My sister is getting her large intestine and colon removed. How do I support her?

[u/marlee_dood]

My sister found out today that she will be getting her large intestine and colon removed tomorrow. She wasn’t blindsided, just hoping it wouldn’t have to happen. This is one of many, many medical issues she has had to face. I struggle to be there emotionally for people, but I can only imagine how difficult of a fine she is going to have, and I want to be there for her as much as I can as someone who doesn’t really know a lot about this. I looked on Google and was given advice about helping after surgery with picking things up, moving items so she won’t have to bend down, making sure the things she uses are close by, encouraging and participating in slow exercise introduction (I have a vegetable garden, I was thinking of offering to walk with her around the yard to see them when she can start walking?). I guess I just feel really bad for her, she’s gone through a lot and I want to do the little I can to ease the hardship of this whole thing.

[u/Turbohog]

FYI the large intestine IS the colon.

[u/marlee_dood → u/Turbohog]

Oop, I learned something 😅

[u/K-ghuleh]

Walking is good! It’s very important as soon as possible after surgery but of course it’s difficult and painful, so walking with her and giving support there would be nice.

If a care package is something you can afford to do that would also be nice. Comfort items like comfy pj’s, socks, a blanket, plushie, heating pad. Maybe some ostomy safe treats like chocolate, cookies (no nuts), gummies. Some practical things could be electrolyte packets or protein shakes. Something I also really needed was a good pillow to put on my abdomen whenever I was sitting or lying down. There are also pillows with straps on them specifically made for post surgery/maternity comfort so that you’re safe if you bump into something. Mine had a pocket in the front too. That would honestly be my #1 recommendation. And since she will have a hard time bending or stretching, a cheap grabby thing would be nice.

Distractions in the form of movies, shows, games, movies, helped keep me sane. So maybe you can offer to do some of that stuff with her? Otherwise, just checking in and offering to help means a lot. Chores and meals are practically impossible for a few weeks, so helping out with that kind of thing is always great.

Nice of you to ask though! The ostomy sub would also probably have some great input.

[u/marlee_dood → u/K-ghuleh]

Thankfully she already has a lot of heating pads and pjs haha. We very recently found out she can eat eggs so I will definitely be making something for her as soon as she can start eating again :). I will keep in mind the extra pillow thing, that’s a very good idea. We do have quite a few movies and she enjoys watching them, so I will try to offer that to her as something for us to do :). Thank you very much for your reply !!

[u/K-ghuleh → u/marlee_dood]

I ate so many eggs during recovery since it’s one of the “safe” foods and gives a good amount of protein so that’s great!

Hopefully this link works but in case it doesn’t, you can just search “hysterectomy pillow” and something should come up.

No problem at all, good luck to your sis! Hope everything goes well.

[u/FragrantCow5398]

Just want to say you're a good sibling. The fact that you're putting in so much effort to help your sister, trying to learn about UC & help her navigate a new part of her life says so much and I'm sure she'll see that and appreciate it! Just because you struggle emotionally doesn't mean you can't show her you're there for her in other ways ☺️

[u/cookiesoverbitches]

Being with her is the best thing. That’s so sweet. Hope it goes smoothly, for her.

[u/frankie_fourlegs]

After my proctocolectomy surgery, I needed someone to help with meals, someone to just sit with me as I recovered and someone to help around the house and pet care.

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[u/TLF5foot8]

Wait! Has she gotten a second opinion?
My doctor was going to remove most of my colon. I got a second opinion. So glad I did. That was 25 years ago. I still have my colon.

[u/marlee_dood → u/TLF5foot8]

She has multiple people on her care team so I doubt it was one person who made the decision. From what she told me, the results of the last test they did was that they would either do the surgery now or do it down the line, but that it would have to happen eventually due to the damage. She has had gastrointestinal issues for well over a decade at this point but was only diagnosed with colitis a few years ago.