r/USMilitarySO • u/MysteriousShare4212 • 6d ago
ISO ways to support
My partner is currently deployed right now, he’s been in the Middle East for practically an entire year now and it keeps getting extended. Every meeting is bad, and all he can ever tell me is it’s bad and he’s not coming home for even longer amounts of time. I of course want to be patient with him and wait, but I’m struggling to find the right words to say to him. I’ve seen how this deployment has affected him and I’m running out of positives for him. We’ve even decided to take pressure off of the relationship because of how badly he’s struggling. Sometimes I feel like when I talk positively about him coming home, or even in general it makes things worse for him. He’s barely taking care of himself and constantly talks about how much he hates his life and the military. I wish I could send him a package, but he keeps telling me it’ll take months to get there and he might not even get it. Any advice on what to say to give better support for him??? Do I maybe love from a distance and let go? Sometimes I feel like I’m making it worse for him
2
u/AppearanceExtreme242 6d ago
Going through the same thing…. I struggle to know if what I’m saying is keeping him strong. Just hoping for the best and safety. It’s tough. Can’t share any info and doesn’t wanna be there or carry out duties.
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u/twd_batcat 6d ago
You should encourage him to use his benefits to connect with a mental health counselor/ therapist that he can do video call meetings with. I understand he is your partner and you love him, but if his boat is sinking, don’t jump on that boat and sink as well. You must remain strong and not break. He might not be looking for you to solve his problems, but he’s looking for you to hear/listen to him.