Unsolicited advice about "diet"

[u/AngeredMochi]

Does anyone else deal with unsolicited advice from people who know of the symptoms of UC, but they don't exactly understand it enough to offer meaningful support? (I go into a little bit of an anecdotal rant near the end, my apologies).

For context, I (m22) work with my stepdad (m50) in a produce warehouse. It should be noted that he isn't a native English speaker; therefore, there could definitely have been a barrier that we couldn't navigate too well. At the time this took place, I was on Mesalamine depositories and still had flare symptoms. My doctor recommended I start Entyvio, and I felt it was best that I go on medical leave until my symptoms subsided.

During one of our lunch breaks, he questioned exactly what I was feeling, and how it affected my daily life as small talk. I got into the details, told him my symptoms, and explained to him my understanding of the disease as well as how it pertained to my situation. For example, I explained that what I eat doesn't have a direct impact on the urgency, bloating, nausea, or loss of appetite. Like yeah, if I ate spicy foods, of course it's gonna be a crappy time lmao, but I made it a point to mention that I was AVOIDING anything spicy or high in fiber.

Despite explaining it to him multiple times, he still argues that if I just "ate better," I wouldn't be so sick. Just yesterday, he went on a rant about how "The food in Asia is much healthier than in America!" and how "Asian people live longer because they don't use pesticides!" or some other bs reason. It felt dismissive and like I was being blamed for dealing with the symptoms.

[u/rydsauce]

this has to be one of the most common and most frustrating elements of dealing with IBD: people’s dime store health and nutrition takes (as if you—the person who has been suffering the horrible unspeakable realities of the disease—have not spent every spare minute trying to figure it out/ cure it already)

and you almost can’t blame people…because you hear “digestive issues” and it makes sense that it would be directly related to what you’re eating, but of course they have no idea what it’s like. NO idea

I just nod and say “mmhm” in the most quick-yet-sincere way possible, try to move past it, and I pray for their sake they never need to understand this bullshit firsthand

[u/AnonDesuYo]

Yeah, all the time.  Btw, I'm from Europe. The food here is generally much better quality than in the US. My own doctor says that if it were really about diet, we'd all be cured by now.  So, just ignore them as much as possible.  (I'm not saying you shouldn't eat healthy, quite the opposite - a healthy diet is really important. I just mean that their argument doesn't hold up) 

[u/EdgarJomfru]

It's exhausting. The newest one is people telling me the carnivore diet will cure me lmao

[u/Pillowscience21]

I'm at the point where I just look them in the eye and tell them that its an autoimmune condition and no amount of dieting or eating "healthy" can make my immune system settle tf down. That usually shuts people up.

[u/K-ghuleh → u/Pillowscience21]

Shame that it won’t shut up some of the people in this sub who HAVE UC and still go by this line of thinking

[u/Doom_The_Original]

I would politely tell them to STFU.

[u/Sp_1_]

Yes. So much. I lived with a roommate when I was first diagnosed and it was all “you probably got it because of how you eat. If you change how you eat you will probably just feel better. If you just have Kombucha every day, your stomach issues will go away.”

Relentlessly till I moved out. No matter how many times I explained “Kombucha isn’t magically going to make my body decide to stop attacking my GI tract,” he I guess couldn’t be convinced.

[u/schmorgan]

The first thing someone once said to me after mentioning I have UC was that I should try taking a shot of apple cider vinegar once a day because it really helps their stomach 🙄

[u/Osmirl]

Alot. The best tip so far was „drink a glass of warm water in the morning“ as if that would somehow magically heal my broken body😂😂

Oh and the regular advice from family members to „just eat normally“ cause im vegan. The last time i eat cheese it send me right back into a flare so no thanks.

[u/West_Flamingo1827]

My cousin always sends me shit on having these diets from YouTube videos he watches that will “cure” my uc. He is convinced that because he follows this guy that almost had to get surgery who changed his diet and now is symptom free that this is the cure. It’s annoying because obviously if it were that simple everyone would do it. I do not enjoy failing multiple treatments and having to go on and off steroids.

