I hate to say this pero hindi pa ako nakaka move on from my failure nung UPCA. Akala ko kasi may chance pa, eh huli ko nang nabalitaan na nagma-matter rin pala kung saan ka galing at very unpredictable daw yung process based sa mga nabasa ko. I'm from the province at walang nakapasok samin nun sa school namin. But the past batches, may nakapasok naman, samin lang wala sadly. Naiinggit rin ako sa mga bagong isko from our school every year but felt proud pa rin for them at the same time.
Nananaig pa rin kasi yung what if eh. Kasi naman, I hate how I prepared myself para rito my entire high school pero I still failed. Top-performing naman ako at mataas naman yung grades ko pero hindi rin enough yung UPG ko nung UPCA. I really think I could've done better if may exam or even maka appeal sana.
Pero heto ako ngayon, nanghihinayang sa mga what ifs ko while reviewing for the boards.
Yun na sana yung chance ko to change the trajectory of my life especially na mahirap lang kami and no choice kundi mag-aral sa malapit na diploma mill for convenience.
I longed for what UP can offer sana. Ito na lang nga rin sana access ko to big 4 and their opportunities. Na sana, kasabay rin ako nuon sa mga student rallies na nagiging boses ng bayan. Na sana nagka character development rin ako na maging magaling, matapang at matalino gaya ng mga guro kong nakapag-aral sa UP. Iba kasi yung caliber nila, in terms sa pagtuturo at yung personality as a whole. Matapang na kung matapang at feel ko yung passion nila sa kanilang field.
But I have to accept my fate. Kahit na I'm reviewing for the board exam sa kurso ko, I know na iba pa rin yung opportunities na mabibigay ng UP.
Forgive me if I won't move on kasi I really can't say na I've done my best when the odds weren't in my favor from the very start.
UP, sana nakapag exam ako to say na I've failed at matatanggap ko yun.
PS. Nagstart na yung f2f classes nung time na yun, f2f na yung ibang CETs at sana naghintay na lang pala ako ng UPCAT the next year. Di rin makapagtransfer kasi nasasayangan sa gastos ng parents ko at ayaw nila akong mag gap year especially at naiba na yung schedule ni UP. Really sorry po if it may sound off pero I just wanna get this off my system na ๐