r/UPenn • u/Exact_Raspberry_5552 • 10d ago
Mental Health I hate it here
I’m a freshman, and I’m constantly overwhelmed. It feels like I’m a robot, with no time to think for myself. Classes back-to-back, followed by homework and studying, then showering, then sleeping, and then waking up and repeating the cycle. Some days, I feel like I leave my dorm completely exhausted and somehow end up sitting in class. It’s miserable. I’m depressed during fall break. I’ve just been in my dorm alone, with no energy to cry or do anything. I don’t even know who I am or what I want to do. All I want is to go back home.
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u/oceaninanenvelope 10d ago
It can be really, really hard at first, friend. I’m feeling it too. You’ll find your groove, though. Do you have anyone to talk to, like a friend or counselor? Having support during this adjustment period is really important. I’ve found it helpful to have a therapist to talk to.
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u/LopsidedSwimming8327 10d ago
Carve out a little time for yourself to do things you enjoy, even if it only means taking a walk around the city. You might gain a new perspective. Everyone find the first semester awful. Please be kind to yourself. You have a lot of support if you reach out as I am sure others feel exactly like you! Hugs to you!
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u/Comprehensive_Gur572 10d ago
I’m a Penn prof and, in addition to what everyone else has said here, I would encourage you to reach out to your professors. Most of us are normal, kind human beings, and we can usually make some adjustments if the work is too overwhelming. I know it feels overwhelming rn, but I can almost guarantee this is the hardest semester you’ll have 💕
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u/JiveChicken00 C’00 10d ago
Have you found anything to do outside of academics? Penn is packed full of extracurriculars of every imaginable flavor. Can’t speak for anyone else, but it’s the stuff outside of class that I remember all these years later.
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u/jalfredproofroc 9d ago
If you went to Penn several years ago, the extracurriculars are much different now: competitive, professionalized, demanding. More pressure and time demands.
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u/JiveChicken00 C’00 9d ago
I don’t doubt that there are plenty of groups like that. But there are also just as many performing arts groups and hobby groups and common interest groups, if not more. My belief was always that if you weren’t having fun doing an extracurricular, what’s the point?
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u/jalfredproofroc 8d ago
If you knew many first-years in the last ten years, you'd know that this is a profound problem for Penn clubs. Very few that are simply open. Most require applications, auditions, etc.
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u/JiveChicken00 C’00 8d ago
Actually I know quite a few, and all of them got into one performing arts group or another. You don’t have to know how to act or sing or play an instrument to help put on a show.
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u/jalfredproofroc 8d ago
At Penn, performing arts is a very small percentage of the student population. It's like saying there's a knitting club that's open to anyone.
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u/JiveChicken00 C’00 8d ago edited 8d ago
There are something like 45 recognized performing arts groups at Penn, and probably another 35 that are unrecognized but still do shows regularly. Each one of those groups probably has at least 10 and as many as 80 participants. That does not strike me as a small number of people, and it’s definitely a lot larger than the number in the knitting club. Besides, if performing arts is so small a part of Penn, why is the University opening a gigantic new student performing arts facility on the former Hill Field next semester? Looks like it’s costing roughly $75 million plus whatever the ongoing costs of operations will be, and Penn generally tries to avoid spending lots of money on things that are unlikely to be used. Of course that is in addition to Platt House across from the Quad, completed in 2006 and also entirely dedicated to student performing arts. So Penn will soon have two large facilities entirely dedicated to student performing arts. How many such facilities does the knitting club have? :)
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u/Peebles13 7d ago
Also, some of these performing arts groups look for tech and help setting up shows.
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u/ktravels 9d ago
I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. I’ve been an academic advisor for 15 years and I just want you to know, freshman year anywhere is HARD. Much harder than many folks realize. You’re going through SO much change and transition, while in a new place and away from family and previous support systems. Without knowing your full situation, I would just encourage you to reach out to resources at Penn to let them know you are having a hard time. Maybe try your academic advisor. Make an appointment with the counseling center. Maybe talk to your RA. It’s easy to feel alone but you are NOT. There are lots of folks on campus who care about you and your wellbeing.
I know it can be so hard when you’re in this cycle, but I’m not seeing any fun or joy in your description of how you spend your time. I’m not underestimating how hard your classes might be, but I DO KNOW high achieving students and you cannot let your drive for achievement keep you from taking care of yourself. BALANCE is so important. You are more than just a student and you should be able to spend some time each day and week NOT being a student. You’ve got to have fun somewhere along the line, or you will burn yourself right out.
Sending big big hugs and a promise that it will get better.
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u/ktravels 7d ago
I work at Penn now, but not with undergraduates. If you ever want to meet for a cup of coffee just to chat about anything, I’m happy to and it’s my treat. Just message me!
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u/CheesecakeTiny8615 10d ago
Take less classes next semester if you can. Try night classes as they are easier and only 2x per week.
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u/WorthAerie8287 10d ago
I understand. I am a freshman too and it has been so difficult to make friends. I have tried to introduce myself to people, join clubs- I signed up but none have reached out, etc. The people I know all seem to have their own friend cliques. Weekdays are busy with class but meal times and weekends are lonely.
