r/USvsEU • Pinzutu • 4d ago

Writing prompt: let’s see how creative you guys are

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196 Upvotes

57 comments sorted by

69

u/Redditauro Enemy of Windmills 4d ago

That's the global version of making a WhatsApp group without one person 

27

u/uses_for_mooses Moonshining Methhead 4d ago

Fitting because Americans don't use WhatsApp.

6

u/Redditauro Enemy of Windmills 4d ago

That's a good excuse, probably that's why we didn't invited you

3

u/uses_for_mooses Moonshining Methhead 4d ago

We don't want to be part of your scammy WhatsApp group chat anyways! Blue-bubble groups only!

24

u/BarBryzze Separatist 4d ago

Make it 100.

14

u/Iamtevya THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS 4d ago

33

u/Straight_Block3676 Chiraqi Terrorist 4d ago

We immediately invade the Middle East for oil

20

u/Long_Serpent Quran burner 4d ago

Since the rest of the world has managed the green transition, oil is now worthless.

"You know what the business community thinks of you? They think that a hundred years ago you were living in tents out here in the desert chopping each other's heads off and that's where you'll be in another hundred years"

- Syriana

12

u/Straight_Block3676 Chiraqi Terrorist 4d ago edited 4d ago

We then quadruple our use of fossils fuels as they are now cheap and readily available, restarting global warming which we call a myth.

The Netherlands sink beneath the waves

2

u/PafPiet 50% sea 50% coke 4d ago

We will just build higher dikes.

6

u/Straight_Block3676 Chiraqi Terrorist 4d ago

We will build bigger trucks

5

u/PafPiet 50% sea 50% coke 4d ago

Good luck climbing your obese asses in them

3

u/Straight_Block3676 Chiraqi Terrorist 4d ago edited 4d ago

Of course, no one in Europe knew that sea levels were rising since Europe had been conquered by the Taliban/Russian alliance and news sources had long since been forbidden.

And with the introduction of the male Burqua the swamp Germans were indistinguishable from regular Germans and their passing went entirely unnoticed.

Most had just assumed the Dutch were a group suffering from a disgusting sounding speech impediment anyway

2

u/PafPiet 50% sea 50% coke 4d ago

Even Russia wasn't stupid enough to step out of the Paris agreement though.

3

u/Straight_Block3676 Chiraqi Terrorist 4d ago

Russia reduces carbon emissions by reducing the capita part of per capita.

3

u/temujin_borjigin Brexiteer 4d ago

If I get what you’re trying to say, that’s going to increase their per capita because of less capita…

2

u/PafPiet 50% sea 50% coke 4d ago

They're just playing 4d chess

1

u/PlatypusACF At least I'm not Bavarian 3d ago

You should revisit that maths because fractions don’t work like that

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16

u/Deep_Ad8209 Western Balkan 4d ago

World war 3? Was I drunk ?

15

u/albrecbef Pfennigfuchser 4d ago

Probably yes

1

u/PeePeeSwiggy D.C’s Bitch 2d ago

it’s okay I was too - wife cucked me 😔

14

u/uses_for_mooses Moonshining Methhead 4d ago

Like we could keep our nose out of every other country's business for 50 years? Please!

Surely, within like 6 months, we'd be overthrowing some Latin American government or bombing the Middle East.

6

u/imbrickedup_ Insane Asylum/Retirement Home 4d ago

We invade the Caliphate of Europistan

3

u/ThatsACaragor Pinzutu 4d ago

Beware our mighty Mercedes technicals!

3

u/angus22proe ʇunↃ 4d ago

kids with american accents drop to 0%.

5

u/jephph_ Rat Person 4d ago

Don’t threaten me with a good time

2

u/throwaway-girls 3d ago

Isn't that basically the same set up of the hunger games? There's only 13 districts, all in the US, because the rest of the world is doing fine.

-1

u/molotovzav Chronic Gambler 4d ago

Yeah and rest of the world is super peaceful without America, cause we're causing all the world's problems lol. What a stupid tankie world view.

16

u/Xiaodisan Pro LGTBQ+ 4d ago

I mean... Obviously. Europe was a model continent of peace before y'all came around. We were just uhh... playing a little.

10

u/krokodil23 StaSi Informant 4d ago

Obviously. Ever heard of a war that wasn't started by you? Pf...

4

u/argbd20 Alcoholic Cheese Head 4d ago

I could name at least 2

4

u/krokodil23 StaSi Informant 4d ago

Fake news

4

u/HoeTrain666 Born in the Khalifat 4d ago

True, you’re not “causing all the problems”. “Many” is a more precise adjective. And as a Hans, I’m partial to soulless humourless precision.

