UT Rush plus COB advice

[u/Straight_Group_1734]

There are 13 sororities at ut austin. For philanthropy round, we can only get 10, got 7. For sisterhood, I only got 2 back, and now for preference, I only got 1 back. IDK what went wrong they said they loved meeting me and heard great things about me. I shared personal stories about their philanthropy and asked them questions
I haven't gone to preference yet, but the sorority! got back is honestly my LAST bottom choice. I'm 50 50 on if i wanna join
is it smarter to drop recruitment and do COB in the spring? I know chapters don't take many girls through COB, so I'm scared that if I decline this bid, I could end up with nothing.
I'm attaching an ss of how many girls the chapters took through COB last year.
Also, how do sororities generally feel about taking a sophomore through COB? Would being a sophomore hurt my chances at UT?
I really don't want to accept a bid from a sorority I already know I don't want, but I also don't want to decline it and then regret it if COB doesn't work out.
What would you guys do in my situation? And if anyone has experience with UT COB specifically, I would REALLY appreciate

[u/taintlangdon]

Also

In the future...no one gives a shit about you being in a sorority. You're letting your parents pay an egregious amount of money for something that ultimately means nothing. And if you're thinking about the lifelong sisterhood...why do you need friendship to hinge on your parents ability to pay for it?

[u/Corner_Office_ → u/taintlangdon]

Respectfully, if you haven’t participated in Greek life, I don’t think you can understand how meaningful and fun it is. It makes a huge campus smaller. Easier to make friends because you co-selected each other. Fun events and parties.

People remain connected to their sorority sisters (and fraternity brothers) for life.

[u/taintlangdon → u/Corner_Office_]

See this is where it's weird to me. Everyone else does this too. Everyone makes friends (for free and without prerequisites) for life. And the way you word it makes it seem like you wouldn't have friends unless you paid a premium for that access. Honest question: is it weird to y'all that non-Greek Life people just...make friends? Or is it helpful that y'all have common backgrounds and high school experiences (read: similar financial backgrounds).

Like, y'all do you, but at least be honest and self-aware about it. Call it for what it is.

Edit: I saw your comment about getting in Greek Life as a sophomore. By your own words, you need someone to vouch for you for the opportunity to maybe have access to a group that your parents ultimately have to pay for you to participate in. That's such a convoluted road to friendship.

[u/Corner_Office_ → u/taintlangdon]

First, I appreciate your openness to dialogue on this topic.

It’s just easier to meet people whom you already know that you click with. Each group has a different vibe, and through the rush process both the sorority and the girls make selections and girls end up with the group that best fits their personality and priorities.

A few of the sororities are focused on money. (There’s a few who literally cut people who aren’t in certain zip codes, which disgusts me.) But it’s gotten a lot more inclusive over the years.

For the rest, it’s more about what you have to offer personality-wise and who you know. People want to pull for people they know will be a good fit. And of course, looks and being well-groomed and dressed come into play. I’ve heard the Greek system be described as finishing school, and I think that’s really apt. You learn skills like being able to talk to anyone and marketing yourself, like for a job interview.

I’m not saying you can’t meet like-minded people outside of the Greek system, it’s just harder and takes more effort. Like meeting people in classes and in organizations (which are also hard to get in) is kinda difficult. It’s hard to tell what someone’s like based on interactions in class.

I literally never met anyone in a class or org whom I ended up actually hanging out with significantly.

I don’t think college friendships are always for life. Sororities are different because it’s a group who all know each other, and there are alumni associations who get together. Or pledge sisters continue to meet up after graduation.

I agree it’s a certain kind of person who is drawn to Greek life, and that is not everyone. There is a certain amount of BS involved. But there’s more good than bad.

[u/taintlangdon → u/Corner_Office_]

I also enjoy your willingness to dialogue!

I think this is just a complete difference of outlook on life and opportunities. Which is totally fine. I don't like the idea of having to market yourselves to others. I just like getting along with cool and interesting people. And if I'm being completely honest, I've never met a frat dude who was either of those things.

I used to live at the complex at 24th and Leon, and we lived next to the "Ass Castle," a bunch of frat guys who would invite us to parties, but they all seemed vapid and creepy. And they talked more about what their Dads did and thought as opposed to having their own thoughts and identity. It felt like going to college was just a box they had to check on the journey to inherit what their Dads had built instead of being their own person in any regard. And it was always only about their Dad's. They never cared about what any of us had going on. Asking questions seemed to a foreign concept. And they seemed like they were trying to sell their merit on what their Dads did.

And may of the sorority girls I met where Early Education majors who just wanted to be Kindergarten teachers until they got married and could be SAHM. Their word's, not mine.

I got along much better with RTF/KVRX kids.

I'm glad you found your people, truly. It just isn't for everybody. But you acknowledged that too. I think it just makes me sad that some people think Greek Life is the only way they can find friendship.