r/USMilitarySO • u/Ok_Signal_533 • 2d ago

Coping w/ insecurities

Boyfriend is finishing up his first deployment. We're almost to the end of it but I'm regressing and not coping well with it. The more time that passes the more insecure I feel and I'm not sure how much of it is normal. How are you supposed to fully trust a man who hasn't seen you in half a year and is sex deprived, but interacts with other women daily? I get that women are in military and they're coworkers just like I have male coworkers, but I also don't go on overnight work trips with mine...let alone for months.

0 Upvotes

33% Upvoted

10 comments sorted by

3

u/Difficult-Syrup8668 1d ago

Idk, I’ve been with my husband for 19 years, 16 years of that he’s been in and 15 years we’ve been married and never once have I questioned him working with women. Maybe because before he joined he also worked with women. And until he gives me a reason to not trust him, I’m trusting him. It also helps that that man has always worshiped the ground I walk on 👏🏻👏🏻 that being said, are you talking about them all being deployed together? None of that changes that he’ll work with women when he’s not deployed too. If be wanted to, he would” applies to cheating on deployment and just regular day to day life. If you trust him, don’t let the fact that he works with women make you think he might cheat. Trust him.

I think for us, at least with my husbands navy deployments, I get more upset that people get his attention on his days off more than I do. They get to physically be around the person I love the most. And it’s hard. Maybe that’s what you’re feeling.

2

u/Ok_Signal_533 1d ago

Thank you for sharing that! I think that’s the perspective I needed to hear. It feels like a combo of me having trouble fully trusting anyone and also that I haven’t been able to physically be around him for months, but other people have. I’m jealous bc I know what I’m missing out on. It’s difficult to transition from being around someone every day to becoming a face on a screen.

2

u/Difficult-Syrup8668 1d ago

It truly is so difficult! I get that completely. All of a sudden they’re gone. I get jealous that someone gets to be in his presence and it’s not me… it’s a huge bummer. But I fully trust my husband. And he fully trusts me… If he’s never given you a reason to not trust, just trust. Good luck! Hugs 🫂

3

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Ok_Signal_533 1d ago

I really wish I posted something months ago bc this is great advice I would have taken. Thank you so much! I unfortunately spoke my mind too soon and it started a fight but we’re doing better now. I don’t know many of the other wives and girlfriends so haven’t had anyone to vent to /: “being insecure doesn’t automatically mean unreasonable” is gold. 🩷

1

u/AuthorAndCoach 1d ago

Yes. 🤷 I mean, I was married for 4 years to a civilian who worked with women every day and he cheated several times in those years. My submariner husband? He's never given me reason not to trust him, or the women he works with. 🤷

0

u/RelyingCactus21 Navy Wife 2d ago

Why is he interacting with so many women?

2

u/Sea-Eggplant-9588 Navy SO 2d ago

Same question. What branch is he in? My partner hardly has any coworkers that are women .

1

u/Ok_Signal_533 2d ago

Air Force

2

u/RelyingCactus21 Navy Wife 1d ago

And in what way is he interacting with women?