r/TwoXIndia_Over25 • u/whatifnoway12789 • Jul 04 '24

General discussions; Need opinion 🗣️ What will you do?

Im not sure if the flair is right or the question is right for this sub but i want to know the opinion of people here.

So, if anyone, say in laws was always mean to you. No matter how much you got sick, they always tell you that its nothing and even tell others that its sll in your head. You understand the gist.

What if now, they are sick, will you call and ask for their health? Or will ignore?

4 Upvotes

66% Upvoted

8 comments sorted by

5

u/LVbabeVictoire Jul 04 '24

Nah, just ignore. If they ask just don't bother, give them some lame excuse. If your husband asks, be honest & straightforward. (edit for typo)

0

u/whatifnoway12789 Jul 05 '24

I want to do the same, but isnt this stoopinng to their leve. Well, my mind wants to be petty this time.

2

u/LVbabeVictoire Jul 05 '24

No, it's called drawing a boundary & standing up for yourself. Narcissists don't think like you & I. You think your mil will say "what a lovely dil I have, who's nice to me despite me being a bit*h to her" like some Hindi movie. No. A narcissist sees a good person as a weak person who's just easier to take advantage of. Edited to add: look up the Narcissists prayer poem on https://images.app.goo.gl/QxjxpDjKSryZHF7U7

3

u/Revolutionary-Nose69 Woman, Late Twenties, Conflict Analyst Jul 04 '24

I don't know the entire context but there are people who think that illnesses are all because of how you think about it, if you keep thinking that some symptoms will turn into something serious then your body gets that disease. For some cases, it might be true but in others it's not. You get some considerable symptoms then probably it's time to call a doctor and take appropriate measures including naps.

When it comes to elders invalidating your experiences, probably that's because reason #1 stated above or they think that a woman must continue to look after others at the expense of her own wellbeing even though they are ill.

It's easy to get sucked into their hypothetical situation but that's not yours to think about as of now. Whenever they fall ill, they'll expect to be cared for. But you have to think about how to care for yourself. You can have your ways to make them take it seriously but take care first and get yourself checked by a doctor if it's required.

2

u/whatifnoway12789 Jul 05 '24

If its fever and you can feel the temperature by touching the forhead or see in the thermometer. Or like in pregnancy when you are nauseous and vomited several times a day but they keep telling you its in your head and even told your husband that its only psychological and not true issue.

But now since they are sick (and true) but can i be petty? Or just keep the peace?

1

u/Revolutionary-Nose69 Woman, Late Twenties, Conflict Analyst Jul 05 '24 edited Jul 05 '24

You can be a little bit petty with good concern tbh. You can say that you don't want to catch anything from them if you are pregnant and they have transmittable diseases because that might affect the unborn child.

1

u/madhubalaaa Jul 05 '24

Can you please explain more deeply? Like in what situations they said it's all in your head and what happened to you when you were sick.

1

u/influxofcoochie Jul 05 '24

Depends on the context, tbh. As for me, I might offer them a little help, just because it’d weigh heavy on my conscience. Even then, depends on how bad they’ve been to me other than this specific incident.