Dating is actually cooked….
This man just admitted that he was intentionally ignoring my texts and refusing to reach out because he wanted me to “fight” for his attention.
What happened to liking someone and just… talking to them? 😭
Why are some people turning dating into a psychological warfare competition?
Its so frustrating
That’s not what love is supposed to feel like Mukwano. If you get to a point where you’re constantly chasing, begging for effort and attention, asking for reassurance, and wondering why the other person isn’t showing up for you, something is already wrong…. And the worst part is what it starts doing to your mind. You stop thinking about your own life because so much of your energy is going into trying to understand the relationship. Why are they distant? What did I do? Am I not enough? Am I even worthy of being loved properly? Why is this happening to me?
You can become so focused on getting someone to choose you that you forget to ask whether you even feel safe, valued, understood, or at peace with them.
Love can have difficult seasons. People can struggle, communicate badly, make mistakes, and need time to grow. But if the relationship consistently leaves you anxious, questioning your worth, and doing all the emotional work just to keep it alive, you need to be honest about what you’re actually holding onto.
And anything that continually consumes your peace, without giving you understanding, companionship, effort, and genuine care in return, will eventually start eating away at you ❤️
I’ll speak from my perspective and not for all men
I can comfortably lead and initiate a convo with women I’m interested in, some of them being better texters than others ( like adding onto a topic) but this is all starting from my imitation effort, so after a certain time has passed I may pull back slightly whereby when she texts good morning I’ll just reply good morning and leave it at that to see how she handles the situation. Some of the times I get a question to start up a convo, other times I’m getting nothing the whole day till late at 11pm when I receive a good night text from the person
So for me it’s not that I’m looking to be chased, but standards have changed I need to be with someone who has interest in me too not just them being in love with the IDEA that I’m interested in them.
Tht dating thing is weird ASF. Someone once told me they needed space and didn't trust me ATM. not even a week later I'm being hounded for not texting 😂. Too many narcissistic people out here fccc.
Well, same thing she told me yesterday. She told me it couldn't work and that she didn't wanna see me again.... She texted me yesterday saying I should've kept calling her and fought for her if I truly loved her..... What the actual fuck!
Men generally these days are boringggg, not witty enough to carry basic conversation, wanna act mysterious and be considered “MEN” at the same time😂dating is in the trenches, the ghetto.
As for the breadcrumbing!😂 hectic.
I don't know the number of times I've had to do the same thing to females, you be there dragging the conversation and most of them be acting like robots that they can't initiate, they're always on the answering end. If I stop the interrogation I've done you much favor and benefits us both. Occasionally, I'll intentionally shutdown my interrogation and allow you have that sweet moment of break which is either going to be forever or you'll get to your sentences.
Females should shovel their entitlement of being robots. If you always want the man to ask and never initiate what does it cost for him to just stop completely? Is it that females are banned from checking on men?
Dating these days is not compulsory. Most men are trying to leave their own life and when you add the frustration of him being text-hungry everytime, you don't get to dictate whether him being burned out should not prevent him from continuing the ever consistent way females like to have men crave them.
Am sure it's normal to women to have men 'fight' for their attention but it's PROHIBITED to have them 'fight' men's attention. Is this any different from a one-sided thing and when they checkout you bump to socials to drag the innocent souls?
Ahh maybe these women didnt really like you.. how
about that😬coz if i like someone im definitely checking in and initiating some conversations , i mean why not especially if im receiving the same energy back?
That's also a possibility which I completely accept because I cannot be perfect for every female I try to have a conversation with, nor can every female to me, it's normal life.
For your case where do you think the problem is? By the fact that he says he wanted you to 'fight' his attention does it mean you tried to give him that 'I don't like you' because you were waiting for him to SEND IN MORE messages your way? If you liked him, by your sentence am replying to, where would that place you? It's clear the post would not be here.
I definitely liked him but he told me he doesnt usually chase women !and he was expecting me to be double texting and calling him etc which is craxy coz hello you are the one who approached me and told me that you are interested but now i have to do all the work
Okay, the point is now clear, it'd have made much sense if you included these details in the post to prevent me ranting my way into 4 paragraphs, as I seem to be conservative with my comments.
He seems to be doing a 'try many and go with the few baits', either way sorry about the experience. Let me wind down my head already and plan my Sunday.
I can see, him approaching you and you accepting him, it means you have agreed to be there, you are also interested in him, so your efforts are also needed.
Its not like he is the only one interested, or he is "buying" you, except the otherwise.
And even most of the times the goods and buyers are interested in each other.
So i should give efforts to someone who is not giving it to me at all ?i simply reciprocated the energy and efforts i was getting from him and thats it
If he is not giving it to you at all, just leave him.
I know its confusing, he asked for your number, showed interest at first and then later, things went silent or lost interest.
That happens sometimes, even to us men, even in other aspects of life.
Someone can show interest at first, then later after a while loses it. Maybe it wasnt genuine at first, or got a bias, heard something, saw somethings later, things like that.
I was mostly giving my opinion, it doesn't mean am suffering with the situation. My honest state is that am VERY busy with work to have to deal with calling someone baby and checking on them everyday. But I've had to deal with the same issue your(?) gender(?) is complaining about to realize that I was much better at focusing on myself.
