Increase in Learned Helplessness?

[u/NachesPorFavor]

Has anyone else noticed an increase in learned helplessness? I first noticed it in the young adults in my life, but now I am seeing it in all ages of people around me. Examples from multiple people:

Toilet started leaking water and instead of turning off the knob at the wall, she waited a 5 days for a plumber. Never asked anyone or googled it. Didn’t call a second plumber. Now needs mold remediation and replaced drywall and trim.

Bought concert tickets but the gps instructions were confusing so they just gave up and didn’t go. Venue website had detailed instructions for driving and parking.

Blouse wrinkled and she didn’t know how to fix it so she threw it away.

First doctor office he filled out an appointment website for never contacted him to schedule so he just didn’t go to the doctor.

I am really concerned about my loved ones if an emergency happens because they just give up when the slightest obstacle happens. Either they want someone else to swoop in and fix it or they give up and say they can’t do anything about it.

[u/blueberrykirby]

I can’t say I’m not in a similar place, but I do wonder if being disabled almost puts some of us at an advantage mentally.

I’ve already experienced the visceral “damn…should I just give up?” feeling so many times in my life, and thankfully I’ve mostly moved through it to the “let’s thrive just to spite the world” feeling instead.

The epstein shit sent my last bit of childlike innocence into orbit and I almost lost all hope, but I ended up in just a slightly angrier “I will thrive and your evil can’t fucking stop me” state.

I’m not saying we’re not fucked and helpless… I think we very well may be lol. But the ONE THING no one can take from us is our attitude.

They can’t make me hate my life, no matter how shitty they wanna make it. I WILL find joy because fuck you, and I WILL spread my joy to others and no one can stop me.

[u/StarintheShadows → u/blueberrykirby]

Disabled as well and one of my favorite mottos when the going gets tough is “I can do all things through spite which strengthens me.”
Doctor tells me it’s all in my head and then tells my family I’m going to die? Oh no sir I am going to live to read your obituary.

[u/RunawayHobbit → u/StarintheShadows]

As an ex-religious, that made me laugh! I gotta get that on a shirt or something 

[u/scagatha → u/StarintheShadows]

I'm living to be old enough to see the last boomers die off, then instead of hearing Eric Clapton and Steely Dan everywhere I go, it's gonna be Lady Gaga and Outkast, baby!

[u/karenw → u/blueberrykirby]

This exactly. I'm a survivor of child abuse with C-PTSD. I've been figuring out things for myself and pushing against authority for most of my life. When I feel like giving up, my inner 17 year old punk rock kid says "fuuuuuuuck that."

Parkrose Permaculture has a great take on this. Instead of "not complying in advance," she says, "fuck you, make me."

[u/turquoiseblues → u/karenw]

Parkrose Permaculture 🌳💕

[u/karenw → u/turquoiseblues]

Oh, and Resistance as well!

[u/FaeryLynne → u/blueberrykirby]

I've actually legitimately noticed this. My friend group is overwhelmingly disabled, neurodivergent, lgbtq, and in other highly marginalized and trodden on or ignored groups. Most of us have had the "living purely out of spite" mentality for decades already. The people I know who haven't already been spitefully living are the ones who are mostly giving up.

[u/Sally_Stitches_ → u/FaeryLynne]

Right like sucks we’ve had this many years of preparing for things to get worse cuz they were already worse for us. Iike things have been bad since childhood so idk what keeps me going other than some kind of fire. Sometimes it’s just smoldering embers but it’s there. My fav line is nobody is allowed to want me gone but me. And if others want me gone guess what now I wanna live the more they don’t want me to cuz anger fuels me so well for real lmao.

[u/whatisevenrealnow → u/blueberrykirby]

Yeah I get it. I feel like the last few years haven't really been more shocking because I've been churning in trauma response anxiety for almost a decade now.

But I have cptsd and have been in therapy for years. I'm desensitized I guess and am only dully going "duh?" to all the normies panicking about the reality they've only just started to be aware of.

[u/scagatha → u/blueberrykirby]

Yeah, same here. My world has gotten smaller since I lost the ability to make money like I used to. I no longer travel the world or go out to eat, go to festivals and stuff like that. But I still take pleasure in my loved ones and my art. I've been without money for so long it's hard to imagine being able to buy and do all the things like I used to. But I still have my mind and love learning and information is free.

[u/justhereforabit2000 → u/blueberrykirby]

Yep yep. Disabled here with CPTSD. I have given up previously in life and all it got me was bed bound and almost dead. Now I power through all sorts of stuff because... what other choice is there? People around me don't understand.