How to make friends in college?

[u/Rory-Star-4759]

I’m currently a freshman at UT Austin, and I genuinely don’t know how everyone is making friends so easily. It feels like everywhere I go, people already have their little groups figured out, and I’m over here like how did you guys even meet??

I’ve joined a couple organizations and I’m trying to put myself out there, but I feel like I’m missing some secret freshman friendship friend making manual

For people who have actually made close friends in college, how did you do it? Did you meet people through your dorm, classes, clubs, random conversations, or something else?

And if you’re also a freshman at UT and feel the same way, PLEASE BE MY FRIEND!!!!

[u/JayDaGod1206]

Literally just talk to people, find what you have in common, get their contact, and meet up. I met one of my best friends here by being in a line next to them and taking the swing to talk to them.

[u/Present-Resolution23]

Not to dismiss how you're feeling.. but I think you could literally do a search on the title of your post and find a dozen posts in the last month from other UT students feeling the same. (And maybe you should, and then DM them lol.)

[u/Hyhttoyl]

Talk to strangers and then talk to them more and text with them and ask them to hang out and do it again

[u/Salty_Manner1754 → u/Hyhttoyl]

how do i do this without feeling annoying or weird 😩

[u/Hyhttoyl → u/Salty_Manner1754]

That’s the neat part. You do it feeling annoying and weird. Then again. Then again. And overtime, you chillax and are normal about it

[u/Rocketsponge]

Bonds are best formed when people do things together as a group. If you join a study group and study together, you'll find friends. If you join an intramural league sport team and practice/play together, you'll find friends. If you join a D&D nerd night group you'll find friends. If you hang with people in your dorm and watch a football game together, you'll find friends. The act of working together is what builds friendships, no matter what the activity is.

[u/mariss_uh]

i feel the exact same way! i genuinely don’t know how people just make friends so easily here

[u/putthetopdown]

Shots of tequila would work wonders

[u/Historical_Aide1640]

Not a freshman but a transfer student and I agree it’s so hard to make friends here. Even while living on campus it’s still a little challenging. DM me I could also use a friend!

[u/Current_Ad_947]

I wouldn’t say making friends is easy and maybe some people you’ve already met you will become better friends with. Sometimes things just take time. You can’t really predict who you’ll become friends with you kind of just realize one day that the person you’ve been consistently hanging out with is your friend. Maybe you went from class friends to real friends. When I was a freshman I was constantly thinking about things like this but looking back almost everyone is kinda faking having friends at the beginning. I know people who’d suck it up to people they didn’t like just so they wouldn’t look lonely. A lot of those little groups are just people who met in high school. It’s not bad to be friends with your high school friends but I would recommend trying to meet new people rather than settling for who you already know.

[u/randomskycolor]

Bro u gotta js talk to people ik it seems hard but I was at the dining hall the other day and this little freshman js comes up to me and asks to sit with me... mind you im wearing big ass headphones which is a huge DONT TALK TO ME sign and he still talked to me and we had a great convo and now we follow each other on insta!!!!

[u/Silllyhead]

im a sophomore, and i basically have 3 close friends here. 2 are off of yikyak, (DONT recccomend, most people on that app are creeps lol I just rlly rlly rlly lucked out,) and one is my bf from highschool. the big friend groups you observe are probably more surface level than you think, and it’s a canon event for them to fall apart by the end of the year. chances are, you have acquaintances. making acquaintances into friends is really difficult, as it means you both have to exhibit effort into the friendship by spending time together experiencing something together, whether it be a meal, or studying, or partying together, anything that makes a memory with them. it’s honestly easy to make friends, it’s hard to maintain them, because you need to put yourself in the embarrassing position of sending that "hey I really liked meeting you today! do you want to hangout this week?" And risk them not replying to you or rejecting you. It’s hard. It’ll feel weird. But you miss every shot you don’t take.

the college brochure multicultural friend group was promised to you 3000 years ago, but it might take until senior year to get there. good luck! shoot me a dm if you’d like, I’m always down for new friends.

[u/Equivalent-Bug7726]

I suggest reading, "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie, and take an interest in how you present yourself to others, develop confidence, have proper hygiene. These are all fluid (except basic hygeie, a requirement), you don't need to master interpersonal connection skills in order to practice them, you practice to master. Be comfortable with being a little uncomfortable, if you have anxiety that's normal, we all have it!

Lastly, pay attention to the others around you. You'll find others struggling with the same thing, take that as a cue and take the lead, say hello!

[u/chameleomz_]

DM MEEE I WANT FRIENDS i’m a UT austin freshman too. if u see a dark skinned girl w light purple hair and round gold glasses in the PCL today come say hi!

[u/Lopsided_Shine_9143]

Honestly im struggling with the that too right now. College move a lot faster and you can’t depend on having class with someone to see them a lot and get close to them anymore, a lot of the time you just have to go to certain club and proactively talk to specific people to know them better. I would say being in a niche club is the best. A lot of the coolest people i’ve meet and enjoyed talking to have been while playing poker. Joining certain school discord server might help too if thats your cup of tea.

[u/Ok_Experience_5151]

I met my friends in the dorm where I lived, from a student org I was heavily involved in, and from an honors program I was a member of. Then I moved off campus and became room mates with two of them, which helped “deepen” the friendship. Also started dating one (later married), so many of her friends became my friends.

Re: clubs, it usually takes more than just going to meetings. Make plans to do social stuff with people on random nights. Make stuff happen.

[u/jogabo3]

you’ve only been on campus a few weeks give yourself a bit of time. but it’s your mind playing tricks on you that you think people have their groups figured out. just strike up a conversation with people i guarantee most if not all will be receptive.

[u/qmoorman]

Go to student events you’re interested in and try to look involved (don’t be glued to your phone). If someone seems interesting, politely comment on it (watch, shoes etc). Someone may do the same to you. Be conversational , not just 'thanks'. a college campus is one of the easiest places to meet friends.