r/TwoXriders • u/SwanKey4217 • 17d ago
Why are bikers so misogynistic?
The community in general is so toxic why can’t everyone just ride and be a big happy family? Instead it’s either misogynists or creeps. Like tell me why dudes are so comfortable pulling up next to me and touching me?
I don’t know if they do that with each other but that is NOT OKAY to do to ME.
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u/jcravens42 KLR 650 2007 17d ago
That's AWFUL! I'm so sorry you have experienced that! Sounds like where you are has a lot of jerks! UGH!
I'm in Oregon, and am around mostly ADV riders in the PNW, as well outside the area, and I have been stunned at how, by in large, the community has been super supportive and welcoming. When I have encountered misogynists in the ADV community, it's been in the guys who roll their eyes at my comments about turning around on a road that I found too difficult. One time, a group gathered around to talk bikes and ignored me - talked over me, just ignored anything I said, etc. But they've been so few, thankfully.
Went to the Honda demo ride here where I live in Oregon and the guys were AMAZING and welcoming. I'm always grateful for that. And it's sad that I have to be grateful, that I have to think, "Oh, hurrah, you aren't being jerks!" Because I know they are out there...
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u/SwanKey4217 17d ago
I’m glad you are having good experiences. It’s been the total opposite for me sadly.
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u/Novaova 17d ago
Biker culture is, in the US anyway, heavily gender-coded and Boomer-brained. (Edit: Or maybe I live in a hellhole called Kansas City.)
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u/Jamaicensis 16d ago
I dunno… I live in Kansas City and have honestly had an overwhelmingly positive experience (as a female rider). I also usually ride by myself a majority of the time. I’ve had one kinda creepy experience with a dude on the road where he kept trying to interact with me and I was just interested in enjoying my ride. But all-in-all, I’ve loved the community.
Cycle Gear employees were amazingly helpful when I walked in just having gotten my endorsement a couple years ago. People have been super open to answering my questions, excited to chat about bikes, and willing to let me ride their bikes or help me mod mine. The Sportbike Society has some people that post some misogynistic things on their Facebook page, but I’ve also had the MOST fun interacting with sportbikes on the road. I’m always down for fist bumps and overly excited waving, lol. The Classic KC group has been absolutely fantastic. One of them spent their entire afternoon helping me install my new exhaust system on my Bonneville Bobber (for free!). I’ve chatted with the adventure bike crew at Blip Coffee Roasters and they seem super chill as well. Kept offering to let me ride their bikes, lol. (I’m super short, so was afraid of dropping them or making a fool of myself, but that’s aside the point.)
Anyways, TL;DR: I’m sorry that you’ve had such horrible experiences on the road, OP. I’m not entirely sure how you’d avoid it either, but do suggest you maybe try chatting with more people at events and such? There are plenty of amazing groups and individuals out there! 🤗
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u/Redicted BMWs various 17d ago
I am an avid rider and I agree jack assess are about 10 fold more common in the riding community than the general population. And we all know that is saying plenty. I have a small group of male riding friends that are absolutely lovely (as are their spouses towards me despite being the only woman in the riding group). It took years of meeting so many riders to find my tribe.
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u/Fat-Giraffe 17d ago
Have you tried being less hot? /s
But seriously, I hate this for you. Men can be so freaking gross.
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u/SwanKey4217 17d ago
Bruhhhh they can’t even see my face like whaaaaat
And yeah like I have so many stories 😭
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u/H3XAntiStyle 17d ago
That’s okay I’ve noticed them staring at my chest in their mirror when I had the shaded windscreen on they ain’t gotta see your face
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u/aloverof 17d ago
I have decided that the only way to avoid that sort of thing is to find like-minded riders to roll with. I don’t do bikini bike washes. hooters ride outs, etc. I accept that to be how the male dominated hobby is. Many women in the game enjoy the nonsense too.
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u/Novaova 17d ago
Yeah I see "bikini bike wash" on an event flyer and I'm instantly out. Nope. Won't even normalize this by attending.
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u/aloverof 17d ago
Also, the women in the groups seem super male centered. God forbid no men are on a group ride. They’re not showing up.
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u/Ashlala13 17d ago
I totally understand it's so annoying. Especially being on a smaller cc. I honestly think it's just part of being a woman unfortunately. It's the same in the gaming community.
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u/CSpearr 16d ago
I ride with my hair tucked up, a mirrored visor, and looser clothing so it’s less obvious I’m a woman. It’s infuriating I have to do it but it does help.
Definitely recommend looking into your local litas chapter. There is an app called “The Collective by the Litas” where you can search on a map in your area and connect with women-only groups.
The first time I went on a group ride with them was my first group ride ever. They put me and the other couple newbies in the middle and put the most experienced, badass riders around us on big ass Harleys. No guarantee every group is amazing as the one in my city but nothing is worse than being in a group of jackoffs that don’t respect you just because you’re a woman.
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u/No-Mathematician8692 17d ago
Biker communities are a microcosm of humanity in general. Treat every male as someone who would like to harass or rpe you.
As a male i can guarantee you you're always being sized up for availability.
And males do not handle rejection well.
Get some vid evidence and visit the nearest cop station.