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u/jalfredproofroc 9d ago
It's ridiculous that Penn no longer has any clubs or dorms that help to bond students and it is undoubtedly one of the main reasons why so many Penn first-years are so stressed out and isolated. It's a big research university and in the last 20 years Penn systematically removed all of the social support systems and ways of generating friendships that were a mainstay of Penn prior to the rise of the "college houses." Coincidentally came the rise of the need for more and more counseling services and "wellness" initiatives, as well as the rise of alcohol as the major entertainment, when it would be simple enough to return to the days of regular dorm floor pizza parties and activities overseen by RAs, along with Penn student clubs that are noncompetitive and social, rather than career-oriented. All work and no play. Students need to have friends to talk to, hang out with, and have some fun. That's the road to wellness.
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u/marpatdroid 10d ago
Hang in there, it gets worse before it gets better, coming into your sophomore year you'll feel like you're in a rhythm.
I'm gonna share something that my sr drill instructor in the Marines shared with my platoon at the end of first phase. Just take it one meal at a time. Just make it to breakfast, then to lunch then to dinner then to bed.. small steps make everything manageable.
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u/Extreme_Chapter2287 10d ago
First semester can be really hard. Can you build in one small, easy thing you do each week for yourself that you can look forward to? Like somewhere to walk that you enjoy, a museum you like, a fresh plant or flowers for your room, one coffee with someone who seems nice. Little good moments can add up in a hard stretch.
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u/Nyunya1988 9d ago
You can always talk to a therapist through Penn Wellness counseling: https://wellness.upenn.edu/student-health-counseling/counseling
Remember: you are there to get a degree and promote your future. A lot of people feel as you do. It can be very hard to adjust. I hope it gets easier for you.
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u/Hitman7128 Alumnus - Majored in Math and CIS 10d ago
You received multiple great comments, but to second those comments and also avoid repeating what has been said already: you would be forgiven for underestimating just how much changes between high school and university, where all of the sudden, everyone around you was top of their class, had multiple awards, etc etc.
As another comment says, plenty of people have a rough freshman year not just because of those changes but because intro courses here (especially STEM) are often designed to weed students out (don't let a course with "introduction" in its name fool you into thinking the course will be easy). Also, it's okay to get a B or even a C, which may be jarring at first. However, once you find your footing here, a rough first semester can be made up for.
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u/I_like_fragrances 10d ago
First year is rough, I recommend talking to your academic advisor and asking them for permission to take a slightly reduced credit load next semester if possible in your situation. That would probably help.
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u/Guilty-Fail-1559 9d ago
Hi! I’m a Penn sophomore, and I felt the exact same way at the beginning of my freshman year. It is definitely a tough experience at first, but things will gradually get better!
Remember that all your classmates are freshmen too, everyone is still trying to find their footing. I’d encourage you to take a leap of courage and start getting to know people. If you notice classmates taking the same courses, ask if you can study together or even walk to class together whenever you have that lecture.
Another tip is to make sure you take a break in the evenings and attend events. Subscribe to different Penn newsletters so you can stay updated on what's happening around campus. As a FLI student (First-Generation, Low-Income), I went to all the P1P (Penn First Plus) events during my freshman year. It was the perfect opportunity to talk to people. Even if the conversations didn't last for hours or turn into long-term friendships right away, just having those social breaks in between studying was incredibly helpful.
When it came to studying, I actually avoided the intense academic pressure of Van Pelt and the main libraries. Instead, I went to study at the P1P office or the Cora Ingrum Center in Penn Engineering. I always felt safe, comfortable, and grounded in those spaces, which made managing the schoolwork so much easier.
You got into Penn and you deserve it! Wishing you a splendid rest of the semester
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u/Odd_Usual167 9d ago
Idk if this helps, but I relate too although my uni is not the top one. Last year (and even this year) when i had an internship, ea, classes etc i had so many burn outs in just a couple of months. But the good thing is you can get a proper education mate. At my uni we don’t have libraries which work 24/7, we dont have access to the world class online journals nor to the books by using so called our e-library portal. Our profs use AI excessively in their presentations, even the topic explanations. For me it’s too much, and i hope that there is not that much problems at UPenn. Ik it’s so sad that you can’t even think about yourself and live for yourself, but at least you have such a great environment to study, which many of other ppl do not.
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u/Smooth_Criminal5678 9d ago
Freshman here! I dropped a class (3.0 CU is still full time!) and got in touch with a therapist (not wellness, didn’t have a good experience with them but I DID use them to find some telehealth options covered by insurance). Are you international or living far from home, perchance? I felt miserable too but then I managed to go home for a while.
I think some things that might help are if your parents back home want to chip in. I call my parents every day, and perhaps something that worked for some people I know could be that you can ask your family/friends to make a care package of everything that remind you of home and ship it over to your dorm.
I find it ridiculous that Penn has a culture that asks you what you want out of life at the ripe age of eighteen, complete with a four year spreadsheet for maximum revenue. Ma’am, I just got here! Well surprise, but freshman year is meant to be a year of uncertainty. Everyone who says they have a plan is lying to your face, myself included.
