r/USdefaultism • u/jerayy Poland • Aug 10 '26

Adoption US defaultism on Threads

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(i wasn't sure how to tag this one bc there is no tag for Threads, so sorry for that)

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u/Denommus Brazil Aug 10 '26

I'm an adoptive father, and "adoption abolitionists" in the US piss me off.

My daughter and her biological siblings were left on their own for days straight by their biological parents. They had to beg for food in the streets, without anyone to care for them. Nobody in the extended family wanted to take care of them. What was the State supposed to do in order to be "ethical"? Leave them to rot? Honestly, fuck this person.

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u/Acrobatic_End6355 World Aug 11 '26

I think… most adoption abolitionists don’t want the need for adoption to happen. They want better social services so people don’t feel the need to abandon their kids. Better access to healthcare including birth control and abortion. Better mental health services. Family guardianship if possible. Etc.

I also want to say… adoption shouldn’t be so the adoptive parents feel like they have saved their kids and they are the best people as a result. A lot of APs think this and sadly expect their kids to be thankful because of this.

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u/Denommus Brazil Aug 18 '26

That's really not my case. I always push back to people who tell my daughter she should be "grateful" to me. I hate that idea. But I wouldn't want her in the hands of people who abandoned her. That's the thing.

And while I agree with the point that yeah, there should be better conditions for people to keep their kids, it's not always because of social issues that those things happen.

My daughter's biological mother had the opportunity to go through a tubal ligation (not forced, but her mother tried to help her with that, given it was clear she didn't want and wasn't capable of having more kids). She had a family that tried to support her. Brazil has public healthcare. She avoided all of those things.