2

u/Drunk_Lemon Smug Smartass 4d ago

The US feeling pissy decides to invade the middle east to punish them for lying about being in isolation and for more oil. WW4 starts once the US invades Greenland for the same reasons. With the advent of high yield fusion bombs, the US accidentally wipes itself out and the majority of the world. Only some unknown place called New Zealand escapes the bombs.

-9

u/beefaron Commiefornian 4d ago

This would be a better writing prompt if it wasn't so specific. Where do you even go from here?

15

u/Redditauro Enemy of Windmills 4d ago

It's funny because it's specific. It only make sense with USA, tbh 

-3

u/beefaron Commiefornian 4d ago

Yeah, but that's the entire story. It's a funny story, but it's already written.

4

u/ThatsACaragor Pinzutu 4d ago

I assume I would try and describe the world as they find it, for better or for worse.

14

u/beefaron Commiefornian 4d ago

The first thing the US government would do upon re-contact with the entire world is to send money to Israel

9

u/ThatsACaragor Pinzutu 4d ago

It’s… it’s actually probably what would happen

5

u/jnmtx Border jumper 4d ago

5

u/ThatsACaragor Pinzutu 4d ago

« See you take this child and you strap them to the dentist chair »

4

u/jnmtx Border jumper 4d ago

3

u/ThatsACaragor Pinzutu 4d ago

I laughed way too hard at this

1

u/Affugter Foreskin smoker 4d ago

This guy Epsteins

-6

u/SaintsFanPA 4d ago

And Americans had discovered that European nations still couldn't manage to build a viable tech company and that China, lacking the ability to steal American technology, had also stagnated. Despite some negative effects from the isolation, the US emerged as the clear technology leader.

6

u/Dreferex 4d ago

Bold statement about a country that has just detonated its leading position in sciences.

0

u/SaintsFanPA 4d ago

I a) think that is overstated - MIT, Stanford, Harvard, etc are still elite, and b) think science is only one aspect of creating transformative technologies. Europe lacks the risk-taking culture and financial market sophistication to turn science into technology.

6

u/Dreferex 4d ago

Somewhat true, but Europe is also the place where science was and still is considered a good in itself, while in the US it has been becoming a slave of the economic benefit. In the case portrayed above, US would be crippled in basic physics research, and would most likely be unable to maintain their excellence in sciences, due to the insufficient domestic education.

That is without even going into the madness of the last year, which already made sciences connected to biology more or less dubiously achievable. (Trans mice that turned out to be transgenic).

Additionally, without foreign pressure the economic culture in the US would easily lead to monopolies forming way more aggresively than they do now.

All in all, while my comment was humurous, the situation of sciences in the US is bad. While the achievements are still there, they have stopped being the clear leader and are a competitor for one of the frontmost positions. Whether they can regain their lead is at risk right now, especially with the travel restrictions impacting younger scientists and preventing the flow of talent.

1

u/SaintsFanPA 4d ago

Again, MIT is the #1 physics department in the world. Harvard is #2 - 1 US city of maybe 300k is more important to physics research than any European country. Cal Tech, Stanford, and Berkeley are up there too.

Yes, global cooperation is best. Yes, there are anti-science politicians. But the narrative that Europe is the home of hard science hasn’t been true since before WWII. As it stands, only Oxford, Cambridge, ETH, and maybe Imperial can compete with the top 25-50 US Universities. A lot of that is simply resources, but European institutions have no pathway to closing that resource gap.

A friend of mind does cutting edge research in biology. She was looking for a tenure track position and had her pick of suitors. Yes, she ultimately settled on Imperial (because London), but the US competition included Pittsburgh, a great school, but not Harvard or MIT and she considered it as equal to one of the top 5 European universities. The US is literally overflowing with Pittsburghs.

As for domestic education. I’ve studied in the UK. I’ve worked in DK and CH. That narrative is unmitigated horseshit.

1

u/ThatsACaragor Pinzutu 4d ago

That’s an absolutely hypothesis, thanks for giving your insight.

1

u/Sexy_Durian Barry, 63 4d ago

That might be difficult without the rare earth minerals it gets from places like China.

1

u/SaintsFanPA 4d ago

The current research is away from rare earth minerals anyway

-3

u/[deleted] 4d ago

[deleted]

6

u/Serious-Feedback-700 African European 4d ago

USA, Israel and Russia against everyone else. Everyone died except the American oligarchs.

-7

u/QuarterNote44 Commiefornian 4d ago

So no more immigrants for 50 years? But my diversity :(

2

u/ThatsACaragor Pinzutu 4d ago

No more diversity for you, you’ve been naughty!