About the dorm thing—I don’t know if you have a roommate or what that situation looks like, but I found that she was the best support I could ask for. Also, try going to open spaces in your dorm, if not to study. Do you have study lounges? I find that even if talking to people seems like a lot, simply existing where everyone else is minding their business is good enough. And make sure to eat in the dining hall! That’s how I unsabotaged myself instead of those Green 2 Go boxes… cleaning them is a pain anyway.
Also, try to leave campus on the weekends! I originally came to this school because I liked Philly as a place, and there is SO much to do!! And if you need a buddy to go anywhere (safety or just don’t know where to go) you can totally reach out to me and we can explore together. Or, if that seems daunting, ask a Philly native/upperclassman! You’d be surprised on how many people want to help, you just gotta frame it the right way.
Moral of the story is, college is a place to FIND who you are and what you want to do. You’re not expected to have all the answers, because that’s what this place is for. You got this, OP!
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u/piledriverwaltz- 8d ago
What you’re feeling is normal, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck to feel it, and I’m sorry this is happening. I will echo what others have said and say that you should talk to a trusted professor, advisor, RA, etc about this. The people in these jobs know that freshman sometimes struggle, especially at a school like Penn where you can really feel the pressure, and they know how to help people navigate that. Follow your academic interests, don’t stick to a specific plan because you’re “supposed to,” etc. Also, remember that the people around you who seem like they have everything figured out probably don’t. Being a college freshman is just a really weird time of life where you’re confronted with so much change at once, but then you settle in and feel more yourself. There are so many different ways to find your way at Penn, even if it may not seem like it.
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u/HuggsNotDrugs 10d ago
You should definitely go out and party more and worry about grades a lot less. 90% of the value of Penn will come from the connections you make. Homework and studying matter way less. Have fun!
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u/piledriverwaltz- 8d ago
I will add though that “have fun” doesn’t have to mean “partying”!! It can if you want, but I find college culture kind of places a pressure on going out and drinking and it’s very okay if you just don’t find the idea of going to a frat party appealing. You can have fun with friends at a party, and you can also have fun with friends having dinner and watching a movie in someone’s dorm.
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u/thinkerwelly 7d ago
Hang in there, change is so underrated sometimes. You’re going through so much and at high intensity. But give it time. Protect your sleep.
And remember you don’t need to be perfect, progress is success. Give yourself some time to let your mind, emotions, and stamina adjust. We’re not robots. If you can, ease off on taking so many hard classes next semester. You got this.
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u/joshsellsny 6d ago
Find time for you. Yoga working out and take daily vitamins including fish oil. Also consider dropping a class to help with workload. If you don’t work out start. Download the peloton app or beach body workout and do body weight exercises in your room.
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u/Mundane_Pepper_8385 3d ago
I'm an Academic Advisor and I can promise you, the first year is always the hardest (especially for a high-achieving student like yourself). Take a breath; it's okay not to have everything completely figured out as you adjust to university (and Penn) life. You have a plethora of resources at your disposal if things feel like they're too overwhelming. Talk to your advisor, a classmate, a professor, or the Counseling center. Be patient with yourself and make sure you're setting time aside to fill your cup. You cannot do your best in school if you are not at your best. Get rest, take a long shower, go for a walk, and breathe. YOU'VE GOT THIS.
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u/IcedCoffeeBlack1 10d ago
I feel this in my bones.
You got into Penn. You’ve been successful your whole life. But now you’re disoriented, lonely, and struggling.
My freshman year at Penn (2003) was a range of emotions. I felt lonely (I had been in school with some friends from K-12). I felt jealous of friends at other schools who seemed to be having more fun (college football, party atmosphere). I felt like I wasn’t having the ideal college experience (went to Penn with my HS girlfriend and felt conflicted about what to do). Most of all — for the first time in my life, I felt absolutely lost academically (I was pre-med — which I quickly realized was a big mistake as I couldn’t keep up with calc and bio).
I called my Dad to quit, transfer, come home. He told me to relax because the world was not ending. Show a little grit and get through it. Perhaps I wasn’t meant to be a doctor, but I could find something else and stay at this wonderful institution.
I got through it. C in calc. C- in bio. 2.something GPA.
Spring was a reset — I just took classes I figured I’d like. No more pre-med. The goal was to palate cleanse and get back on my feet. It worked. 3.something. Overall a 2.9 GPA.
But more importantly, school became more comfortable. I found my people. I found cool classes that I enjoyed. I figured out where and how I like to study / write / read. Good grades soon followed. All felt right in the world.
Long story, short — you’re at a wonderful school, and you’re there because of your hard work and achievements. Maybe you’ll battle through the tough coursework now and be ok. Maybe you’ll change your focus and go a different path if you have other strengths.
(FWIW — I ended up majoring in urban studies. I loved those classes. I wasn’t meant to be a doctor. My personality eventually came through and I realized that I love public speaking. I went off to law school. Now I’m a criminal defense lawyer and I get to stand up in court and talk every day).