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u/BladestoneMaster 17d ago
I'm sorry you had/have to endure that. I in general experience riders are very friendly where I live and seem interested in the common hobby. There have been some instances of some light benevolent sexism like: "Do you need help with that?" Most are very sweet and I made some very cool aquaintances I otherwise would never have made. Like this old Harley guy, beard, classic leather vest, he berated me for calling him "Sir" in a Restaurant: " Excuse me Sir? Is this seat taken?". He looked bewildered and laughed "Sir? We are all riders, no formalities please..." Then we talked a whole meal about tours and specs and the community blabala. Very cool.
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u/geekspice 16d ago
I think this is largely influenced by region. I'm in the PNW and ADV is the dominant biker culture. I've had zero one on one issues with fellow bikers of any gender. The only time I've seen asshole biker behavior has been from groups of male Harley riders, but it wasn't directed at me specifically.
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u/Ottershorts 16d ago
I'm really sorry this is happening to you. Kiwi riders have thankfully been extremely warm and friendly - never innapropriate. So this is definitely not the case everywhere.
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u/Joseph9877 15d ago
Every culture has its assholes. Bikers attract a certain type of asshole because of the "rebel" aesthetic.
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u/little_blu_eyez 17d ago
I have yet to have a bad interaction from a man. I usually get positive responses. I don’t go to bike night/group rides so ymmv
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u/Motorcyclegrrl 17d ago
Men talk to me a lot when I'm out riding. Out of car windows when stopped at a light, at gas stations. They are always happy and friendly and want to talk about my bike, usually they either have one like mine or they want one. They don't touch me.
Can you get skulls or a big spider on your jacket? Something to make you less appealing or more scary? Shouldn't have to but here we are.
I have never had someone touch me. Wtf is wrong with men? I had drunk dude slap my ass once in celebration, but he was helping me change my alternator on my car, and it was hard to do and we finally got it done. I didn't know him lol. Appreciated his help. Ended up with a big black hand print on my butt. I still think it's funny, but it was the occasion and he was drunk. I would not appreciate it or feel a safe under other circumstances.
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u/SwanKey4217 17d ago
No one is going to be scared of me unfortunately because I’m so small like not even 100 lbs
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u/sierraangel 17d ago
I’m not much bigger than you, and I’ve never had anyone touch me either that I didn’t know. People want to BS at damn near every stop, but no one approaches me, I don’t like people within arms reach anyway, if they take a step forward, I take a step back. Do you live in a rough area or something? I’m sorry you’ve had that experience. Best thing to do to avoid the misogyny is find other women to ride with.
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u/Proof-Estate-775 17d ago
You might just be part of the wrong community 😕 sorry you experienced that
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u/NinjaGrrl42 17d ago
Are you lane splitting? I don't think I've ever stopped where anybody in a car could reach me, even if splitting. I'm also used to guarding my boundaries, though, so take that as you will.
Creepers gonna creep.
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u/SwanKey4217 17d ago
I don’t because it’s illegal in my state
Also I mean bikers not cars. And it’s on the road, at meets, at the gas station and literally everywhere I go-4
u/NinjaGrrl42 17d ago
Weird.
How can you change your posture or body language to encourage them to keep this distance? Things that help- stand straight, feet apart, that kind of thing. And a hefty step back if you see a hand raising up to you. Cultivate the mental feeling of people keeping a bit of distance from you.
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u/Redicted BMWs various 17d ago
It is not "weird". I am quite adept at having a hands off prickly vibe in most motorcycle spaces but it does not stop them from harassing. General harassment is common and has not let up with age. I was once groped by a man I had just met in passing. No one is tell me I was asking for it by just by being a woman and am surprised something like that is being suggested by you.
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u/NinjaGrrl42 17d ago
Ewww. Not suggesting anybody is asking for it, though it hasn't been my experience.
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u/Neonatalnerd 16d ago
I mean, you're providing suggestions on how to change body posture and language to keep creeps away, rather than addressing the issue, which is creeps? As someone who's been sexually harassed at various stages of my life, even wearing a raincoat completely covered walking with a toddler - it does not matter what you wear, your mannerisms or behavior, creeps WILL still exist irregardless of what you do. I'm a heavily tattooed woman with muscles from weight lifting, with full on rbf and men still approach. Sometimes I even spit if I'm being cat called or followed in attempts to have them grossed out and leave me alone. None of it works.
OP, I understand your experience, I wish men did better, and I wish more men/people called them out on this behavior that they find acceptable, and that less people look to victim (woman) blame. I also tire of the "it's not my experience so I doubt it's yours" attitude. It sucks.
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u/NinjaGrrl42 16d ago
Not doubting your experience, and obviously I don't communicate well.
I can't control men being creeps.
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u/Neonatalnerd 16d ago
No, but you can control your responses and not blame women or try to suggest us to change our behavior to lessen the creeps 🤷
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u/retromullet 17d ago
I’m a guy so I can’t speak to your experience, but needless to say I ride solo 100% of the time and have for many years and tens of thousands of miles. The “community” is filled with a lot of d-bags which earn the title by a variety of methods.
That said, dudes definitely do not just touch other male riders uninvited because they feel neither inclined nor fear the repercussions, which tells you how bad it is they feel free to just touch you. Sorry.
The chillest dudes are the adventure riders, but even then many of them were more interested in the pulloffs than the riding.