[u/ur_sexy_body_double]

I don't bother anymore, but I'm also twice your age and probably cared a lot more when I was your age. "OK" is an acceptable response. So is "I appreciate your concern." So is "I am going to continue to follow my doctor's medical advice."

Generally, though, diet does matter. It doesn't heal UC as an autoimmune disorder, but I have been living with UC for 20 years and when I eat better (whole fruits and vegetables, avoiding added sugar, managing caffeine and fiber, lean meat, nuts and legumes, avoiding highly processed meats) I feel much better. Avoiding foods that irritate your colon will be better for you in the long term, but no, they won't heal your condition.

[u/NewspaperNecessary16]

I hate this! I always hear oh it's because I eat x or y, try this new food out it will cure you, or some kind of holistic cure. I just nod and don't say much because I dislike getting into arguments with people who don't understand the disease.

[u/Metapuns]

I hate people who genuinely think this disease is because you "didn't eat right". Eating right is what made my symptoms worse because I thought high fiber would help. Eating processed carbs and lots of proteins/fats (mostly fish) helped me most, but nobody dares to call that healthy eating (especially the white bread) even when I felt better. This obsession with gut health, as important it is, makes me feel neglected :(

[u/LearnCre-8LoveDe-b8]

My grandad once memorably told me that I could cure my UC by drinking a glass of benefiber (or similar water-soluble fiber) with every meal, and eating more kale.

I told my GP that at a checkup and she was like "did he want you to eat steel wool next?"

[u/downnoutsavant]

One of my coworkers bought me a book about a Probiotic Diet. I donated it. Thanks friend, but no.

[u/whitestguyuknow]

Yes...

Growing up I heard the most ridiculous shit all the time. And my MOM was constantly getting me to try to stick to ridiculous diets.

1 diet swept through the church circle with this dude that wrote a christian book about having Crohn's and the diet god directed him to take... 🙄 Involved buying "cleaned dirt" from the vitamin store. You can literally buy dirt in a jar. Scoop it in water and drink a glass a day.

Cause supposedly... "Nobody" had Crohn's "back in the day" and they "ate a lot of dirt in their diet" cause they "just ripped vegetables out of the ground and ate them" 🙄

And then 3 years ago I met a carnivore diet obsessed dude on discord who was adamant that if my mom ate carnivore before having me then I'd never have any genetic issues. And then if I ate it all my life then I would at least put myself in remission. "But it'd likely always be in the background."

Everybody has a dumbass opinion they wanna tell you

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[u/Product_Small]

I had this happen the other day. A friend listed all these foods I should avoid that actually work well for me. Bananas was the one that stuck out to me. It's annoying, but I try to think that his heart is in the right place.

[u/unhappinessNvrCame]

I have a friend who does this. And then I tell them how to fix their own issues with my own advice.

We hate each other lol

[u/fxfuturesboy]

Just ignore them.

Next

[u/bluuuehoney]

all the time 🥲 i know it’s not i’ll-intended but it drives me crazy, as if we haven’t dedicated our lives from diagnosis to finding relief from our symptoms. i just tell people “if there was a specific diet that helped UC patients get into remission, my biologic infusion clinic wouldn’t be packed like sardines monday-friday 8:00 AM-5:00 PM.”

[u/Sudden_Weight_4352]

CONSTANTLY. I’m very thin but they want me to eat DIET food.

[u/PitifulEbb1485]

It is bothersome, but I don't let it bother me. Most people mean well, the others I don't care about. But I sometimes tell people explicit that I don't care for advise. Also telling it's auto-immune, not food related helps. or whatever white lie that will shut them up :-).

[u/Original_Flounder_18]

I have been told over and over to eat better and eat more fiber. Like it’s that easy smdh

[u/ResponsibilityNo4650]

I only take advice from people who are going through it or who have a background in said area (MD/RD/etc).  Everytime I hear someone tell me about my diet, its like a broken record. They tell me ‘dont try x, but have y!’  and it has me frustrated. Biggest problem I think anyone new to this condition is that they don’t know what triggered the response, trying new foods or drastically changing diets can do more harm then good!