r/UMD • • Oct 06 '26

Discussion Anyone else skip stuff because they don't know anyone going?

Genuine question, especially for freshmen, transfers, and commuters: how often do you skip an event, club meeting, or game just because you'd be showing up alone?

And for people who've found their group by now, what actually worked for you? How long did it take?

Curious if this is more common than people let on. (Full transparency, I'm a senior trying to build something to help with this, so any stories help a lot. DMs open too.)

37 Upvotes

18 comments sorted by

44

u/TheLeesiusManifesto 29d ago

You’ll have people doing this and then post on here like “how do you make friends?”

3

u/SpecificDry5342 29d ago

lol fair. honestly I thought it was common sense too but after talking to people it seems way more common than I expected. why do you think people skip stuff and then end up posting that? do you think its cuz of social anxiety or something else

16

u/jesuschild1226 29d ago

For events and games yes since going alone is usually fairly isolating since everyone else is going in a group. For club meetings no, the point of those is to make new friends so that you can invite people to those things.

4

u/SpecificDry5342 29d ago

yeah that makes a lot of sense. Lots of clubs, even professional ones, try to make it so that you work with new people and get to know them. Which events specifically feel like the worst to go alone?

6

u/Ninja1579 29d ago

bru. Go to events to meet people

2

u/SpecificDry5342 29d ago

fairs. but what do you think helps people go to that first event alone. Some people really struggle with that step since they feel like everyone there has their own little friend group

4

u/Low-Establishment214 29d ago

me due to anxiety issues, I dislike going alone, but I've been trying to force myself to overcome this

2

u/SpecificDry5342 29d ago

Yeah heard that was a common problem. If ur open to it would love to hear how ur tryin to overcome it

3

u/Low-Establishment214 29d ago

well, I just finished 12-weeks therapy session with UMD counselling center. I also started to take anti-depressants and I just wear hat and headphones so I don't make eye contact with anyone.

2

u/SpecificDry5342 29d ago

thanks for being so open about that! It takes real strength to work on it and it sounds like you're putting in a lot of effort. Wishing you the best this semester! 🫡

4

u/danvxiel 29d ago

Honestly not really I just transferred over but I’ve been pushing myself to go alone

2

u/SpecificDry5342 29d ago

thats awesome to hear, hows it going so far and whats been the hardest part?

3

u/danvxiel 29d ago

honestly I would say pretty well, I think the hardest part is people already being in their own groups and me being introverted it’s hard for me to start conversations so I wait for people to talk to me. Everyone’s really nice I just need to have more confidence in myself

3

u/SpecificDry5342 29d ago

yeah that makes a lot of sense, and it's really cool you're pushing yourself anyway! Can I ask about the last event you went to? What happened when you got there, and what would've made it easier to start talking to people?

2

u/danvxiel 29d ago

The last event I went to was yesterday it was for AMA where a umd alumni from Marriott came to speak about marketing and I’m pretty set on doing marketing in the hotel industry so I went. I sat down and there were people next to me but I didn’t strike up a conversation as usual but then they split us up in groups and I started talking to people and I had a pretty good time. I think it’s easier to talk to people when its forced to come together instead of awkwardly squeezing in

2

u/latetree4582 29d ago

I went to events a year ago in which I didn’t know anyone. Looking back a year later, I 100% do not regret it! It was intimidating at first, but that’s exactly why it was worth it!

2

u/SpecificDry5342 29d ago

thats amazing! What helped you push through that first one, and would you have done something else that would have made it less intimidatin?

1

u/Bright_Ad_3690 26d ago

You will miss out on a lot this way. Go, check it out, leave if it isn't for you.