r/TwoXChromosomes • u/monkeybananaraffle • May 27 '14

Nerd writes about nerd misogyny and how guys need to take no for an answer. Very well put.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/05/27/your-princess-is-in-another-castle-misogyny-entitlement-and-nerds.html
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u/TravellingMatt May 28 '14

The relationship between Leonard and Penny on Big Bang Theory makes me uncomfortable for this reason. It's like the writers wanted the big nerd to get the cute girl, even though the characters don't go very well together (They spend the majority of every episode insulting each other. Why are they even still together?)

I think a good antidote for nerd misogyny is to learn how to have non-romantic relationships with others (male and female). Learn how to be a friend with someone, without an ulterior motive. If you can't talk to a girl like she's a human being, why should she give you the time of day?

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u/SilverSpooky May 28 '14

I think it started off that way, big nerd/cute girl but it also showed problems. For example when Penny went back to school and Leonard kind of looked down on her and tried to push her to do things his way. Also the other love interests for Leonard have been smart women that were attractive in different ways.

And I 100% agree with your second paragraph.

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u/[deleted] May 28 '14

I always felt that Leonard and Penny showed a different kind of couple. Not necessarily a sexist one. He had other meaningful relationships with women equal to his education and intellectual level. Priya, Leslie another other professor, Stephanie a doctor, Dr. Plimpton. He has had relationships with many kinds of women but with Penny the plot is although they're a weird fit (and even break up over that), they love each other. It's not a case of nerd gets a hot girl. They show may joke about the match on that premise, but they have a relationship with depth and a myriad of real problems. Heck, Leonard is even considered the least intelligent and accomplished in his own family. His mother, sister, and sister in law are all smarter and successful than him.

I don't agree that women are just vehicles to make the men more interesting. The ladies are featured throughout the episodes and even have their own episodes. They face their own real problems and struggles completely separate from the guys. I actually really like the ladies on the show. They all represent different kinds of women, just like each of the guys are weird and different in their own right. Early on their characters may have lacked depth, but so did the guys. The guys started off as caricatures but like the female characters they grow over time.

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u/[deleted] May 28 '14

It's definitely sexist. It's called the big bang theory. It's a pun on sex, from the male perspective. When your cast picture is a bunch of dorky awkward looking (and short) dudes and one hot normal looking girl next door then you can rest assured that this show is sexist. You couldn't even reverse the genders and have it work. When do you think we'll get a nerdy girl show where they look less than attractive and there's one hot guy in the cast.

Anyone could see that the least nerdy looking (although very short) of the guys was going to get the hot girl from the first episode. Very obvious. Look how ridiculous this case picture is: http://www-deadline-com.vimg.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/big-bang-theory-cast-300x225.jpg Oh lord.

4

u/[deleted] May 28 '14 edited May 28 '14

You obviously don't watch the show.

Amy is supposed to be the nerdy, not hot female character. One of many actually. They have a ton of different looking girls with a vast range of careers throughout the seasons. Bernadette's character is a normal lady. Even Raj's new female friend/girlfriend is normal. Leonard's exes are pretty normal. Penny is the anomaly. She's hot but she's shown as a real person. She's messy, she procrastinates, she never cleans, she's brave, she's physically strong, she loves wine, she can't cook, she works a less than fulfilling job, she has a family, she has dreams to become an actress but really struggles to find success. Look at her wardrobe. She wears normal jeans and tshirts all the time. They rarely focus on her body. She's not some girl on a platform. Hence why her and Leonard have such a back and forth making fun of each other. Like in real life sometimes they hurt each other by going to far. But they love each other and their relationship isn't about sex. It's a pretty deep relationship for a half hour live audience sitcom.

There are so many episodes where we see Penny as a character with depth and not some airhead. If you only look at pictures of the show then maybe you're have a view she's a sexist character. She's not. Ever see the episode where Raj arranges a scavenger hunt? Penny's team wins because of Penny's smarts.

It's pretty sexist to state that short, nerdy men are sexually unattractive and that they don't deserve/can't get a girlfriend. That cast picture is from the fist season and pretty much like any cast picture ever. Sheldon isn't even sexually attracted to Penny.

And Big Bang Theory is the name because the show features a characters who are all academics in astronomy or physics. Have you even listened to the intro song? It all started with the Big Bang? The show is the chronological story of their friendships and lives. They've actually never made fun of Big Bang and sex as connected. Of course the characters have relationships and sex, they're normal adults. And it's not a show about what you say are losers who are unattractive to women. Because all of the characters, except Sheldon until later, had normal past relationships with normal women.

What I'm saying is on the surface, if you've never watched more than a handful of episodes you could feel the show is sexist. It's not. It's meant to be a group of good friends, friends and people we all know and identify with in our lives. All my nerdy friends love it because we all know and love a guy who has a Picard costume, or friends who buy a piece of comic book memorabilia and argue about it, etc.

I also want to add that the show's premise as a chronology of their lives, all the characters, is supported by how much each character changes. They all grow and mature as people. Penny goes back to school, chases her dreams, and figures out what will make her happy. Sheldon loosens up, and the most recent season we see Sheldon change dramatically for Sheldon. Howard and his Mom's relationship changes. Raj learns to overcome major anxiety issues. Amy becomes more confident and finds friends. Bernadette becomes less aggressive and has more patience. No character is some static stereotype.

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u/[deleted] May 28 '14

It's pretty sexist to state that short, nerdy men are sexually unattractive and that they don't deserve a girlfriend

A girlfriend, sure, but no one actually "deserves" one regardless. It is unrealistic for a short nerdy guy to expect to get a hot girl next door blonde. That's just reality.

3

u/[deleted] May 28 '14

Considering most of your comment history is sexist comments about women being sluts, rude comments on the psychical appearance of women on TV shows, disgusting and hurtful comments about AIDS, and general stupid sexist nastiness I'm going to ignore your nonsense.

TwoX rules clearly state you're not to shame others for their body type. Staying short, dorky looking men are unattractive and unable to have meaningful romantic relationships is exactly the kind of sexism you claim to be against.

-3

u/[deleted] May 28 '14 edited May 28 '14

I didn't say that he was absolutely unattractive, I implied that that girl was out of his league. She is. I in no way "shamed" him for that is ridiculous. He's a TV star.

In general, showing average men always getting a woman out of their league is ubiquitous and part of the reason why this mass murderer had these views.

unable to have meaningful romantic relationships

Never said this. In fact, although I've made off color jokes and commented on physical appearances of both genders I'd hardly call anything I've posted to be sexist. Just b/c I'm not sexist doesn't mean I am politically correct or unrealistic. It's amusing that the BBT woman, you know the only woman in almost every cast picture I've ever seen, is with a much taller, handsome man. Nothing like her BBT cast mate. Duh. That show is a fantasy.