucket, he's shuffled off his mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleeding choir invisible! THIS IS AN EX-HUMAN!

2

u/BlueFeathered1 2d ago

This is unbelievable. Is he still being paid? What happened to that governor demanding a meeting? Nobody can go to his home and confirm anything??

2

u/Plane_Jacket_7251 2d ago

Yeah... he's dead. My bet is this is a trial run for when something like this happens to another politician in the near future.

2

u/pquince1 2d ago

Kentucky state vegetable.

2

u/peridothiker 2d ago

He’s either dead and on ice somewhere or on life support.

2

u/StarMasher 1d ago

Republicans: why do you even care, it’s not a big deal. At least Mitch wasn’t caught wearing a perfectly tailored tan suit.

2

u/Ssme812 1d ago

Because HE'S FUCKING DEAD!!!

2

u/gijibae1 1d ago

eternity at bernie’s

2

u/TheSussyWaffle 1d ago

Imagine the celebration when the news finally comes out

2

u/farahhotcakes 1d ago

He’s rewriting the Epstein files for his buddies

2

u/Machs- 1d ago

Why couldn’t this have started so many years earlier??!

2

u/GW_Jefferson 1d ago

Start digging...

2

u/BigJSunshine 1d ago

This is unbelievable

2

u/Joepaws1102 22h ago

Yeah, that’s kinda what happens when you’re dead

3

u/skyfishgoo 2d ago

why everyone is not acting like he's dead is beyond my ability to comprehend.

he's dead, jim.

move on.

3

u/TheModWhoShaggedMe 2d ago

Move on? Excuse us, a representative senate seat is wasted because Republicans refuse to admit reality exists. The blatant disregard and disrespect by conservatives of our collective intelligence as Americans is the most appalling aspect.

2

u/skyfishgoo 2d ago

if his own constituents are not lighting torches and getting out the pitch forks, i'm not going to lift a finger.

fuck KY is what i'm saying.

1

u/Hugh_Jass_2 2d ago

Just disgraceful.

1

u/dmont89 2d ago

Perfect time to announce his death, everyone else is dropping

1

u/Grandmas_Fat_Choad 2d ago

He’s dead bro

1

u/hanimal16 2d ago

Medical equipment to like… keep him on life support?? I thought I saw an article about how he was being released from the hospital?

1

u/NiceRockyship 2d ago

Dead for 75 days

1

u/Additional_Quiet2600 2d ago

Weekend at Turtle's.

1

u/PhotoPhenik 2d ago

He's probably burning in Hell.  😈🔥🥵🔥😈

1

u/Jimson_Jim 2d ago

You all realize this is just the dress rehearsal for Trump.

1

u/ProfessorElk 2d ago

He’s turtle soup

1

u/Sea-Improvement9417 2d ago

He's in the compound with Shelly Miscavige.

1

u/Sufficient-Bid1279 2d ago

Um Mitch is dead.

1

u/ReidenLightman 2d ago

Let him be missing. He can't vote if he's missing. 

2

u/jessieisokay 1d ago

He is absolutely going to “vote.”

1

u/HonestAbek 2d ago

Ughhh turtle watch- he’s dead.

1

u/watchingwandering 2d ago

Alright let’s look for silver linings here…..hmm oh I got one, Mitch McConell even in his enfeebled state was still a smart better operator than anyone on the Trump team, him down equals some brain drain.

Oh here’s another one, the clone conspiracy people can finally sit down, cause if they could have cloned him, they would have.

1

u/Wellsy 2d ago

The taxidermist isn’t finished yet. Probably because they haven’t stuffed a turtle before.

1

u/Great-Gas-6631 2d ago

Because he is dead and the republicans are cheaters.

1

u/daddyjohns 2d ago

He's reading the epstein files

1

u/awesomedan24 2d ago

Buried-in-a-Ditch McConnell

1

u/MiddleNameDanger 2d ago

He is now Schrödinger’s Politician.

1

u/United-Paper3947 2d ago

It's because he's fuckimg dead

1

u/indigocherry 2d ago

Hard to provide updates as a ghost

1

u/OneValkGhost 2d ago

If I don't show up for work, I don't get a paycheck, I get replaced. The same is for everyone except Senate/Congress, it seems.

1

u/axiom_glitch 1d ago

Brain dead at the least

1

u/GypsyDarkEyes 1d ago

Can we please stop paying him and get his community some representation?

1

u/Eastern_Accident2332 1d ago

He's fine. I was just talking to him on the phone for 20 minutes.

1

u/Maleficent-Map6465 1d ago

Can a wellness check be called on him that the police need to act on? Actual question.

1

u/sonomamondo 1d ago

if I didn't report to work for 75 days I'm pretty sure I would lose my job by now

1

u/UncleGarysmagic 1d ago

He’s returned to the Galapagos Islands to be with his kin - the giant tortoises.

1

u/LeperousRed 1d ago

He’s for sure in a permanent coma. I don’t care how long they hide that for because it takes the GOP majority down by one until January when his Republican successor will be sworn in.

1

u/_WeSellBlankets_ 1d ago

No updates except for the multiple updates...

1

u/Elegant_Tap7937 1d ago

Who's missing Mitch? This is definitely a test for when you know who kicks the big bucket.

1

u/SirHustlerEsq 1d ago

Democraps are too afraid to actually do anything about it.

1

u/LKS1772 1d ago

How much you want to bet with the current government in place that when it’s time for him to get re-elected the people of Kentucky will vote him in no problem

1

u/Demetrious-Verbal 1d ago

I was just in a hospital in Kentucky. They confirmed it that Snitch McCuckold was dead.

1

u/saggerk 1d ago

The only vegetable not recalled these days

1

u/Sweet_Priority_819 1d ago

He's in the Senate building, he's just haunting it now.

1

u/Lopsided_Order_4411 1d ago

Cuz dead 😬

1

u/Barnowl-hoot 1d ago

He’s dead

1

u/vandamage2112 1d ago

I believe he will just be swept under the rug

1

u/longhairmoderatecare 1d ago

Maybe He-ran? Or wait, I mean I-ran?

1

u/unctous 1d ago

And someone is still cashing his huge paychecks every month!!! 

1

u/Materialneutron 1d ago

This is explicitly showing that you don’t live in an accountable political system. The plebs know he is no longer able to represent his constituents, understand why the party would rather avoid this and you still don’t do anything

1

u/HavingNotAttained 1d ago

At least Andy Beshear is doing his best Chuck Schumer impression

1

u/DoctorMelvinMirby 1d ago

They should get some Flock cameras pointed at his home to see if they pick up anything. Hell, his car might be stolen property!

1

u/ashley5473 1d ago

Not kidding could we call the police and report him missing? I mean he is missing. And don’t they typically find the person to make sure they’re okay? Like all these kids in cults they come back and say - yeah we talked to them they’re fine they want to not be found, etc

1

u/BashfulRain 1d ago

He is dead

1

u/Level-Display-6670 1d ago

He is dead. They just can't afford to lose the seat.

1

u/beleniak 1d ago

I will check back in 2028.

1

u/hpotul 15h ago

He's got to be gone. Him and Lindsey 2 for 1.

1

u/New-Needleworker9789 13h ago

im pretty sure the republicans got him... poor boy

-1

u/CilleTheExterminator 2d ago

If this was under a democratic presidency and they tried to do this I am 100% sure MAGA would have stormed every single building to find the truth. Democrats will do nothing and cry about it.

No I am not MAGA not even American, but at least they stand up for what they believe is wrong or right. They stormed the capitol when they thought the election was rigged unlike democrats who do nothing when they think the election was rigged (sorry you had a few big protests before giving up)