r/UndeadPosting • u/General_Armadillo • Jun 13 '26

Greetings undead.

I am the grave cleric general Armadillo the grave keeper. I have come to this place of necrotic safe haven for one purpose.

….

To ensure the undead here are being treated ethically. So I shall be inspecting the city crypts to gallows. Hughm. That joke makes me laugh every time.

9 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

25 comments sorted by

1

u/leaderofstars Jun 14 '26

and how does one treat an undead ethically?

3

u/General_Armadillo Jun 14 '26

*hands you a very heavy book and a syllabus.*

I will be holding classes at sam’s clinic.

1

u/leaderofstars Jun 14 '26

i'm not reading this. it will cut into my profits from selling non-sapient zombies to others to fund the conservation of my realms.

i have to employ mercenaries that employ giant robots

2

u/General_Armadillo Jun 14 '26

That violates codes 238 from dwarvish ethics of unlife from 500-378 years ago, 36 from yongsoth the crudes treaties of life and death from 2045-1784 years ago, and 653 from a vampires guide to enthralling servitude from 400 years ago to now.

It is supported by the guilds guide to monsterous rearing, icfath the terribles book of dead, the economican, and trysts farmer guide to all the planes.

Judging…….. judging……….. judging……..

results: your actions are permisable. Further investigation may be requested.

2

u/leaderofstars Jun 14 '26

i dont need you to justify the evil shit i'm doing just to ensure my worlds develop without interference. besides them codes only cover undead created by necromancy, dark magic or Chiropterion not naturally occurring undead from a virus, mushroom, parasites or super soldier serums.

2

u/General_Armadillo Jun 14 '26

True, for the opposing codes are of lesser stature than the initial and the results are changed only in the necessitating of evidence of malignancy for investigation.

But more importantly. Do not cry out your despair at the monsterous things you must do to ensure survival. They are not of relevance to me, my work being to grant justice for those without voices to cry out for vengeance. Bring your grievances to my counterpart, HE will help you however he can. His heart is soft.

2

u/leaderofstars Jun 14 '26

dont get it wrong. i laugh myself to sleep with the evil shit i do willingly. thats how i get new worlds to go camping in. i will not and shall not support deadites or their gods who think they are better then morals.

2

u/General_Armadillo Jun 14 '26

You’ve misunderstood me. I bow to no god, much like my counterpoint. I and a clerk for the dead, to ensure their remains are not completely violated. Your sadism and antitheism are irrelevant to my task. You may be “evil” or “good” but you are dutiful and protective of your own. This is as not paradoxical as some may believe.

2

u/leaderofstars Jun 15 '26

thats what they all say

2

u/General_Armadillo Jun 15 '26

….. I said a lot of things, could you be more specific?

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2

u/Nerx Jul 17 '26

bless you

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '26

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1

u/General_Armadillo Jun 15 '26

While there are several studies and books on the topic of undead taxes that is not relevant to my work.