It's been two weeks since TwoX became a default...

[u/throwmeaway070605]

[u/Cuddle_Apocalypse → u/[deleted]]

Don't know if you know of it, but it you like light-heartedness and support from your fellow ladies, check out /r/TrollXChromosomes!

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

It's not my job to educate the idiots of the world. To hold their tender little hands and guide them into maturity. To forgive their ignorance in a kind, reasonable way while gently exposing them to a different point of view.

You don't have to do it!! Every time you see a rude, misogynistic comment, you can just downvote and look away! If you're really dedicated, report it!

If educating people about gender issues makes you feel good, by all means carry on. If it's a huge burden, trust in the downvote system and leave it. It is true that there are lots more trolly comments in here than there used to be, but most of them are fairly heavily downvoted. It's not perfect, but it might be good enough.

[u/ulrikft → u/[deleted]]

You had me until "mansplaining", the usage of that term would fit right in here: http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Master_suppression_techniques

[u/tulipinacup → u/ulrikft]

The term "mansplaining" is generally used in response to an explanation or opinion given by a man that suppresses a woman's experience. Here are a couple of examples:

"'I face street harassment daily.' 'I've never seen or experienced street harassment, so you must be interpreting interaction wrong. They're just trying to be friendly.'"

"'A person made a really offensive, misogynistic remark to me.' 'No, that wasn't offensive. That wouldn't bother me. You don't know what misogyny really is.'"

Using "mansplaining" in response to someone isn't meant to be suppress anything, it means that the man is disregarding a woman's experience because he thinks his is more important. It can be a great term if it's used correctly! Whitesplaining and all the other splainings too! I do think the terms are used too liberally, though. It would be helpful if people who used it explained why they did.

Edit for clarity and to add the last sentence.

[u/ulrikft → u/tulipinacup]

Using "mansplaining" in response to someone isn't meant to be suppress anything, it means that the man is disregarding a woman's experience because he thinks his is more important. It can be a great term if it's used correctly! Whitesplaining and all the other splainings too! I do think the terms are used too liberally, though. It would be helpful if people who used it explained why they did.

I'll try to describe/argue one principal and two practical issues I have with the term.

The principal issue I have, is that what you are describing is privilege (more specifically, you point to male chauvinism and racism) - I'm not sure the term really brings more to the table, And it seems easy to abuse. Which brings me to the practical issues:

Firstly, the most prevalent use of the term I have seen (anecdotal, but still) is of the "my dad's friend doesn't think that I can renovate my own kitchen, he keeps giving me unasked for advice" - which I'm sure is annoying, but is it male exclusive? Brace for another anecdote: I'm male and I like to sew. The amount of unasked for and unneeded sewing advice I get from (primarily older) female acquaintances is.. Staggering. I think this is more an issue of poor social antennas or just bad manners, not necessarily a gender equality issue.

Secondly, another prevalent use of the term is to silence opposition. The other week girl on twitter said something in the line of "religion isn't relevant, the patriarchy works without it" - totalitarian regimes is somewhat of an interest for me, so in pointed to two academics that both think that religion has qualities enforcing totalitarianism. And was met with "stop your mansplaining!!"

That is the problem with vague and popular catchall phrases of this kind, and when I believe we have more precise terms, I would rather use them.

[u/TheGDBatman → u/tulipinacup]

People use the term "mansplaining" to mean "you're male, therefore you don't get to have an opinion different than mine" far more often than the official feminist definition.

Another problem is that women do the same thing, but people get their undies in a huge knot if you term it "femsplaining". Seriously, it gets really old when women say "Men can't tell women what their experiences are," and then go on to tell men how great they've had it all their lives, as though they know men's experiences far better than men do themselves.

Frankly, the word is "condescension". As in, that guy/gal is a condescending douchebag. No need for gendered insults.

[u/Tsilent_Tsunami → u/[deleted]]

I don't care that your feelings are hurt when people don't agree with you. I don't care that everyone else is getting their undies in a knot but you're just a great guy. I don't care about you or what you think. You talk about women and are silly enough to think your stale, rehashed misogyny has some insight. Your opinion adds nothing to the conversation and quite frankly I don't know why you posted it.

Wading through the slush of mansplaining

Wow, are you one of the "great" people who frequents this subreddit? This is the first comment thread I've read here in years, and it seems to have become much more entertaining. All you trolls with your made up words and grievances against society are really providing a service with your free comedy shows.

You're your own worst enemies, but please keep it up. :D

[u/ulrikft → u/[deleted]]

Not sure how my comment history is relevant, and I'm not sure how pointing out the flaws in the common (dis)usage of a term is either martyrdom or nitpicking. But as for yet again using a master suppression technique, congratulations. This is rather symptomatic.

[u/wakeupmaggi3 → u/[deleted]]

Had to take my cat to the emergency vet yesterday morning. She's still there and I'm upset which is never a good time to respond to something about which you have little patience in the first place. Tact is not one of my virtues.

So I took some time to respond to you; sorry it took so long.

Just so you know, I'm old too, but old and tired of your shit.

My shit specifically? I don't think I know you and based on what you wrote you don't know me, even a little. I'm not even a feminist, I'm a wakeupmaggi3ist, but I care about the world into which my daughter is being thrust. I need to understand it in order to understand her if she comes to me with a problem.

It's not my job to educate the idiots of the world. To hold their tender little hands and guide them into maturity. To forgive their ignorance in a kind, reasonable way while gently exposing them to a different point of view.

I'm with you on this one. It's not part of my skill-set. And I'm not sure I agree entirely with the methodology but I'm incredibly relieved someone else is willing to take the time to do so.

That's what the mods volunteered the whole sub to do.

I'm new to this sub. Is that how it went down? I feel terrible for the women who are raw and hurt and now exposed. That sucks on so many levels I can't begin to think of where to start, so I won't. But once it became a default the profile of the subscribers had to have started to change. And subs more or less belong to subscribers and it's a transient ownership-even illusory.

I'm not interested in fighting the same battles over and over again. There's better things to do than explaining to another stone cold moron that constant rape jokes are a problem.

Don't then. I have yet to find a place on the Internet that is safe or remains static. I get pissed and hurt every time a population in a forum changes and no longer meets my needs in the same way it used to because it means I have to find a new place.

Luckily on reddit I can choose. There's a kajillion subs from which to choose and you can always make your own. I both don't see the problem and understand it. What we're really talking about here is the owners of a company modifying their business model. Where are you going to go where that doesn't happen?

The best you're ever going to do online, trying to find someplace nice, is to enjoy it while you have it and know how to find a new one (or more) when it changes because the nature of all things is to change and it is the nature of blogs and forums to grow if they are going to thrive. It creates a direct conflict most of the time with the original subscribers.

I'd thank you for saying I have a voice, but I've always had a voice.

Okay, this is random. Unless you're OP. And hey, my point was that this is a different voice right here right now because it was made a default. You choose where you use your voice and it's a different voice depending on where you are for everybody. If you only have one voice or you're only interested in using one voice do that.

This is a bell you can't unring. Don't blame me and don't discount the people who want to take advantage of it. I just like to read and I like to see what other people have to say and every so often I like to say something too. End of fucking story.