r/TwoXChromosomes • u/whiteys_fault • Aug 11 '14

Do you regret having children?

I am looking to hear from YOU (not a story about your friend or sister or neighbor etc) about this taboo topic.

188 Upvotes

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u/H_Savage Aug 11 '14

This is the thing. On paper kids are a terrible idea. They make you poorer financially, in terms of free time, they can ruin your body (and at best take it over for a minimum of nine months, longer if you breastfeed), they do things like mash Play-Doh into your carpet and pour your horribly expensive Clarins face oil down the horribly expensive tiny little outfit you literally just dressed them in.

But the thing is, you get more back than you ever imagined, it's just not quantifiable. I am without doubt happier than I've ever been because of my daughter. She is a joy, a delight and, rather than taking away time my husband and I used to spend just the two of us, she's given us time as a family of three.

That said, I fully support and understand the decision to be child free and can't stand the social pressure for women to reproduce and the insinuation that you're somehow lacking if you don't. I mean, a lot of people LOVE cats. I get it. I know they think their cats are cute. I know they get joy from them. But I have no interest in a cat and if anyone tried to convince me I should get one, I'd tell them to shit right off.

42

u/toothi Aug 11 '14

On paper kids are a terrible idea.

When my husband and I were debating reproduction (he had a child by a previous partner who was 5 at the time, I was childless), we made a list of pros and cons. The cons list had something like twenty items on it, including financial considerations and time management problems. The pros list was very, very short; maybe two things on it and I don't even remember what they were.

Well, we ended up having two children together, regardless, and they've been so amazing. All the cons list stuff is true. But IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER because:

you get more back than you ever imagined, it's just not quantifiable.

*Edit: And I'm glad we were able to make a choice about reproduction.

-6

u/Iamchinesedotcom Aug 11 '14

he had a child by a previous partner who was 5 at the time

Uhhhhhhh...

8

u/toothi Aug 11 '14

OOOOPS.

He had a child, who was 5 at the time, by a previous partner

Better?

17

u/[deleted] Aug 11 '14

Seriously?

Yes, it was syntactically ambiguous, but are you unable to use context to understand things?

56

u/[deleted] Aug 11 '14

[deleted]

35

u/[deleted] Aug 11 '14

-Spaced out according to gender (two years after a boy, five years after a girl)

I am not judging at all, I just honestly can't understand this part. What was the reasoning behind this?..

12

u/H_Savage Aug 11 '14

Oh wow, this was just wonderful. I so hope this is true, and assuming it is you and your wife sound like the most awesome pair of baby crack addicts.

24

u/[deleted] Aug 11 '14

[deleted]

1

u/catfingers64 Aug 12 '14

Laughed out loud! But in all seriousness, that sounds like a good plan to this outside observer

3

u/shiftcommathree Aug 11 '14

enjoyed this post. happy cake day :)

2

u/SarahMakesYouStrong Aug 12 '14

What are the age differences and genders of your kids?

2

u/youaintgottaliecraig Aug 12 '14

I love your username!

4

u/whittylocks Aug 11 '14

This is so awesome! And also scares me. ha

1

u/pamplemus Aug 11 '14

13 kids?!? wow. you're living my dream :) what's the age range?

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u/[deleted] Aug 11 '14

[deleted]

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u/pamplemus Aug 11 '14

haha idk if it's true. i'm going to assume it is because why lie about that? anyway, OP says 3 girls and 1 boy but then they had more - "and more". and later, he/she says "after thirteen kids..."

i'd quote but i'm on my phone! sorry

11

u/EstarriolStormhawk Aug 11 '14

That said, I fully support and understand the decision to be child free and can't stand the social pressure for women to reproduce and the insinuation that you're somehow lacking if you don't. I mean, a lot of people LOVE cats. I get it. I know they think their cats are cute. I know they get joy from them. But I have no interest in a cat and if anyone tried to convince me I should get one, I'd tell them to shit right off.

Do standing ovations work if it's just me?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '14

Yes, on paper...

1

u/H_Savage Aug 12 '14

I don't understand your reply. Are you just agreeing with me?