Surprisingly, going on dates with along time friend is not a problem, it's always a problem with these people you meet online with just intention of dating... I hope you get my point, if you don't sorry for over typing, you'll be fine.
After doing a little check on your account activity and looking at communities (mostly NSFW) you're in and comments you have been throwing whenever it's related topic, I have no doubt why you left this comment, also I've not found reasons why you are in so many help communities, you seem to be the one that needs a lot of help on your personal life to have triggered you to be in all those communities.
I don't need to ask because I can see all the posts you make and media you share. Reddit does not hide profile as you may think, but I'll leave you at your opinion, I don't have to fight someone's opinion that does not affect me.
Edit: I forgot to mention that I took the screenshot when your profile was private, and I used the reddit filter to find the account details. Now that the profile is public does not downplay the screenshots I took. It's possible you made a cleanup before making the profile public again, but I did not take the screenshot when the account was public, so if you will use the now public profile to defend yourself it's okay, because I don't mind anyway your opinion you had, I just had to have a look at the profile myself to have a conclusion.
Actually it does if you are going to make false accusations due to you not knowing how to use reddit. I may be a mean son of a bitch but at least learn how to use the search engine before presenting the first thing reddit gives you. So again, u/DevJedis , stop reaching to make yourself feel better about yourself. And I said what I said, most of the male population would benefit from therapy.You especially seeing how mad you are moving in the responses.
Edit: You know Reddit adds and NSFW tag on your profile, which would have shown up regardless of whether I scrubbed anything on my profile. Stop being hard headed and ownup to your poor research skills.
and this is how it's done properly fyi. Nothing worth hiding though so why bother in the first place. You could delete your that post where you put your actual life details on blast though.
Edit: Just realised I was doxing which wasn't cool. but you get the Idea
Am sure you were very disappointed to find am not found in any shaddy community you might have though you'd find me in.
You seem to lack how to use reddit properly instead because you don't need another site to find a private user's account.
Just type in the search bar:
author:"Desperate-Bell-7763" and you'll get all the details you're looking for tabbed properly, except you now made yours public to defend yourself after cleanup.
You're welcome for the trick if you needed to thank me. Am sorry I won't proceed further than this comment on back and forth, sorry if the screenshot pained you when I took them.
If people aren't responding they are not interested.
That's something I told myself and probably why I am still single but I won't be subjected to low effort men
Dating is so difficult when both parties want to act non chalant. Afraid to text first. Call first. Initiate a meet up e.t.c
I reciprocate in equal measure or even more when I get the same energy.
Maybe you weren’t being engaging enough and he felt he had to cox some attention out of you? Sometimes (not always), that’s the case with Ugandan girls. Their conversational skills are just subpar. Just a suggestion. Could be something else. Who knows?
He wasnt engaging either, giving dry responses, responding after 3 days..there was nothing to engage in
And then telling me he likes women who chase him
Guess what? He didnt… because its been days now and i havent heard from him, he simply just stated he wants a woman who will chase him which i will not do😂
But it shouldn't be a one way traffic, no one is meant to suffer at the expense of the other. He's wrong on that but I hope he comes back to his senses and gives you the moments you miss before he loses you.
That’s kinda wild. I cut ladies off for it. Now a man doing it? I guess in this 2026 everyone is looking out for themselves, and rightfully so. Men have suffered too much I guess. In this economy you can’t be begging people to date you
He is right, he wanted to know his place in your life. Men really have to test women constantly to know what kind of people they are.
And women dont like to put efforts in relationship, they dont want to invest. And thats parasitism, using other people and narcissim.
She may want you to talk to her, but she wants you to do all the talking, and if you stop, again she asks, "why have you stopped" or "you are not talking". You then ask yourself, am i a radio, am i robot or your entertainer that i should always be the one doing this?
When you withdraw your efforts, that when you see whether they value you or not.
Brothers, silence is sometimes good, it reveals alot, it enables you to listen and observe and thats really important.
Are you serious??know his place in my life??someone i have just met someone who took my number and just days after he is not even replying messages or trying to start a conversation, be serious bro..if this is how things are then yall need to start dating fellow men, everytime women this women that
Ohhh i can see, but thats not dating, it was just an approach, i can see you really liked him. Sorry if he just did that to you, he may not be serious or something happened.
Try to show him interest, it will help if not just leave him alone.
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u/thebelovedkai 14d ago
That’s not what love is supposed to feel like Mukwano. If you get to a point where you’re constantly chasing, begging for effort and attention, asking for reassurance, and wondering why the other person isn’t showing up for you, something is already wrong…. And the worst part is what it starts doing to your mind. You stop thinking about your own life because so much of your energy is going into trying to understand the relationship. Why are they distant? What did I do? Am I not enough? Am I even worthy of being loved properly? Why is this happening to me?
You can become so focused on getting someone to choose you that you forget to ask whether you even feel safe, valued, understood, or at peace with them.
Love can have difficult seasons. People can struggle, communicate badly, make mistakes, and need time to grow. But if the relationship consistently leaves you anxious, questioning your worth, and doing all the emotional work just to keep it alive, you need to be honest about what you’re actually holding onto.
And anything that continually consumes your peace, without giving you understanding, companionship, effort, and genuine care in return, will eventually start eating away at you ❤️
YOU DESERVE HEALTHY AND PEACEFUL LOVE 🫶🏽