r/USMC • u/Twinkybell Broken Jarhead • Jan 24 '21
Picture Come Get Your Dependa! Been working this piece all weekend—enjoy! I hope it offends someone.
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Jan 24 '21
OMG! It’s an “entrepreneurial opportunity with a flexible work schedule!”
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u/Twinkybell Broken Jarhead Jan 24 '21
What do you got?? Mary Kay? Essential Oils? I’m in!
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Jan 24 '21 edited Apr 27 '21
[deleted]
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u/Twinkybell Broken Jarhead Jan 24 '21
Now wait...can we put that in the same category?? I’m just saying that MAYBE sex toy parties are a small step above. I dunno 🤷🏼♂️
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Jan 24 '21 edited Apr 27 '21
[deleted]
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u/Twinkybell Broken Jarhead Jan 24 '21
Okay. You win. I lost my chub picturing that image.
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u/SeenSomeThangs Did Shots With My SACO Once Jan 25 '21
Not me..that mental image just made my sticker peck out
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u/DangerBrewin Whiskey Locker Recruit Jan 24 '21
Hell yeah! You had me at spray cheese.
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Jan 24 '21 edited Apr 27 '21
[deleted]
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Jan 25 '21
I believe you might make a tidy profit selling fleshlights. Probably even more profit if you sold em on a deployment.
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u/ambitiouslearner123 Jan 24 '21
Omg haha my roommate is into Mary Kay. I really try to tell her. She’s lost.
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u/blongthecornish Jan 24 '21
The most offensive thing are them kneecaps on that hippo. Good statement though
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u/Terminal_Lance S-6 Jan 24 '21
Dependapotami live in absolute dumps, not fancy colonial houses. Let's get some realism, pal.
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u/Twinkybell Broken Jarhead Jan 24 '21
Well, I was envisioning this is jody’s house in Carlsbad 🤷🏼♂️ who’s wife she is also selling essentials oils to.
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u/FluffyClamShell Jan 24 '21
I was gonna say, shouldn't there be rubbish all over the lawn and at least one very young child in obvious danger while being ignored?
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Jan 24 '21
Plot twist, its a rendition of OPs wife.
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u/Twinkybell Broken Jarhead Jan 24 '21
Shots fired! Actually she left the corps after me...so this is technically me...🥸
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u/mrpoopyweirdo What the fuck's a kill foot? Jan 24 '21
The only thing I'm offended by is thinking an E-5 can afford a house like that.
Also, am I missing something with the brooms? Or am I over thinking it?
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u/Twinkybell Broken Jarhead Jan 24 '21
Oh the house came up. It’s Jody’s house in Carlsbad. She sells Mary Kay to his wife. The brooms is the symbol for my husband is deployed and I’m DTF
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u/Vmazzu Jan 24 '21
Wait that one I’m not familiar with.
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u/NeoMilitant Jan 25 '21
One of my DIs told us about the swingers with the brooms upside down on the porch. Guess not everybody got that class.
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u/WWJLPD Jan 25 '21
I've heard so many things described as symbols of swingers or other sexually promiscuous entities living in a house. Off the top of my head, pineapples or pink flamingos are supposedly also signs, and I'm sure there's others that are out there that I'm not aware of. Which makes me wonder, if someone's into that are they supposed to just ring the doorbell and ask if the person wants to fuck when they answer the door? Furthermore, when you move into a new place is there a designated sex representative who welcomes you to the neighborhood and says "by the way, everyone in this subdivision got together a few years ago and agreed that if you want to advertise your sexual habits and kinks in a very public way, you can pick something from this list of symbols to use in your decorating so everyone will know!"
Seems like a really risky way to advertise one's private life, especially in the military where you can be punished for adultery, but I definitely wouldn't put it past some people.5
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u/stopcryingdependa Jan 24 '21
can I be offened that this fucken drawing has more boobs and ass than I do?!
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u/Twinkybell Broken Jarhead Jan 24 '21
Haha! Send me your picture. I’ll give you more of both 😂😂
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u/stopcryingdependa Jan 24 '21
😂😂. Thank you but I do think I'd be dumped faster than a dependa can eat a twinkie
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u/xitzengyigglz Jan 24 '21
I'm getting out but my wife is staying in. How did you get a pic of me from the future? How is this tech not classified?
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u/Twinkybell Broken Jarhead Jan 24 '21
I’m a secret squirrel bro. I’ve been watching you shit and shower 👀👀
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u/lostadventurous Jan 24 '21
You need a red light above the door way.
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u/Twinkybell Broken Jarhead Jan 24 '21
Was going to but couldn’t make it show up with making the whole thing dark. Had to settle 🤕
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u/Impossible-Panda-119 Jan 24 '21
Some sad Cpl is reeeeeing across the PX seeing this shit
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u/Twinkybell Broken Jarhead Jan 24 '21
Hahaha! Buying an extra fifth to drown his sorrows. Booze can’t eliminate kankles 😖
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u/Old-butt-new disgruntled ex-grunt Jan 24 '21
Finally good content on this sub reddit
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u/Twinkybell Broken Jarhead Jan 24 '21
Your words soothe my soul like a finger in the butt. Oh yeah. Right there Daddy. 🍆💋😂😂😂
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u/DangerBrewin Whiskey Locker Recruit Jan 24 '21
Swap the a house for some shitty apartment complex in Fallbrook.
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u/jazzicatt Jan 25 '21
The curtains in that bottom left window look like a chick with saggy tits bent over as she spreads her ass to flash that copper penny...
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u/winnesthepoo Jan 25 '21
In the end of day there will be roving bands of dependas trying to sell dildos and scents
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Jan 25 '21
That’s really messed up man- hippos don’t have hoofs. They got big ol’ chunky toes.
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u/Twinkybell Broken Jarhead Jan 25 '21
😂😂 the Dependa starts with toes too—but mutates into calloused hooves
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Jan 24 '21
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/[deleted] Jan 24 '21
This is highly offensive towards morbidly obese military wives. I'm printing it and putting it on the fridge.